Find Living Relatives

Evening people, i need help in trying to find my half sister who was adopted back in 1996. i belive her first name might be the same but the last names could have been changed to prevent anyone locating her.
i have her date of birth, hospital of birth too but other than that im stumpped!
i belive social services would not have told her she was adopted and nether her adopted parents too, which i think sucks.

the main reason for doing this is beacause my mum was an alcoholic and i told her i would help her if she cuts the drink out totally and fair play to her its been 3 months without a drop and so i belive she wants to find her too. my mum has no computer knowage so i will be doing everything online for her,
but if any one has any advice or help they can give i will greatly apprciated

Assuming your half sister was adopted at birth, she will have to wait until she is, I think, 18 before she can access her adoption file.

There is very useful advice on the summary of this board, which includes 3 websites.

http://www.norcap.org.uk/
http://www.postadoptioncentre.org.uk/Services/adviceline.php.
""People wishing to find the new identity of an adopted relative can hire an intermediary agency through Directgov. ""

Good Luck

When someone is adopted, their surname is changed to that of the adoptive parents. She becomes their daughter.
Its nothing to do with 'preventing anyone finding her'.


To be perfectly honest,you have absolutely no idea if Social services or her parents have told her she's adopted, so dont 'assume' she either does or doesn't know. You have no idea what she knows!

How old is she now?
How old are you now? Both of these make a difference as to what info you may or may not be given.

I'm 33 now and she is 21

i forgot to mention that she was adopted when she was 6 years old too.

If that was the case, she would now be about 22 if she was adopted age 6 in 1996. If she chooses to, she has the right to look at her adoption file and see her original birth certificate.

Add your name(s) to all and any registers you can find, and keep the contact details up to date.

Add her birth name to this thread and month/year and place of birth.

Make sure that you have her name and those of her parents on your tree on here.

Even if you let your subscription lapse, make sure that GR has your current email address.

If your mother knows which SS or organisation handled the adoption, they may be willing to put a letter from you with her file assuming she hasn't already asked for it. If they have a contact address for her, they may be willing to act as go-between if she has shown any interest in finding her birth family.

It's really up to her to make the first move, if that is what she wants to do.

In the meantime, you can hope and wish that she has had/is having a wonderful life with her adoptive family. <3

If she were adopted at 6, she must remember you and your mother. She probably goes by the same forename too.

Rose

thanks for the info guys,

but now the update. i found the last name that she was given, i have also found her on facebook too.
but i ended up going round to the address too as im a stright up person, bad some might say.
but i ended going out with the adoptive parents last night, the mother was shocked that i came looking, but the dad seemed normal. they said they was glad danielle wasnt there even though she knows who i am. as social services have been keeping them upto date with things up to 2009.

im just shocked as to why she hasnt come looking?

but the parents are going to have a word with her now and say i have been in contact, but i have said that if danielle wants not further contact then can she ring me and say it, as id rather hear it from danielle and not someone i dont really know. if thats the case i will let all i done go and not trace no more.

am i being unfair ?

Honestly - Yes I think you are a bit.
Maybe she has bad memories, maybe she wants to let the past go?
Turning up on the doorstep prob wasn't the best plan.

From what you say, she was taken away because you mother was an aloholic, taken in 1996 aged 6, so she is now 22 ish? Thats a lot of years You say your mother has been dry for 3 months. I can see why the adoptive parents are hesitant.

Dont demand things. Danielle might not be in a position to want to talk to you direct. Be gentle, give it some time, dont force things. People need time to think and sort out their feelings.

If nothing else, you now have the means to send her a birthday/christmas card, which was more than you had before. Cherish that. Hold that little nugget of 'Hope'- because for while you dont nag for her to decide what she wants, there is always hope.

Give your sister time, this will be a terrible shock to her. Last year I contacted my husband's half sisters, It was ages before I got a reply, she said she was shocked & it took her time to get her head around it.
Luckily for us it has worked out well, they are so nice & we are now close. But we took it very slowly at first. Good Luck, Iam sure it will all work out well. But please don't pressure her or it could put her off. :-)