General Chat

At last I have managed to get onto this thread, can't always get to the last posts for some reason.

Mary, I am glad you have your roof fixed now and glad you have found out about the carbon monoxide problem so that can be solved, we have alarms in case the gas fire makes problems but so far so good, old tho it is. It's our main source of heat and has been on for about four days non stop but does help keep the house less chilly as the heat can go up the open staircase to the landing etc

I thought you had a different bed ages ago, what happened to that one, surely not broken like the previous one. It would be so good for you to sleep well and comfortably.

Hope Megan will do well on the meds and life will be easier for her and you. I love the idea of the support of neighbours, a bit like what happened to the man hoarding in his house and garden, one chap started helping him and it started the ball rolling with others pitching in and realising he wasn't strange, just different, and that they quite liked him and were glad to join in and help him clear his garden and make his home better to live in. Hope they will do an update on his situation.

I have been given a month to clear the garage and the other one I have too, as they cottoned on to the fact I have two, one does have a car in but it's surrounded by other things so lots to do over the next few weeks. My son came with me to meet them so they could take a look, and he was supportive so hope we can do it together and get the things I want to keep moved to safer storage and get rid of the things I won't need.

Carole, hope Steve's leg mends soon and hope everyone has better luck and times this coming year. Coming up to my difficult time - my late daughter's birthday on Tuesday, the anniversary of her death on the 3rd and then o.h.'s birthday on Sunday 5th, have to make an effort to get up earlier than usual and go out somewhere with him, he wants to go to the coast where some old houses are due to be demolished before they fall into the sea. We have watched the coastline change due to erosion for the last 15 years and it will be sad to see the houses gone, one was a b and b and did nice afternoon teas and we had been there a few times.

Several places in Norfolk are changing like this, sad to see and the government won't pay for sea defences in all areas so villages are changing and people losing their homes, many holiday homes and permanent ones already gone over the edge.

Just hope the weather isn't too dire next weekend so we can get out to the coast without problems, he hates it if plans have to be changed and gets really stroppy.

Must get to bed so take care folks,

love

Lizxxx


p.s. Eileen, yes I did send my cards in time so not sure where yours was roaming lol glad it arrived eventually anyway so you knew I was thinking about you. Is anyone still in touch with our Gail in Aus?

Carole I hope Steve's ankle will heal up well, unlikely if he keeps pushing cars around!!
We have finally had a huge snowfall today, looks nice but the road is mighty slippery. Gareth had a whale of a time outside leaping off the swing into a snow pile. I drew the line at sledding down the 2-storey staircase outside!!
meg is finally responding to the escitalopram, unsure how it varies from plain citalopram, which I have been on for years myself, but it does seem to be working for her.
What a relief to have a new roof, I was shocked when the roofer told me they had removed up to 4 layers, including wood shingles which he thought were the originals from when the house was built in 1885. Now if we could just get the basement dried up, things would be better.
One inch at a time, baby steps. Next step, painting my bedroom and repairing the broken bed frame, tired of camping on the sofa.
Oh my goodness, snowmobiles are racing on our road!!
I am watching "million dollar neighbourhood", where an entire neighbourhood is jointly working towards debt reduction, at the end they hope to have 100,000 saved per family. This week they are all decluttering to have an enormous garage sale, which of course is stirring up emotions as people try to get rid of things, in a way similar to the hoarders programme. Quite emotional but certainly ringing a loud bell in my thinking. One thing I thought was brilliant is that they created a moral support group, whose members would assist people who were having emotion al distressw in sorting through items, such as a family who had lost a little boy at the age of 7. His toys were being sorted which was very distressing for the family, bless them. Seems to me, in the past 4 years, this thread has also been a moral support group for many of us.
Group hug.
mary :-)

Mary thats not good having CO in your house! Pleased it's fixed. Could be giving you all head aches and make you feel sleepy at best, at worst ..................OMG.

/Our winter has on the whole been very mild. We had a frost last night, the bird bath was frozen this morning. I wore my thick winter PJ's last night.

Took Mum out yesterday up in The Bail. She has been wanting to go since before Christmas. She had a big shop on cardigans, t shirts and a couple of necklaces. Then we drove down into town and spent some more! Had a quick bite to eat and back to my house. Then Hayley and James came and we all went out for tea. I was worn out, so at 80 Mum must have been.

Steve has been off work two weeks with a dislocated ankle which then caused problems with his knee. It didn't help on Fri getting the car stuck in mud and having to push while I was at the wheel. Thank goodness it was him that got us stuck in the mud!! A man came out of his house to see what all the noise was, and ended up towing us out of the muddy grass which was well churned up by now. Felt awful :-(

Mary thats not good having CO in your house! Pleased it's fixed. Could be giving you all head aches and make you feel sleepy at best, at worst ..................OMG.

/Our winter has on the whole been very mild. We had a frost last night, the bird bath was frozen this morning. I wore my thick winter PJ's last night.

Took Mum out yesterday up in The Bail. She has been wanting to go since before Christmas. She had a big shop on cardigans, t shirts and a couple of necklaces. Then we drove down into town and spent some more! Had a quick bite to eat and back to my house. Then Hayley and James came and we all went out for tea. I was worn out, so at 80 Mum must have been.

Steve has been off work two weeks with a dislocated ankle which then caused problems with his knee. It didn't help on Fri getting the car stuck in mud and having to push while I was at the wheel. Thank goodness it was him that got us stuck in the mud!! A man came out of his house to see what all the noise was, and ended up towing us out of the muddy grass which was well churned up by now. Felt awful :-(

FOUR years this thread has been going, thanks again to Carole!
I am watching snow fall, we have had a very peculiar winter thus far, loads of rain, a couple of good snowfalls, which have disappeared with the rain.
And very high winds. This was not the best time to have the roof replaced!
In completing the job, it was discovered that the vent for the water heaters was not working, and (CO) carbon monoxide has been venting into the cellar for who knows how long. The heater tanks are now closed off until they can either be re-vented or replaced.
I am wondering if the CO levels have caused any of the physical symptoms in those living in the house. I have been anxiety personified the past couple of days.
Please someone spirit me away to somewhere warmer.
have a good week and long may our thread continue!!
Mary :-)

Where has time flown to? I have been working extra days at work, and Steve is off work with ankle and knee injuries. He went over on his foot and damaged his ankle and knee over Christmas. Didn't realise what he had done at first, and kept going to work walking several miles a day on misplaced bones.
A very busy time with family just lately. Mum bought a device to amplify the voice of incoming calls to her phone. Useless in my opinion. I was there today when Steve phoned for me, I could hear him sat on Mums sofa, while Mum was next to me on a chair with the phone to her ear and couldn't hear him.
Anyone have any good ideas what to get to help Mum hear on the phone?
Daughter and partner looking to buy a house. They call a couple of times a week and show me places they like and want to go look round. Now they have been to see one and really like it, but hope to get the price down. Hope they can get it reduced, it does look nice.
Tonight Steve and I went to look round a nephews bachelor pad. It's a great little two bedroomed flat. Cost me a few quid as had gone without housewarming gift!! He'll be able to put the cash towards something he likes.
Well back to work in the morning after a lovely weekend. :-)

First of all I want to wish you all a (belated) happy, peaceful, healthy new year. Havn't been on GR much-again, but am kept very busy with piles of translation and a very difficult situation, for which it seems there is no quick soloution.It is terrible to have to just stand by and watch when one or more of your children are suffering so badly-mental stress being the worst part of this.
I decided to cut back on the amount of Christmas cards this year, only sent to family and close friends.Thought I would have enough with 40, but of course, you always get some after the festive season. I was gobsmacked to receive a card from Liz this morning.Can just about make out the date it was sent, 13th december if I am correct!!!!!!!!!!! A belated thank you Liz. I only sent a couple of GR members who sent me a card before the 25th. Am thinking of not sending any next year, instead give a donation to a charity close to my heart.

After reading a few posts here, it is clear that you are all suffering in different ways, some far worse than other. I hope you all can find peace of mind, if you-we-have that, we can bear the burdens that life throws at us a bit easier.

Eileen x

My dear Mary, I am so sorry you are suffering so much, and hope you can find some small moments of peace and rest. It's so bad that things have happened the way they have, and I hope your ex's wife will reconsider her attitude, maybe when she has had time to calm down C. can contact her and explain. After all, she is the one who should have sent birthday greetings altho I can understand why she was distracted and forgot to do so. I wonder if MiniMary can do anything to help, maybe to do the reminding for things like birthdays and even get the cards if her mum is too busy. It's too bad that her own ex has left her with so much to cope with in every way, I hope she will be able to prove she isn't responsible for the debt.

I hope Meg's boyfriend will help support her to go back to the doctor and get her medication changed so that she doesn't feel so unwell and will eat again and get stronger. She seemd to be doing so well so it must be heartbreaking to see her the way she is now.

You take care my friend, wish I could help you in some way, you are so often in my thoughts, as are all my friends on here. Big hugs, Mary. xxxx

Colin, good to see you posting and hope your year will be a peaceful pleasant time. I am glad you enjoyed lots of company at Christmas time and also that summer has arrived at last. Wish it was here too, so miserable and gloomy, wet and windy ugh!

lots of love to all

Lizxx

Nice to hear from you Colin, glad to have news from down under.
Liz what a mess, why does nastiness have to surface at what is supposed to be a happy time of year?
I have had a downer going the past 2 days after receiving a nasty email from my kids father's new wife, voicing anger at me and Colleen especially for not acknowledging C's father's 70th birthday last week. It hit me like a knife through my chest , tears started pouring and really are still on the surface. I am doubling up my citalopram for a few days to try and regain control. I had been so pleased that my ex and our kids were interacting again. Now his wife is angry, has blocked me from emailing her, has deleted me as a friend on FB etc. How can one discuss or apologise, if necessary, if all communication is cut off. I am so hurt, what she didn't know was that I had reminded Colleen umpteen times to call her father, but when she was arriving home from work at 1 am she was too tired, so I end up being the bad guy. With the usual money issues being further strained with the job situation, she hasn't had funds to send lots of parcels across Canada. C now states that her specialty is getting people mad at her.
Megan is a huge problem with her not eating much and weight still dangerously low. Her affect is flat, no emotion at all, spending hours at a time in her room, so this morning I took it upon myself to talk to the boyfriend who was very supportive on the phone. I suspect the new med chlomipramine is working in reverse. Because of her intellectual status it is almost impossible to hold an in-depth conversation with her as she just replies with "I didn't say that" or some other trite answer. I know she is tired of helping with the kids, all 3 adults in the house are tired, tired of the stress, tired of the tension, tired of putting on a happy face etc etc. There just doesn't seem to be any way out for any of us. We will be in the soup if Megan decided to move out with Danny. Then my job will increase.
To top everything off C has been notified that she is responsible for a huge loan her ex-husband took out 10 years ago. he was to pay it off when their house was sold, but instead he declared bankruptcy and the loan company is now coming after C, even though her name was never on the deed. ten years later, she is being chased for something he did.
Gareth is doing much better with the extra sedation, still travels everywhere waving a rope, like Sarah waving a white clothes hanger.
Sorry to ramble, thanks for listening, I don't have time for a 'breakdown', but could easily have one.
Mary

Hello all, just a brief note to say hello and "happy new year". And all the best for 2012. Summer is here at last, after a miserable December. Cold, and the wettest on record.

I enjoyed the poem Joyce, it says so much and all of it true.

Christmas was very nice- at the home of my 38 year old niece Bernadette, who I really don't know very well. Her mother was my sister and died when Bern was a baby. Her father was there, and nice to meet up with him again
I also got to see both sisters over the break. I picked up one of them at her s.i.l. and had her company for the trip, about 100 miles. In a lot of ways she is the normal one of the family, which makes her the odd one out I guess.

I gave the NYE fireworks a miss, and although I had not intended to stay up for midnight I was still awake when the noise began. Not sure where it was coming from, as I am well away from the harbour. Maybe they were at Olympic Park, which is not all that far from me.

I also think it strange that a doctor would recommend going off tablets so quickly, maybe he considers 40 to 20 to nothing as gradual enough.

Again, my best wishes for a good 2012 to you all. Hopefully, Mary, you will have some nice new teeth soon.

Hi folks, a belated Happy New Year to you all. Have problems getting on this thread a lot of the time hence not much posting, but I sneaked my way in this time by moving from groups of more pages to the next group and so on....... never mind if you don't follow me, it's just this silly site sometimes won't usually let me go to the latest page.

I had a chat with Kathy a little while ago, we have phone conversations in the wee small hours with o.h. asleep in the room above so I have to talk softly. Well that's not so bad but trying not to laugh out loud (lol) when Kathy was telling me about the meal on Sunday was a little more difficult. I did mention that a friend's Mum used to say that whatever you did on New Year's Day you would do all year so watch out for more of Kathy's cooking disasters lol (Only kidding Kathy xx)

I think the treatment is dreadful that Jamie is (not) getting, reminds me of when I tried to get help for my ocd in 1994 and still I am no further forward. I hope things work faster in Scotland. I think Jamie needs to see what his gp says before cutting back on the tablets. When I was put on Citalopram I had 40 mg tablets altho I didn't take them for more than six weeks as they weren't helping at all, I have tried various anti-ds over the years and not found much that helped me long term so prefer not to take anything now.

Things here are much the same, the scrounger son came over for Christmas courtesy of his father, mother and her partner paying the fare as he requested/demanded, pretty much fell out with his mother over Christmas (stayed three days, all of them) at his brother's house and got very indignant about the way her partner interacts with the baby niece of scrounger. Considering how much he has contributed to fares home and stuff for the baby over the past two years and how much he pays out for the mother to visit when she wants etc etc I think the scrounger should shut up. He doesn't know whether he will be able to stay in the US as his citizenship permit runs out in Feb I think if it's not made permanent and as he is no longer living with his wife who he married in June 2009, he looks as tho he will be in trouble. Don't want to see him back here tho as he causes bother when he is here, he wouldn't stay with him Mum cos 'she nagged him too much' so went to stay with his friend. O.h. took him out for lunch on Sunday (the only day he had off work after Tues 27th when he went to the brother's by train for the day and came back with the scrounger on the train, ostensibly so he could try and get out of him just what was happening in US and talk some sense into him), but all the scrounger did was complain because his brother had been sent abroad to work at short notice (part of his job and away for three weeks this time) and scrounger and my o.h. thought the brother should have told his boss he didn't want to go till later because the scrounger was here!! It meant that scrounger couldn't get to see his bro again before leaving the counry yesterday. The friend was asked by o.h. if scrounger was paying his way staying there for almost a week, the friend say Oh you know what he is like! in other words, no he was scrounging there as well.
Seems o.h. is thinking scrounger is the golden boy yet again and the other son with the baby is in the wrong for going away too soon - I tried to say he had to think about his job, but got told to mind my own business! I get totally ignored by the scrounger, no mention in the C.card, no pressie and the only pressie o.h. got from his was an obviously secondhand (damaged) photoframe with an old pic of scrounger and o.h. in, like we need yet another photo in frame from scrounger, he sent a similar gift two or three years ago, never anything really nice. O.h. says he will stick it upstairs in his dressing room as there's no space down in the lounge. O.h. has dozens of photos of the sons and him on the computer and in albums, he has been putting lots of old pics from his Dad's and such onto discs for the scrounger so he has them all in US so why he thinks his dad needs one more in a frame I don't know. The card was about two or three inches square, just a little ordinary one out of a box, not with Dad on, and the other son didn't bother either, said he was economising, which upset his dad a lot. Strange people, the lot of them.

Anyway I am hoping I can get the garage problem sorted out soon and start to get rid of some of my hoarded stuff and make progress this year. I am also hoping my son can find a job as that would be a worry off my mind

Let's hope we can all move forward in one way or another with our problems, and can report better things as the year progresses.

Mary, hope Colleen can find a new job soon, and that Megan's medication can be the right one for her. I wouldn't like to think she loses her nice boyfriend because she isn't being given the right meds to help her stay on an even keel, it's no fun for her or anyone if she is staying in her room and feeling down and certainly worrying for you.

lots of love to everyone and hope I can get back on here more often

Lizxx

Oh dear Kathy. I would say the only way is up now. Why did your nephew etc arrive. Did they invite themselves to lunch?

Happy New Year to you all .

Thanks Mary and Ann for your replies .I agree that it is not right that one consultant reverses the advise of the first .He has to see our GP and will ask what he suggests .

Couldn't post yesterday having had the worse family meal ever ( I will never live it down )
Realised too late that I had bought single cream instead of double after whisking for 2 hrs I gave up .Put too much water in my jelly so had to put it in the freezer to set .
Supposed to be a quiet meal just sister bros in law me and son .At the very minute I shouted food up my nephew his wife and 2 small children arrived !!!!

Starter and soup went ok but then to my horror when I carved the pork it was raw in the middle .Put oven on max and prayed it would work .Well it did but the plates and other things in the oven got burnt !!!!

All this time I am having to work around a german shepherd who kept following my cat not to mention 2 small children chasing the dog chasing the cat !!!!!

Everyone said the pork was fine and not to worry .

Final disaster was when I got the trifle from the fridge in the garage the jelly had melted and we had to drink our trifle !!!!

If that is typical of my year to come I think I will just hibernate now .

Kathy :-) xxx

Poor Coleen Mary, it sounds as if it will be a rest for her when the job finally closes. I do hope she can soon find another job.
Happy New Year to you.

Kathy, can you ask for another opinion for him? It doesn't sound right that one consultant says one thing and the next reverses it.

BTW, my apologies, Happy New Year to the wonderful participants on this thread. , I suppose we are all in 2012 now. I have decided that it cannot be worse than 2011, so up and at 'em. I have had the kids for 24 hours as Mum had to cover 3 shifts at the job which is ending on Friday. Seems everyone else at the job had made other plans as it's closing this week, leaving Colleen, as the supervisor, to cover when someone called in sick - or otherwise. So she spent NY eve alone. We ate ourselves silly, esp Gareth who didn't need it. He fell asleep clutching a slice of pizza, too cute, bolt upright sound asleep but couldn't let go of the pizza.

Kathy it is NOT a good idea to stop an anti-depressant cold turkey, any more than it would be started at the top dose. The adjustments must be gradual.
Being unfamiliar with the medical system there, I can't offer specific advice, but to only be on a med for a few weeks is useless in the longterm. generally it is an optimum situation to have counselling along with the med. Having said that, they must also find the right drug for the individual.

My daughter Megan who is somewhat challenged is currently on the third A/D and I am heading her to the dr this week to change it. yet again. prev ones made her manic, this one leaves her fading away, she has lost significant weight and despite being on a liquid supplement as well as eating, in 3 weeks she hasn't gained an ounce. Seems unable to make a decision about anything, constantly says she doesn't know what to do, where to start. Normally she would be chugging around at top speed attacking floors and dust, which haven't a chance usually under her watchful eye. Just sitting in her room all day, in other words the med seems to have made the situation worse.
Frustrating, but in your situation I would be very concerned that there is no follow-up or counselling offered. can you intervene?
Sending you hugs for strength.
Mary

Mary so sorry to hear about your dental problems .I have been there !!!!!!

My thread pals can I ask for advice please .

Son aged 22 at the end of his 3rd year at uni it then transpired he had stopped going 1 yr and a half before .In other words he hadn't even finished 2nd year .

Got him to GP who put him on 10 ml and waited for hospital appt. That took 2 mths and consultant told him to double the dose to 20 daily .He was only a locum at the hospital for 4 weeks so had to wait for an other appointment

Next appointment was on 20 dec with a different consultant who told him to reduce medication by half and be off by the middle of january . There has been no support guidance etc so I am worried that just stopping medicaton will be really bad for him .

Any thoughts or advice please

Kathy xxx

Sorry I have been AWOL for a week or so, my computer was damaged (stepped on, don't ask why it was on the floor) and I have ended up getting a new one. Behind on everything. Christmas wasn't perfect, far from it, but now we are on the path to a new year. My daughter's job is ending, the job she was so thrilled about, is ending. Not her fault, there is a prob with maintaining the funding for the centre. Hopefully we will see some light at the end of this new tunnel soon.
I distinguished myself the past 2 weeks by breaking no less than 3 teeth! two are especially charming being in the front . . . . now awaiting dental surgery under general anaesthetic, to remove 2 of them, I think I jinxed myself because, a few weeks ago, when I got my 2 hearing aids, I commented "now I am really an old lady - grey hair, glasses, hearing aids, now all I need is dentures". Now my teeth start breaking.
A 15 y/o girl who was a year ahead of miniMary in school last year, passed away last week of a vicious brain tumour. Apparently 2000 people attended between the visitation, funeral and mass. Poor, poor girl, the local kids are deeply affected, especially as it happened right before Christmas. Her family have been so strong the past 6 months, her younger sister is in our Sarah's class.

May I wish all my friends on here a happy new year, may we all find increased light shining into the dark pit with which we are all familiar.
Mary <3

ive not ben on here for a while and just wanna wish everyone a happy christmas

i have started with the panic attacks again for the past week or so im not sure cos its xmas and i find this time of year difficult or what but i am finding it hard to control my breathing

i have a stinking cold and a cough as well i just wanna scream lol
merry xmas

Wishing all my friends on this thread a lovely christmas. Joyce thanks for the poem, it is lovely and encapsulates the essence of this thread. <3 <3