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Would this be a good idea

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

PollySalt

PollySalt Report 10 Jul 2011 22:05

Hi just wanted your opinions please.
I have an uncle who is a good source of information (sometimes he does forget but being in his 80's I think that's perfectly reasonable).
A little while ago he told me of a cousin of his, who I would estimate to be in her late 70's early 80's, I know her name, parents and approx date of birth, I have looked through Staffordshire BMD and I found her birth date and her marriage, what I couldn't find was a possible death so I am surmising that she's still living, I do know she has two daughters.
My dilemma is how do I go about finding and possibly contacting her, obviously respecting her privacy, she may prefer not to know, my local paper does a kind of family tree column where people can ask about lost relatives.
This is where your opinion matters, do I place a piece in the paper's column asking if anyone knows of this lady,giving info such as cousins she may know ect or do I leave well alone, one part of me wants to do it but the other is I'm scared in case I upset someone

minihousenut

minihousenut Report 10 Jul 2011 22:12

Have you tried looking up marriage records for her daughters then trying to locate using 192.com.I personally would try to locate her as it's better to be rejected than spend our lives thinking " What if" 192 also has the 2011 electoral roll so this may help

PollySalt

PollySalt Report 10 Jul 2011 22:20

Hi craftingcockney and Flick thanks for your replies, Flick I don't know how to do as you suggested.
CC, I don't know her daughters first names I only know her's and her parents, I'm a believer in the "what if" or "if only" so I can see where your coming from but I'm still nervous about it

chrissiex

chrissiex Report 10 Jul 2011 22:41

You do know her husband's surname ( not suggesting you put this info here just checking what you know )

so then you can find the daughters by searching for births with that surname and with the mother's surname you know, in around the right time and place ...... as long as they aren't Welsh and named Evans and Jones you should find them ..... :-D

freebmd will do that up to 1950 ish but do you have access to Ancestry for later if you need that ?

to search for her death, if she has died, it would help to have her full name ( not just middle initial ) and exact date of birth, the deaths index can be searched with those even without a surname

for one thing she could have remarried at some point and so the death, if so, could be under a different surname ........ or even if she partnered with someone else but didn't marry

does your uncle know of a reason why she would not want to know ? does he want to get in touch with her himself or are you just wanting to contact her for family tree information ? either way I would say there's no reason not to try but it would be nice if someone did want to get in touch with her for more than just info for the family tree :-)

Genealogy Chat would have been a better forum but doing that now would just duplicate this request so I would just leave this here

and don't forget to search trees here ( the button in the row up above ) to see whether anyone in her family is a member and has her in their tree and then you can make contact through this site

PollySalt

PollySalt Report 10 Jul 2011 23:00

Hi Chrissiex thanks for your reply, I do know her married name and the area that she lives in.
Its not a matter of just wanting info its wanting to know her and her daughters and letting them know that there are living relatives out there that they may like to get to know and they are part of my family.
It was my suggestion that perhaps she may not want to know, not in a nasty way but just perhaps because she would be an elderly lady, I'm sorry I realise I'd phrased it badly

chrissiex

chrissiex Report 10 Jul 2011 23:26

If you do want help finding the daughters just say in the thread here and one of us will volunteer to get the info from you by private message and do some looking up :-)

Corinne

Corinne Report 11 Jul 2011 10:12

Pauline, if I were you, I'd go for it. Whilst researching my paternal grandmother's family I discovered a cousin of hers who was 90 (she was 96 earlier this year) and she was over the moon to discover me and my dad and was able to fill in info that Gran had never mentioned. Plus, she's a really nice lady who had lots of fascinating stories to tell of life in India before Independance. I've also met several other family members from that branch and we are in regular contact.
Best thing I ever did!

Sheila

Sheila Report 11 Jul 2011 12:18

Hi Pauline

Are the names very common ?, if not send me a pm and i will check the elec roll for you .

Bob

Bob Report 21 Jul 2011 19:54

Try Family History Society in the area where she lives They may help in some way Bob B