General Chat

Wishing everyone a Happy Christmas and a Healthy New Year

Take Care all those I can call a friend thanks to GR

Linda xxx <3 <3 <3 :-) :-) :-)

Not been on for a long time but I wanted to wish you all a happy xmas and healthy 2012

love

kathy xxx

CHRISTMAS THOUGHTS

The following lines I send to you
To replace Christmas cards, I bought very few
I promised to pen a poem, just a few lines
But got carried away as you will find

To each of you I send Christmas greetings
For the festive season and family meetings
A Merry Christmas to one and all
To past members too numerous to recall

In March 2005 I cautiously set out
Searching G R but with many a doubt
To hopefully find a family line
For nearly three years I did fine

Then early 2008 my priorities veered
To a simple posting I was steered
A person, now a dear friend to all
Posted a message which I still recall

This person CAROL, named our thread
Depression and Anxiety which thousands have read
To this very day she stands to the fore
Frets a little when no postings, she deplores

Our thread, a salvation to those lost in the night
Who wearily seek for help in their plight
Many frightened to airs their woes
Scared that close family would get to know

Concerned, we listen to what they say
Be it for hours, could be many a day
Our fund of knowledge, we have all been there
We impart to them and offer our care

We must be doing something right
In our anxiety and depression fight
So many have stayed the test of time
Others have departed, feeling fine

To date our postings and replies total 9000 odd
A very impressive outcome from us bod's
Stand up and be counted, a gold medal indeed
Who gave their all even when themselves in need?

............................................................................................

Too often we underestimate the power of touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.
Magically we as a G R family have found this power to be there for the betterment of so many

My final message to all you lovely friends is for you to relax with your loved ones, to raise a toast to those we have sadly lost and to be good to each other.........


A very Merry Christmas and a peaceful New Year to you all

Joyce xxxx

Eileen I'm the same still have Deanna in my email address list. Some of her very funny emails in my inbox.

I'd like to wish you all a very happy Christmas and good health for the New Year.
Thank you for all the cards.

Special thoughts out to Dutches twin babies in hospital,

I haven't been on for a while but haven't time just now but wanted to wish you all a very Happy Christmas and all the Best for the new Year.

Caz x

Thank you Ann! What a year.....phew!

It is sooo difficult to get on to this thread, keep getting the 'error' message, which puts me off from adding to it.

Was planning to send as least cards as poss, thus only to family and very close friends, so only bought 2 boxes of 20 cards, but several GR and others send cards, so...... I also sent a card to Alan (Allan?) and Tony, Deanna's husband & son....I often think of her, can't bear to delete her mails/pm's....Lovely lady in every way.

Hope you all enjoy a really good festive time.

Eileen x

I hope that you can have a good christmas too Eileen and I do also hope that 2012 will be a much better, healthier and happier new year for you as well.

I would like to wish you all a very happy Christmas and an equally happy, healthy new year.May it bring peace of mind.

It has been an extremely tough, sad old year, will be glad when it is over, and hope things will look up in 2012.

Eileen x

You have a good christmas Hazel, enjoy your time with your daughter.

Just popped on here to wish you all a merry christmas.

Hope you can have a good one.

I am going to Teri(daughter) for a week, I am hoping she get her laptop she wants then i can pop on here while over there.

Hope you all have a good and safe one.

Thank you all for your suport and for helping me when i am low.And for making me laugh


Take care all of you

Hazelx

Liz, are the papers you saved ones with something specific in or just papers? Would you be able to make yourself tear out the relevant page (Or any page you like specifically) and save that and send the remainder for recycling? That would reduce the bulk. And as you have mentioned, they are a fire hazard so if somebody set fire to the papers they would take your valuable stuff with them. Could you get rid of the papers to save the rest I wonder? You really need somebody that you trust to go with you don't you?

Hi all

Sorry to hear few of you are very down hope you start feeling better soon.

With me its trying to cope with christmas i hate this time of year as wasnt a good time growing up. I am going to my daughters this year which i dont want to go,But its mainly for my grand children Caitlin,Arron,Savannah and Sian.Its going to be very hard for me to look happy and join in.But as when my children were small had to do it for them.

At least the twins are back home again from hospital now.They still have to have oxygen every 8 hours ,but they have that at home now.Just hope they get better from this Bronchiolitis,(never heard of it).They will have the cough for quite awhile the doctors said

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}for you all

Hazelx

Hi again, my counsellor seems to think my problems stem from my childhood when I was 'squashed' - wasn't allowed to be noisy or silly, and from an early age looked after my brothers a lot, as well as groomed to be a housewife. I was allowed out to play in the street but only after I had washed up after tea, whereas my brothers were out already, never had to do chores. Saturday mornings I would clean the living room after cleaning out the fire while mother was out shopping for groceries, father at work and I was watching my 2 younger brothers - I was the eldest. I also had to start the Saturday lunch while mother was out. I remember one day when my youngest bro lost his arrow from his little bow and arrow set, it went on top of the icecream van which drove away. Being the kind big sis I tried to make a new arrow from a stick but used the kitchen jacknife (potato peeler com all purpose knife). It slipped and I sliced a chunk from my finger, I have the scar to this day, and mum came home to find me with my finger under the cold tap bleeding away, she taped sticking plaster round it and it healed a bit lumpy. Lunch was late that day! I was never allowed to be the way I wanted, more so as I got older, wasn't allowed out as much as other girls till I got to about 17/18 and then everything I did upset my mother, she was such a worrier and I got so much flak from relatives when I finally left home for the summer to work in a holiday camp in Sussex. I had little guidance in how to use make up or dress in a modern way, my Mum seemed old compared to other Mums. She was in her early thirties when she had me after giving birth to my stillborn brother so I suppose there was a degree of anxiety there and she suffered from depression altho it wasn't treated or recognised, but I can see it now. I used to see her crying for her own mother who died when she was 16, and also for the life she might have had, if her fiance hadn't died of tb during the war. She met my Dad when he was on demob in Norfolk and they married about 8 weeks later, I assumed because he was then going back ot his home village near Buckingham, but maybe she was pregnant with my late brother. She had him at her m.i.l's house and the midwife told my Dad to bury the baby boy in the garden. Gran wasn't very sympathetic apparently so Mum and Dad decided to move back to Mum's home city where we lived thereafter with support from Mum's several brothers and sisters, Mum being the baby, the others were all grown up and most of them married when their Mum died.
My counsellor also thinks the loss of my own daughter affected me more than was realised and I know I have never got over the shock and heartbreak. She thinks I hold on to things because it's something I could control but now it's all out of control.

I went to my garage the other day, the one I had been reported for having it full of stuff. The woman I know from the Domestic violence group came with me and it helped a lot but when I opened it up, it's obvious that lots of things have been stoled. At least £500 worth of items at a glance and maybe more when I delve deeper at the back. Everything smells of sort of creosote smell, and I can't understand where it comes from. I have a lot of things that I want to keep (for example a nice old dressingtable I stripped and never got round to using but it was given me by my late Uncle so fond of it, it was in my bedroom as a teenager) A brand new expensive sink which I got in a sale for my kitchen, has gone and other similar things. I cleared a few bags of newspaper, and locked the door again, but at least I have made a start, the woman from the council was pressing me to do something before she was forced by her superior into taking legal steps. I am angry because they charge so much for the rent of these garages and this one is very close to my house so convenient, but they only use flimsy doorhandle locks. She has given me until the beginning of the month to make a start and a plan of action so I am going to have to use some 'proper' storage to put the valuable items in, as I can no longer risk theft or damage from mice etc as happened in anther garage I rented.
So that's the gist of my pressures at the mo, added to which I am not sleeping well due to the stress and the fm etc, and I have a lot to do for Christmas preps as o.h. leaves it all to me. His scrounging son is over from US from just before Christmas but luckily o.h. is working a lot all over the Christmas period so there won't be much time for him to have th son here, I can't stand him and he doesn't much like me, he knows I see right though his scrounging and charming, always have done so no love lost there. Roll on 3rd Jan when he goes back lol

My son is coming for Christmas day, but we have to fetch him so o.h. will go while I cook lunch, I won't have a lot of pressies this year to open as I told o.h. not buy me things for the sake of it, he really has no idea and one year I ended up with 5 different boxes of chocs, lol I know I have one big box of my favourites as I pointed out to him in Tescos that they were on special offer but I have asked for money towards some new boots I had to buy so that's better than more chocolate lol

I am hoping I can stay on top of the buying, I try to resist bargains and such and hope once I can sort out the storage place I can sort things into order instead of having stuff all over the place. The chap is trying to get me a discount and told me they have lots of people with my problem storing things there. One poor woman had to clear her house of papers and magazines as the council owned the flat and thought it a fire hazard. After a few weeks apparently she started travelling miles on the bus every day wih a shopping trolley and taking bundles of papers etc home again. Of course the council found out and made her store it again......

I wrote to Jasmine Harman when she did the prog with her mother and after a while I got a lovely response. She was inundated with replies from others like me and the people they live with too, and has started a website for us to try and help each other. She plans to do a further programme about it and invited me to get involved but there is no way I can have my problems aired nationwide, it's bad enough the people around me knowing and seeing but it would be mortifying for my son to have it on tv. I couldn't cope with it either but I will get involved with the website and will be happy to talk with Jasmine as long as I am not identified. Let's hope the programme shows how badly we people need help, it's just not available but if it's finally recognised as an illness, maybe more help will come along.

Counsellor today, maybe last one before Christmas and she isn't going to be around with MIND after Easter, her time there will be up. She might be going into private practice on her own later but I wouldn't be able to afford her. She has helped me talk through a lot of things tho so been worth seeing her and she has been the best one, after the timewasters in the past.

Better stop rambling,take care all

Lizxx

Thanks Carole for ther link, I am almost afraid to start LOL
Joyce how lovely to have you back, my spirits have lifted already with thoughts of Toby, the O2 tubing trailing for miles etc etc.
I have been so lazy this past week, Megan is currently clearing up around me so I suppose that means we are about to embark on setting up the Christmas tree.
A "new" second cousin I found on here recently has introduced me to Skype so I can have a video call with her at no charge (hope she doesn't call right now when I am still in my PJ's and prob hair on end). This is great, I have joined the new century!
I mentioned before that Meg's bf's father was having major surgery on Friday, unbelievably, minus one lung and several ribs, he was up the next morning walking around, gingerly but on his feet. Good on you Marcel.
Liz I can but send you hugs and support, sorry you feel the counsellor has reached her limit of assistance. Bless you, so strong for others, please try to look after you, or I am coming over with a prickly branch to spur you on. Seriously, do you have a clue as to where the issue originated? Please just try to take a small area, or a short time frame to clear, then give yourself permission to stop, then reapproach later. You know you won't want your son to deal with it, or Heaven forbid your OH. If things have value, real or sentimental, they deserve a home, if not they could go. from my limited understanding of the OCD issue (which my grandson now has as well) I just don't understand why we save things which are stashed away, so we can't even see them, and yes I do the same . . . . how can they be important when hidden away? I do it, but don't understand why I can't just let them go. Totally understand that your hoarding is at a different degree than mine, but regardless we are in this together and I wish I could come and help you.
OK Megan is urging me to move, she is very upset as she has misplaced her monthly drug benefit card and cannot fill her prescription till she finds it, I suspect she may have shredded it in her enthusiasm, she even shreds the newspapers,loves the shredder!!! We will have to go to the benefit office tomorrow to ask for a replacement card for december, the med is for anxiety and she certainly needs it filled.
Have a good day all, we are cold, a bit of snow on the ground but the house is warm, if I could just get the decorating done, would ratjher sleep . . .
Mary

Joyce how lovely to read your message. My Mum is 80 in Feb, would never look after my dog let alone walk it. Bless him he died in May. We miss him so much. He was a rescue dog and the most fun loving well behaved dog my oh and I have ever known.Toby always makes us smile, indeed laugh!! Mum is so negative in everything. To hear you say you may move to Devon amazes me. Good on you! Couldn't get my Mum to move five miles!! Sorry some of the horses are having problems it's always a worry when our beloved animals are hurting. I was upset to find in the British newspapers archives a 2X grt
grandfather who was a butcher was helping a friend move an animal pulling a heavy load by tying string around it's tounge. Rightfully he was prosecuted for for animal cruelty.

Liz sorry your hard work at counselling isn't having any effect. Just wondering, do you worry what other people think? I always worry what others think about me. I try to let others (my imagined) thoughts about me not bother me. But I'm sure it does make a difference.

I have started my Xmas cards but still have a bunch to write. The ones I have done are sat on the dining room table in piles, work, family I'll see, neighbours, need posting!

Joyce, how lovely to hear from you and what an adventure to look forward to, moving down to Devon. I think I would too given the chance, one of my favourite counties and the birth home of my OH.

Can just imagine Toby dancing for his meal, I am pleased that you still get to see him often, I expect he is too.

I suspect that she would be too frail but could your neighbour manage a portable oxygen canister. Our friend used to have a permanent one and a portable one. Possibly it would be too difficult for her to swap around though. I do remember his tube used to trail around the floor, the danger is that she may fall and hit her head. It is a worry for you I am sure.

I hope you subsequently managed to get some sleep, nothing worse than sleep deprivation.

Oh yes, please write a Christmas poem. :-) :-) <3

Hi Joyce, Caz, Carol, Mary and all

Sorry I haven't been around much of late, can't seem to find enthusiasm for much and have a lot of problems because of my hoarding. My counsellor is lovely but I don't think we can get further, she doesn't know how to stop me hoarding bless her and neither do I except I wish I didn't do it.

I think of you all often and wish I could help support you more, maybe one day I will have an epiphany and be able to right my own life, to leave me with time to help others.

Must get to bed, I hope we are going to Sheringham later today to a Christmas tree display in a church there, with craft stalls etc. Just a change of scene will be good and maybe a quick breath of sea air if it's not too cold will help too

lots of love to you all

Lizxxx

Morning folks, it would be a good morning if only I could sleep, a bit like the elusive Pimpernel it continues to evade me like the plague!...but at least I am in the company of many of my dearest friends on here, especially my little sis Caz xx....the idea spoken of you getting a mobility scooter sounds ideal but could you be trusted to steer clear of other human beings who might get in your way :-D I doubt it very much xx..I voiced the same thought to my daughter of getting one and she went into a bout of laughter! Mother she say's, I remember when you drove your car and ranted away at what you termed ' road hogs', at least you were passing them by and enclosed in a glass and metal framework! to go out on a scooter you would need at least body armour and a spear to protect yourself from angry pedestrians..maybe I will stick to being transported by taxi, my journey's only consist of going to doctor's or hospitals anyway...
I am so sorry that some of you are feeling rather down at the moment, tis what they call life which can be a trial at the best of times...right now my daughter is in Coventry helping to nurse two of her horses who are very poorly with hoove problems, an ongoing problem I'm afraid...we have also had a close death in the family, a divorce and a redundancy from employment, am wondering what is in store for us next!
Right now I am helping one of my neighbours who lives on her own, she is 92, very frail, walks with a zimmer and has an oxygen tube clipped into her nostrils, what scares the life out of me is that this cord, attached to a machine, stretches for miles and gets tangled around the zimmer, etc, yes she has fallen three times so far but is a stubborn biddy who refuses to go into a home, bless her....why am I helping her out you ask? well her own daughter tripped over this same cord and has injured her shoulder and arm and cannot visit...
Caz, as for you not writing out your Christmas cards yet well you are not alone, if and when you get around to doing so you can do mine also, he he xxx
As for Christmas I am not sure what is on the cards, my daughter's house is up for sale and she is moving down to Devon, short term to rent whilst she looks around for a place with stable facilities..I will probably follow her at a later date, god willing...yes I might be 80 but there is life in the old dog yet...
Toby, who I can longer take for walkies because my legs refuse to do what I tell them, now lives full time with my daughter who visits me at least four times a week, when he is due to visit I prepare his food bowl but leave it on the kitchen counter, why you ask? tis because he now has a party piece whereby finding no food he does a sort of 'war dance' around the lounge and hall until his bowl is put down for him...he is still the most loving animal you could wish for and just loves his cuddles...it was the best thing we every did in rescuing him from the dog's home xx
Right folks, whilst chatting to you I have drunk two cups of tea, popped my plls and been to the loo twice :-D...I am now about to retire once more and possibly dream of getting a ticket for breaking the speed limit on my local pavements!
I just might pen a Christmas poem to you all at a later date so just watch this space...for now take good care everyone..love xxxxxx

Joyce xx

Mary will email the link to you

Carole where do I find the link to British newspapers . . . .not that I have time to look at it LOL.
We have snow, not a lot, only a couple of inches, but I suppose I should head out a buy some winter boots!! I have been sitting ior sleeping all day, not an ounce of energy, seems this happens aboiut once a week, for no other reason than being tired. Body trying to catch up, been looking at the lounge andpositining the Christmas tree in my mind, but it`s not up yet. Somebody giver me a push, I have wasted the day as the kids are all staying upstairs to let me rest. Spending too much time pondering what could or should have been, rueing bad decisions, instead of letting it go.
Spent time crying over the photo of myself at 7 years with my parents and little brother, on the deck of the Queen Mary, as we left Southampton dock December 28, 1950. Little did we know what lay ahead and how our futures had been forever changed.
Now I am closing the computer and going out, whether I feel like it or not - have run out of one of my meds and it has been sitting awaiting my pickup at the shop for a few days. Perhaps that is contributing so I had better go and get it, and get back on track.
Try for a peaceful weekend everyone, special hugs where needed today.
Mary