General Chat

Lovely to see you Ann of GG, and hope you will feel brighter soon. Shingles can bring you down so no surprise you need a little help right now. Give yourself lots of tlc and treats.

Mary, hope Colleen can find the strength to fight back against that horrible woman who cheated her out of her money and spoke so nastily to her.
Glad you had a little help with the cooking, and that the meal was interesting. Maybe you and Mary could work out some simple recipes that she could make her own (and make on her own or with Em) so if you aren't feeling well she can take over without feeling stressed and it can be fun for her.

Hazel, hope the trip with your sister will be good for both of you. Hope the weather stays bright for you too.

Vicky, sending you a hug, hope you can sort things out with whoever is upsetting you.

Lizxxx


~~~~~~ to Persie xx

well hello all - long time no see!! haven't been on here for yonks now - still taking the antidepressants and very happy indeed!!! as I've said before, no shame in having depression of any kind - it's an illness same as shingles [which I had a dose of recently] or flu or anything else - don't be afraid to talk about it and if anyone wishes to talk to a good listener you can pm me for my telephone number and I'll talk you to sleep - that's a genuine offer by the way for anyone who needs someone to listen

I'm so pleased this thread is still flourishing

Ann XXX :-) :-) <3 <3

Hugs on their way, and hoping things will setlle down for you.
XOXO)
Hazel, travel safely, have a lovely time with your sis.
Mary XOXO to both.

Thanks Ann. Hope you and your sister have a lovely break Hazel.

Take Care peeps xx =I

((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))) To everyone

Going away with my sister tomorrow for a week. Hope she will be ok and the rest will do her good.

Take care

Hazelx

Sending you cyber hugs as requested Vicky

((((((((hugs)))))))) <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Not posted on this thread for ages, but could really do with some cyber hugs.
I have reached the end of my tether with a certain person, and am feeling so down.
I know I am so very much luckier than some people, but it doesn't feel like that these days.

Thanks for listening, and God Bless you all :-(

Thanks Persie, that was my thought, of course she was under duress, who wouldn't be? I'll talk to her later when the day evens out a bit.
Mary XXX

Still go for it....signed under duress... won't hold water.

Persie

Thanks for the pick me up dear friends.
The problem is that Colleen signed a contract initially, which indicated that she was a sub-contracted worker, therefore not an employee. She had to cancel her holiday last year but never received vacation pay, they now are denying that too for the same reason. The 2 weeks in lieu also apparently doesn't count as she is sub-contracted.
Last night I had a look at the termination agreement re confidentiality etc, and at the bottom it states that she has been paid up to the date of the contratc. Colleen being the trusting soul that she is, signed the wretched agreement and is now out the $$$$ they owe her. She'll be trying to fight it now, but her sig is on the paper. That money was ear-marked for essentials.
To cheer you - and me - up a bit our Gareth has been very frustrated that the previous rain barrel was replaced last year with one with a lid. I looked out the window yesterday while enduring miniMary making supper - later - and gareth had taken all his big tractors and so on, out of the big plastic tote where they are kept, having discovered that the tote was full of water. Here he was, absolutely sopping wet, sitting in the tote, tractors etc all strewn around. Filthy, muddy rusty water, which he was delighting in pouring on his head. How could I not laugh?????
Back to miniMary, I was fighting a headache, awaiting more rain, so she offered to make supper. She had taken a dozen eggs and had a line of bottles on the counter which had all been added , and was scrambling them - apparently - no milk added BTW, There was brown sugar, onion & chives dip mix, salt and pepper, dried peppers, cheese, dried bacon bits, sage, can't remember it all. Of course the eggs were being cooked before the bacon, and before she had thawed out the bagels which were to become sandwiches! The bacon and bagels were lovely eventually, the eggs were an experience!!
THEN she posts on Facebook - " cooking supper for 7 people - not fun!!"
All to keep my life interesting.
Thank you all, I needed reassured that I was not absorbing the 'victim' attitude. It is what it is, and I remain convinced there is light at the end of the tunnel, Sharron you are right it was prob knee-jerk reaction.
Now could someone tell me how long these tunnels are??? LOL
Love and hugs,
Mary <3

Knee jerk Mary!

Woman was surprised and bewildered by your daughter's resignation. She was probably hugely reliant upon her and her emotion came out this way. The problem is all hers,the job is probably too big for her and she needs to delegate more than is appropriate.

Good luck to C with her new job. At least she has been honest about her shortcomings which is evidently more than her previous boss has been.

We had a good day yesterday. The old man needed sunglasses so we went off into Chichester to Boots. He with his mate in a taxi (£30) and me in the car with OH.
He chose his frames with the nice lady because I wouldn't do it. Well,it's not my frames and he is perfectly able to choose himself. I had to do the nasty bit with the debit card.

I left them to it then. They went to get his bus pass which some bloody jobsworth woman would not let him have, I had been told to supply something with his date of birth on it and a hospital letter would do but not for Mrs Jobsworthy. He was in a wheelchair,she could have ticked the disabled box and issues it on that!

Undaunted,the intrepid pair went off to Wetherspoons for a cup of tea and fish and chips.All for less than £8.

OH meanwhile,was having his own problems. He was waiting for me in our Smart in a little square behind the shops.St Martin's Square for Liz who knows where I mean.

Now we don't have a disabled badge even though we are entitled. We NEVER park in designated disabled bays but will wait for each other on double yellows so as to move if necessary.

OH was sitting on double yellows with spaces all around him when a woman parked beside him on a disabled badge.She got out and tore him off a strip for parking in a disabled place and making her walk further than she wanted to the shops.The width of our Smart! Three steps if you take little ones. Oh the joy of self-righteousness!

At least the old man is full of the joys of Spring today!

I will come on here as knowing nothing (fairly easy for me)

Now 1) I have to ask Mary did your daughter have an existing contract with whoever she worked for.
or 2) If not - what was signed when she originally went and worked there and what was the stipulated time that was required for a resignation
3) An employer cannot tell someone to go immediately - there has to be a verbal warning followed by a written warning before this can be carried out.
4) If two weeks resignation was the accepted practice and your daughter has been put out on her ear, her employer has to pay all holiday pay etc plus the two weeks - by the employer doing what she has done she has forfeited those two weeks and must meet her financial obligations to your daughter.
5) Do you have a citizens advice bureau, an MP or ombudsman, labour relations affiliated enterprise or somesuch that can be contacted for advice on how to handle this.

I have in the above not been judgemental of anyone nor let emotions get involved and you will need to do the same. Your daughter has the same rights as anyone else and her health issues should not come into the equation as the employer was aware of them.

Persie (I was the Human Resource Manager and managed the wages for a large company)

Good Luck

Hi Mary,

No, no way do you come across or sell yourself as a victim on here. We all know the pressures you are under and have been for so long as you try to support Colleen and Megan. That boss of C's was out of order, is she really allowed to send her home like that or will she get paid for the fortnight anyway? Sounds as tho Colleen is well rid and I hope the new job will be much better for her and for all the family. I think C. just has to take things slowly in opening up to the new boss, she can give her a rough outline of her situation but wait till she is more settled to say more than that perhaps, so she won't feel so vulnerable. Of course she has to make it clear that in an emergency situation such as being called from school, her first priority is to her children if you can't get to them instead.

I do worry about your physical well being tho, as so many things happen at home that cause you to have bumps, falls and exhaustion. Maybe an overhaul of how things are stored/used/left out so that fewer breakages or damage is caused. You always seem to be having to clear broken glass or get rid of wasted bubblebath/shampoo etc etc, which is more work for you and wasteful when your finances are tight so a few locked cupboards for more than the minimum left out might help, also with the food spillage etc Just little things but they would release more time for you to rest or do pleasant things instead of constantly be waiting for the next disaster.
I am sure it must be so hard for you all to keep tabs on the youngsters all the time but it could be the difference between someone hurting themselves badly and more peaceful living.
Has Megan got another job yet or are you doing the gluten free stuff at home to sell on?

Take care and get Colleen to release the feelings she had after the nasty exboss vented her anger, tell her it isn't worth worrying about and to just carry on coping the best way she can with the skills she has developed over the years. They have worked so far getting her training under her belt so stick two fingers up to that exboss and steam ahead with the new work.

love and hugs
Lizxxx

Hi Mary xxx I have a great urge to jump on a plane, bringing Toby with me of course, and meet up with that so called boss who took your daughter to task, believe me Toby would give her a good chewing over followed by a knockout punch from me..what an insensitive person she must be and not fit to hold the position in management!
I have always believed that the truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilised life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do plus honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom...
Believe you me lass, your life to date has had so many ups and downs it's a wonder you still have a sense of humour, which you certainly do and which comes over loud and clear in all your postings to us,.long may they continue xx Following a similar up and down life style to yourself the 'ups' certainly compensate and bring us the joy which we thrive on....so Mary never change your way of thinking or your way of expressing yourself to the whole world, people love you for who you are and what you have accomplished to date....people who think differently are only jealous which I myself have discovered throughout my life....
Together you and your daughter will face this latest hurdle and move on to better times, I think you know this already because you are both fighters, yes..
Right, am now going to climb off my soap box and see if I can get back to sleep, inbetween typing I have swallowed my pills, drunk two cups of tea, been to the loo twice so just maybe a couple of hours before daybreak might not be amiss...
Take care lass....lots of love
Joyce



Joyce P

Hi Mary xxx I have a great urge to jump on a plane, bringing Toby with me of course, and meet up with that so called boss who took your daughter to task, believe me Toby would give her a good chewing over followed by a knockout punch from me..what an insensitive person she must be and not fit to hold the position in management!
I have always believed that the truth is the only thing worth having, and, in a civilised life, like ours, where so many risks are removed, facing it is almost the only courageous thing left to do plus honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom...
Believe you me lass, your life to date has had so many ups and downs it's a wonder you still have a sense of humour, which you certainly do and which comes over loud and clear in all your postings to us,.long may they continue xx Following a similar up and down life style to yourself the 'ups' certainly compensate and bring us the joy which we thrive on....so Mary never change your way of thinking or your way of expressing yourself to the whole world, people love you for who you are and what you have accomplished to date....people who think differently are only jealous which I myself have discovered throughout my life....
Together you and your daughter will face this latest hurdle and move on to better times, I think you know this already because you are both fighters, yes..
Right, am now going to climb off my soap box and see if I can get back to sleep, inbetween typing I have swallowed my pills, drunk two cups of tea, been to the loo twice so just maybe a couple of hours before daybreak might not be amiss...
Take care lass....lots of love
Joyce



Joyce P

Mary, I would ignore the remarks from her current boss as they are vindictive. No way do you play the victim. good luck to her in the new job. I would not say we feel sorry for you, we are in awe at the way you all cope with the hand that you have been dealt.



And you make us smile!!!!!

Don't know what to say to all that in the first instance. Your family is what it is. We have all shared our lives/ problems with each other and I think you have more than your fair share of problems, but you have a lot of love in your home. I wouldn't say you were thought of as a victims on here. C must have been hurt by her bosses cruel words. I'll bet she was angry to be loosing a valuable member of staff, and was thinking of her self more than C. I hope C's new job is everything she hopes for. And yes you are absorbing some of her distress cos that is what mums do ! xxxxxxxxx

Took my car to the garage this morning as it's been leaking water. It needs a new radiator! But they couldn't get one until Monday. We have a wedding to go to tomorrow, so my first thought was how we gonna get there. (Walk). So I walked home from town which took about an hour. When Steve got home he decided the dog needs to go to the vet. Steve had to get into town for an appointment with the chiropractor so I had to walk the dog to the vet. Poor Coco half way there he layed down! I didn't think we would get to the vets. Vet said he was reluctant to leave Coco until next week and could I get Coco to the Animal hospital in the morning even though they were over booked already. He wants to scan him. Told me no food or water incase they have to opperate. So tomorrow we have to ballance getting Coco to the vet and leaving him there ( my friend is taking us) and getting to the wedding!! Then picking him up in the afternoon.

Thanks Ann I did figure it out.
Fighting the depths a bit, and as predicted I am already complaining aboiut the heat!!!! Last week cold and rainy and today shorts abound. Megan and I cut the front lawn and as a result she has gone to sleep.
I must ask a question here , and please give an honest answer. My daughter has always struggled with memory issues as a result of multi-seizuring as a child - but she usually bluffs well. She fights depression because she cannot take A/D's because they lower her seizure threshold, if she seizes she will lose her drivers lecence etc etc.
Yesterday she handed in her resugnation at work, which provided over 2 weeks notice, aa she has been offered a managerial position elsewhere, full-time, benefits, no weekends, all in all ideal for her situation. Her current boss took a strip off her, said she wouldn't accept a 2-week notice, and told her to leave immedeiately. While she was reaming her out, she stated that C always acts the part of a victim, and has huge memory problems. Last evening C was very upset over that comment, wondering if there is something wrong with her/us, that we are up-front about the issues with the kids. My feeling has always been that the more people know, the better protected the children are in the community. I don't think I fly the martyr flag. We have a lot of issues - FACT. I am open about them - FACT.
My intention has never been to have people feel sorry for me, it's cathartic in a way to write about things, particularly where one feels accepted. I see our issues as just the way it is, this is our life. We must just keep moving one foot in front of the other, and hopefully see the humour involved in some of our messy situations.
Please let me know if I have over-stepped, it's not my intenion to belittle other peoples problems. I am not sure here if I am just absorbing C's distress, or if I also am seen as someone who plays the victim.
C is now afraid to open up to her new employers for fear of creating the same scenario. She is so excited about this new job, so good in so many ways.
Back to my ice-pack on my head - the kids wrecked the screen for my front door, and in my wisdom I tried to walk through the empty frame and whalloped my noggin.
Mary

Funny how my week is planned out. Work Monday Tuesday Wednesday, Thursday have a mammograme appointment, Friday look for a bag for the wedding on Saturday, and Sunday back to visit Mum. When will I get the plants put in that I bought two weeks ago? The car was over heating today so needs taking in to be looked at. And I have the house to clean up. So why am I sat here on GR!!! Answer I enjoy it more than cleaning !! ;-)

Hi Mary

To put a photo on here. Go to your account and log in. You will see the blank 'head', near it you will see the word 'change'. Click on that, then click on 'file' this will take you into your own files, click on the file where your photos are stored on your computer ('my pictures or whatever), click on the picture you want and upload it as per instruction. When you go back on the board it should come up within a few minutes.

the slot to place your interests is also in your account.

Good job you can stay cheerful.

On Britain's got talent last night, among all the dire acts there was a young 11 year old boy who was autistic. He was an absolutely fantastic dancer, so light on his feet, part ballet and part modern. He told us that he'd originally worn splints on the backs of his legs because of his muscles and the fact that he walked on his toes. He then started to learn to dance and the dancing stretched his muscles to such an extent that he no longer wears splints and he walked perfectly. He said he lives to dance. He was such a happy child and a joy to watch.