General Chat

It's not up to me to judge, my heart aches for the mother and child. I would imagine she is still in shock over the entire scenario. If she is sending photos, she is feeling something. When we are shocked we say and do things we would not normally consider.
It's not anyone else's decision, when she is well again, she can make her decision rationally.
In the meantime, Carole you are a gold star friend, support her as she struggles, let her make her own decision. And we will support you.
Hugs
MAry

Well.... I am amazed.... Joan, I am so pleased you have asked people to be moderate in their condemnation of this poor woman.

How dare we condemn somone so vociferously when we do not know what is going on in her mind and her life... she may have mental health problems that no-one knows anything about, not even her nearest and dearest.

Almost everyone on this thread is here because they have had mental Health problems/depression etc, and yet still some of you cannot find compassion for this young woman . You do not know the facts, so how dare you stand as judge jury and executioner, those of you who have done so... and those who have stood in her defence, thank you for the voice of reason.

I came on here because I needed support from folk who would understand, so have been saddened and infuriated at some of the things I have read.

Joan I agree and do not want to judge either, but must add find it difficult not to. I also hope this child finds a loving family, who will have waited a long time and will cherish it. My biggest problem is that our Carole is hurting, thus I hurt with her. Yes, being a mum would have to be the hardest job ever, you are their mum until the day you fall off your perch, no matter what. I also feel for this lady, such a difficult decision to make. However, she may change her mind, hard to say.

On a lighter note, I am FREEZING!!!! My fire went out and the wood is wet and I had trouble starting it again. Have been nearly sitting on top of the fire to warm up again. So off for a hot bath to thaw the rest of me out.

Yesterday, OH could not get some of my chickens in, I call this lot the Seven Dwarfs, so I said I will show you how. Smarty pants called them up and they followed all around, into the feed shed and then the rest of the pens then into their own pen. OH was not amused, and could not understand how I can do it. Well I was there when they hatched, I am their mum, so what does he expect. They even come up to the back door at times and I am sure if it was left open they would come inside and nest near the fire.

Love and hugs

Gail

Yes thinking of Mary, Coleen, and all the family and friends sharing the delight of Dudley and Sandy. Hope the weather keeps fine for you all.

the woman with the baby had a coil fitted, it just didn't stop the baby getting through!! Baby is breathing on it's own, and now there is a photo of work friend holding the baby on facebook. So looking good for babys health. The mum however is still mostly bed confined because of high BP and eclampsia. She sent me a photo to my phone so I can show everyone at work the baby.
I guess when pregnant you bond with the baby during the nine months but she didn't know until five hours before the baby was born. But seeing that helpless little thing would melt me, and all stops would be out to get things ready to go home together!

I find it difficult to judge that woman over her decision... the baby...
I don't understand.
We have all had our moments when we find ourselves pregnant again and we think.... O.M.G. I don't need this. BUT once the baby is there... to then give it away, I do not think I could.
There again, I am not this woman, I know nothing about her, only she can make the decision. I just hope she doesn't live to regret it as many poor girls who were FORCED to give their babies up did.
Bless her, she may find herself a wonderful mummy and daddy.

Carole, I know it must be so hard for you just now, but he (R) WILL talk to you. Just give him the time and the space to recover.
I have been there, and handled it ... all wrong. So I do know love. XXX

I have had an amazing find in my tree.
I am so excited.
I was on ANCESTRY on Friday and had a wee look at the Jewish Gen. death records. Just for so that I could have a moan later when I found nothing! ;-0)
I found my uncle (my mothers brother) who died in 1994. It gave his mother and fathers names, which I knew, but it just clinched it.
What a find.
Then I looked up my grandfather. That gave me his ...exact... place of birth, brilliant. ;-0)
It also said he was ' the brother of '.... and was buried in the same cemetery, which I also knew....
Have I had a good weekend , or what?
The search seems to have dried up there though, as my granny was widowed and remarried, finding her second marriage has proved to be quite difficult. Never mind... tomorrow is another day.

Mary, that is amazing news about your daughter taking the children out ... unattended. She must have felt so great, bless her.
Enjoy your BBQ and keep me a seat.
I will be sitting with all my GR pals, OKAY? ;-0)

Good night everyone and I will see you in the morning.
Deanna XXXX

Carole, it is discusting that, that woman could disregard her baby like it was a bit of dirt on her shoe.
Like Liz says she may not even live, but if she does i am sure that there are a lot of wonderful people out there somewhere just waiting to give her the love and care that she needs.
We were not allowed to touch our grandson until he was about 2 months old, mother and father when he was about 2 weeks old because he was so small as well just to rub his skin with their fingers through the incubator.He is now a wonderful 15 year old starting exams on wednesday.
Liz, thank you for your p.m. so nuch going on here at moment will reply later.
Take care everyone,
Talk soon,
Lily

Carole I am finding your friend's attitude sickening, what an awful woman. OK so the baby was a shock but poor little girl might not even live, she is very tiny, (2 oz lighter than my late daughter) might have problems in future and her mother is discarding her like a bad tooth that's fallen out or something. Shouldn't a 40 yr old have known more about contraception if she didn't want children?

I hope this little baby thrives and finds a wonderful family to love her forever but what an awful thing if she ever finds out she was discarded like this.
I would imagine she is too small for cuddles and be sure the nurses will give her all the love and care she can have at the mo.

Lizx

What a lovely job as a volunteer to cuddle babies!! It's this womans atitude that upsets me, it's as if she had her appendix out. Thats it lets get out of here and sun bathe. I don't want to waste my matternity leave in hospital.

Deanna R was in the chair when I woke on the setti, I said oh hi R have you been home long? No he said. Sat up did something with his phone then went upstairs again. So no conversation there. I feel so isolated from him.

Mary I want to go off to facebook to see the dogs. But I will reply first! Wonder how Coleen got on at the zoo with no help. Wish we could all be at the BBQ with you.

Joan have you seen my friend just had a baby and is having it adopted? I can't understand it at all. I know there are lovely people who need this little girl but I can't stop thinking about her laid there alone, with busy nurses feeding her. I want to help!! Or cuddle! :)

Yesterday was my friends grandaughters 1st birthday I went to see her and she is all smiles. Climbing up the stairs! ( The baby not my friend!)
This little girl smiles all the time she is so happy.

Well we are surviving. We had a bad episode on Thursday, thank God the trainer was here. Gareth had a major meltdown, flung himself into the china cabinet with some breakage, so angry and strong and meanwhile I am all tangled up in the various leads! Since then he has been much calmer, butI suppose I was looking for an instant response, it takes about 2 weeks apparently for them to bond.
Colleen took all 4 of her kids to a local zoo yesterday - BY HERSELF- Meg and I stayed home. First time she has been able to go out in the community without her sister or mother attached!! Tomorrow we are having an open house/BBQ to thank all the people who have helped us. My son AND his girlfriend (they are talking again thank God)are coming out this afternoon and staying through tomorrow to help us. Jo (the g/f) was here for 3 days this week, helping me get ready. What a dear.
For those who are on FB, my daughter has put 2 photos on of the kids and dogs and me! The photos are now on my site too.The dogs are VERY well-trained, so quiet. Our JR,Penny just growls at them allows them the right of way - hilarious, Rosie our corgi,just ignores them!
Got to run, we have to be at the Autism walk this morning, we'll be walking a couple of miles.
Hugs all round,
Mary

Hi Joan, nice to see yah. ;-0)

Carole, I feel for you. We hurt more for our children's hurts than we do for our own don't we?
I am sure that childless people think we are just making it up to sound good.... but all I can say is, You are lucky to have only your own pains to deal with.
I hope he eases up on himself soon Carole. You haven't even the comfort of saying... "plenty more fish in the sea". That is just NOT helpful. Bless him.
I have just had a nice chat with Eileen, so I have used up my 'away time'. I had better get back to my husband. If he wanted to sit alone, he need not have got married. ;-0)

Have a nice weekend everybody.
Love Deanna XXX

I have seen pics of the baby on facebook, she is so tiny a bag of bones. I feel so upset poor little thing laid there not getting cuddles. How can this happen? I cant say to my work mate how I feel, it's not my place but I am so shocked. I told my councilor yesterday and she said she sees so many addopted people who struggle later in life.
I know there is a family somewhere who are waiting for the call to say there is a baby for them.
The baby will be loved, but ...........................

My son split from his girlfriend and is as misserable as sin. One word answers and long face. Not eating. I hope he gets over it soon

Mary have you noticed a difference in the children since the arrival of the dogs?

Anyone had any contact from Joan?

Thinking of all my friends here xx

Hazel how awful not being able to get on the bus. Unfortunately, there is still loads of ignorance out there concerning the disabled. Hopefully your daughter will improve gradually and be able to get around without the chair. I do not go out much, apart from not having access to be able to go out, I find ignorant people make it so hard that at times I do not want to go anywhere.

On the other hand, there are some lovely people out there as well. So why do we always remember the horrid people when they are such a small percentage anyway?

Caz, I must say have never lost a chicken from a hawk or eagle yet. Had one sitting in front of one of my brooder pens once but it could not get at the babies. I am very vigilant watching my chickens. They really are a lot of fun. I have a rooster and a hen that are 9 years old, very unusual. Also helps me keep the brain off the pain. One of our lovely cats is now 19 and 6 months old. Vet checked her age for me, she eats well and loves walking around outside, but her place in the winter is beside the fire to sleep.

Carole, I can imagine how shocked everyone would be with the baby. Such a difficult decision to have it adopted. At least it will hopefully go to a loving home, and a mum is surly waiting for this baby with loving arms.

love and hugs

Gail

Hazel, I thought the law was that a wheelchair user takes precedence over a buggie. In this area a buggie has been known to have to get off when a wheelchair needed to get on. Signe specifiaclly state that buggies must be folded if there is a wheelchair. I would write to the bus company and ask their policy.

Hazel, that is terrible when a mother will not put a buggy down to let a wheelchair user on a bus.
I think the driver should have insisted.
Wheelchair users often do not have a great time of it, I know from experience.
Good luck love, and *get tough* believe me you need to.

Goodnight all.
Deanna XXX

O.M.G..... poor baby.Why after all that, does she not want him/her?
My sister was less than that when she was born (twin) and she is a healthy wom, 5 children and now a huge brood of grandchildren.
Perhaps she feels that they just could not cope?
Good luck to them all.
Deanna X

I'm in deep shock my 40 yr old friend from work,( a single mother of a teenage daughter) phoned to tell me she had a baby on Tuesday! She had no idea she was pregnant. She has already decided, with the babys father to have her adopted. Poor litle thing she weighed just 1lb 8oz.

Hi thanks everyone.

Teri(daugther) is getting better each day.Getting bit more feeling in her leg now. But have had few headaches so got to keep close eye on her.

Still waiting for appiontment for hospital to have more test and to see what got to do next.

Got a wheelcahir so can take her out. But not being to good myself in walking, its not easy.

Tried to get on a bus today and the bus driver wouldnt let us on as a buggie was on there and the woman wouldnt put it down. So had to wait another 20mins for next one. The little one who was in the buggie was about 3yrs old.and it was a easy buggie to put down. I cant believe some people.

Hazelx

Aw Gail, I'm so pleased you still have her and she is going to be a mummy, lol, I can't imagine how small her eggs are though, an inch long? I've often wondered about her with her unusual beginning.
Better keep an eye on them there hawks and eagles though, by gum I would be outside all day watching them.

Caz xx

Hi Colin.... yes I am a six million pound woman..... Every pound made up of 16 ounces. ;-0)
hope you are well today.

Hazel, that is so frightening for you and your girl, 28??
Is she doing okay now?

Everyone else, I do not have the energy to 'chin wag' to each one individually, so just accept my affection and I will be back later.
This morning I have exhausted myself TRYING to get a bit of 'homemaking' done around here.
Every step of the way is a difficult job for me... but well, we have to try don't we?
I have done well, though not as well as I used to. I am sure you all know the feeling.

Dutch phoned this morning for a chat.... okay, I will forgive you for holding me from my work ;-0)..... mainly because you made me SIT DOWN. So thanks Joyce. XX

I have just taken the dry wash from the dryer so I had better go and see to it.

Liz, the eagle has flown... ha ha ha, enjoy. XX

Nothing to say really, so speak later and have a lovely day. The sun is shinning, I have a summer dress on..... and .... I AM NOT COLD!!

Bye my pals,
Deanna XXXXX