General Chat

when you like the cardies that Audrey Roberts in Corrie wears.

you reach for the tweezers - but not to pluck your brows but the whiskers!

You know you're getting old when you suddenly are able to fold up your knickers. lol

You know you're getting old when you have sex with someone half your age and it's legal.

Anatomically speaking, a bust is here today and gone tomorrow.

Aileen xxx

Old age is just something you grow into.

I’m as old as my tongue & a little older than some of my teeth.

As old as the mist and older by two.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly & lie about your age.

Forty is the old age of youth; fifty is the youth of old age.

You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

You know you’re over the hill when your knees buckle & your belt won’t.

One of the chief pleasures of old age is looking at the picture of the beautiful girl you didn't marry.

......you look in the obituary column in the paper to see if your names there.

Anne

Your back goes out more than you do.

DEAF WIFE "priceless"

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid. Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem.

The Doctor told him there is s a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response."

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?"

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?"


Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her. "Honey, what's for dinner?"






(I just love this)


"Ralph , for the FIFTH time, CHICKEN!"

I havent gained any height but find my feet are further away from my hands, especially trying to put on socks, and tie my shoes.

If I buy a thick book, its not for the long read.........its so I can reach the top shelf!!

Senior Exercises ..

The Doc told me to start an exercise program.Not wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the following:

MondayBeat around the bush Jump to conclusions Climb the walls Wade through the morning paper

TuesdayDrag my heels Push my luck Make mountains out of mole hills Hit the nail on the head

WednesdayBend over backwards Jump on the Band Wagon Run around in circles

ThursdayAdvise Prime Minister on how to run the country.. Toot my own horn.. Pull out all the stops.. Add fuel to the fire..

FridayOpen a can of worms.. Put my foot in my mouth.. Start the ball rolling.. Go over the edge..

SaturdayPick up the pieces..

SundayKneel in prayer.. Bow my head in thanksgiving.. Uplift my hands in praise.. Hug someone and encourage them.. What a Workout!

You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead

you start to notice how young policemen look!

when you refuse an extended warrenty as you might not need it

You know when you're getting old when....you never miss the opportunity of going for a wee, just in case!

Anne

Just a fun thread, give us an example of something you do now but didn't used to when you were younger

You know you're getting old when...you use a public toilet because you know it's clean not because you need to go