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Here I am..... feeling lost, lonely and have no energy. My legs feel like lead and don't seem to want to work and neither does my brain either. Can't decide whether to have cereals or toast..... tea or coffee..... shall I sit at the dining table? or in the lounge? decisions, decisions all too much this morning to be honest.

Our bungalow seems too quiet and too tidy and much too empty with me on my own as the family are back in Durham now. They all wanted me to go back with them and I will, but not just yet. I love them all dearly but need space for the tears to flow now.

As hubby was disabled he was exempt from paying road tax and so today I need to find a Post Office to tax the car. Our village Post Office closed for three weeks refurbishment on Wednesday and I'm told will re-open as half being Post Office business and the other half as a Premier supermarket? Typically bad timing for me!!

Thanks to Jane for her updates and her "listening ear" cyberstyle, and very many thanks to everyone who has supported me and my family through a sad time. XXX

Thank you Jane I am pleased it all went well with the service and hope it was a comfort to them that so many people were there.
If you look in Kandj you are much in my thoughts. Make sure you eat those tasty meals to keep your strength up.

Thanks for the update Jane. I have avoided sending Kandj a pm as I thought she had more than enough to cope with and wouldn’t want to be bothered with lots of personal messages, but she and her family have been in my thoughts. If you are in touch with her please give her my love.

I had an email from Kandj today and she has asked if I would pass on her update.
The service for Hubby was so well attended that there were people standing around the sides and in the corridors . Her Hubby when he was well had been very active in the community and well thought of. That must have really lovely for Gloria to see so many folk there.
She is feeling very weepy and rather lost at the moment which is understandable .But she was going to try and take a stroll around the block today . Hopefully the weather was ok for her to be able to do this. Just to get out of the house for a short time will be good. Her SIL has stocked her freezer with more small meals and hearty soups . I bet they are lovely and tasty. I am hoping that she has managed to have her walk today and that a bit of good fresh air may help her sleep better.

The birds are going crazy still on the window feeder. It seems everytime I look out it needs re filling !!!!!

Dear Kandj <3 <3 <3

<3 Kandj <3

You and your family are in my thoughts. Your husband has left a lasting legacy in your wonderful family and he will live on in them. Support each other and let the love you share and your faith help you all through this difficult time in your lives. God bless.

Thinking of you and your family today Kandj as you celebrate the life of your so precious husband. He will obviously never be forgotten by so many who loved him. Cry together, smile and laugh at the memories and have those lovely group hugs. And stay strong for each other. God Bless your husband and God bless you all. xxx

My apologies for not having read through previous postings. Tomorrow 10.20am is the Christian funeral service for the Celebration of the life of my precious husband, a much loved dad and an adored Grandpa. Today has been a difficult tearful day but our family have shared lots of group hugs together. Tomorrow could be even more upsetting.

Very many thanks to everyone for all the months of ongoing prayerful support which has really helped us all through a heartbreaking time. XXXXX

I dont think I will do the birdwatch this time. There are so many birds I have a job to keep up with them !!!!!

Vera, that was a long time getting home from the funeral That M25 can be an absolute nightmare. We dread having to go on it as 9 times out of 10 something always happens to make the journey longer :-S
I remember in Barcelona being so surprised at seeing so many Parakeets. Hannah says she sees quite a lot in London. We dont have any around here. Some years ago now I spotted a Parrot sitting on the side of our fish pond that we had then. It must have escaped from somewhere. My neighbour managed to capture it in his big fishing net and he looked after it in one of his bird cages in his garden.He had rescued Owls. We put out a message on local radio and I think the Parrot s owner heard and came to collect it.

Thinking of Kandj <3 Just one more day now before the funeral :-(

Not sure when I will be doing it, for some reason have not been able to download a form even though going into the RSPB site, never had a problem previous years so may not even do a return. It is pouring with rain this morning here so all the birds will be hudled under their little umbrellas somewhere. Will see anyway. Two days ago there were 7 goldfinches on the feeder, you can bet anything you like they won't be seen on birdwatch days. I am sure they know! :-D :-D

Don't forget it is the great garden birdwatch this weekend folks. I will be doing my hour Monday morning as we will be too busy Saturday and Sunday

Had to go to a funeral in South London yesterday and while we were waiting outside the crematorium we could hear a really loud bird noise. Looked up and in a tree there was one of the green parakeets that seem to be taking over parts of South London and Kent.

It took us just under two hours to get to the funeral and four hours to get back. There had been an accident on the M25 and long delays on other roads :-(. Just what you want at the end of an emotionally draining day.

It’s been a bright but cold day here and there haven’t been many birds around today.

Thinking of you Kandj and sending love
<3

Thinking of our dear friend Kandj <3 <3 <3

Kandj <3 <3 <3

I have had the Woodpecker back visiting the window feeder today :-D I just love the way it hangs on almost upside down with its feet and then dips its head in the feeder. :-D.....I can also hear an Owl somewhere not too far away tonight. It has been a while since I heard one.

I haven't heard from Kandj for a few days.I hope she is ok . Maybe she has gone to stay with her Daughter and family before the funeral on Monday.
Lots of love Kandj if you look in <3 <3 <3

I am pretty sure I have never seen a Redpoll. But at least I know what it looks like now :-D

Ann,that is so interesting about the Long TTs. I did know that they all slept in a line on the same branch . Poor little ones on the end.Especially in this weather :-( )

I wish they would visit here more often as I think they are such lovely little birds.
Mind you they wouldnt get a look in on the window feeder at the moment with the Bully Blackbirds and all the other squabbling ones.I am filling the feeder at least twice a day .There are just so many.
They will have to hungry though for a few days from tomorrow as there will be no-one here to fill the feeder.

Jane - I hadn't heard of it either but thought at first it was a gold crest or firecrest but the beak was a different colour so we concluded that it must be a red poll.

That programme was very interesting wasn't it Ann. I love the long tailed tits :-D

Kandji <3 <3 <3

Getting back to the long tailed tits which we were able to see as they had a tracker on one of them. when they roost they always (in their group) return to exactly the same branch in the same shrub (often holly I think) every night. Then they all huddle in a line on that branch with the senior birds landing and squashing themselves into the middle to keep warm. When they nest, if they lose the babies through a predator, the adults then go and help feed at another nest in the group. the filming was lovely and we saw them up really close. One pair had 6/7 chicks. all the chicks fledge at the same time. :-) :-)

Jane I looked in my bird book and looking at it quickly it is sort of sparrow like with a pinky red head and the male has red under its ‘chin’ the beak is trisngular and pointed.

I was reading about the tree removal in your garden did that come down in the recent storm?

We watched. bBC2 programme on Dartmoor this evening, there was a lot about long tailed tits, really interesting.

I have not heard of a Redpoll . I must have a google to see what it is.
After all the rain today the Woodpecker came visiting and was having a feast on the lawn .Plus all the big Male Blackbirds. It looked like a feeding frenzy at one point.

Lots of love to our Kandj
<3 <3. Always in my thoughts