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Benjamin
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12 Feb 2009 18:19 |
Hi
I am nearly 27. I will be 27 in July this year.
I am feeling a lot better today and the unwanted obsession is going. She is just a girl on a TV advert and is nothing. I will never recognise her or meet her in real life.
She was very skinny and had quite wavy hair and is not my type but why did I still obsess over her? She had a quite good looking face but that is it. Nothing more.
As I said, she probably has good points but she probably is just another woman who lets her 15 minutes of fame get to her head. She is nothing for me to obsess over though is there? I want to forget her totally now.
Ben
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Deanna
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12 Feb 2009 11:50 |
Carole... my boys are fine just now thank you. Tony is now able to do a good long walk and is not 'knocked out' by a little bit of work. I don't know how he would manage a full days work, but he is definitely getting better.
Allan and I are doing okay, as are you and everyone on here... we just keep on keeping on don't we? ;-0)
Everyone is in my thoughts even when I do not mention you.. and Ben, never judge a book by it's cover love. There are beautiful caring girls who are ..fat... thin.. medium... and just plain plain! The same goes the other way.... We just have to get to know people don't we?
Lots of love to all. Deanna XXX
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Carole
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12 Feb 2009 11:11 |
Ben can I ask how old you are? My son is 24 in July, and is so secretive I find it strange how open you are about this girl! Strange is the wrong word, just different from my son. Monday he took a girl to a hotel in scarborough for the night for her birthday. When I saw him next evening I asked if he was going out with her now. No he said. Strange relationship he has with her. She is beautiful and I know he likes her. She stayed at our house while we were away in Nov, (remember how clean my house was when I returned) and has stayed over night in his room a couple of times while we have been here. He tells me he slept on the floor. Like I'm stupid! She works with him so no wonder he likes his job!
Ben do you live with your parents? Do you talk to them, or people at work like you talk to us? I understand what you mean about if you got pleasure from thinking of this girl, but you don't. It's strange how our brains run away with somethings. Why do I ocd about going to the loo? I hate it. It makes me worry and feel stressed,at times I should be able to go out without this problem. Mary when you said you lived near Niagara and could meet me,I panicked but tried to stay calm and then tried to get out of it saying I wasn't sure if I'd get there. But it was a great day and I really enjoyed meeting you. But now Allison, I find es on the other side of the same city as me, and both of us say we will get together in the future! That will be a miracle as we will both be running to the loo. Perhaps we should sit in cubicles next to each other!!
Liz haven't seen you for a while hope you are okay xx
Mary no wonder you picked up the virus you do too much and will be low on anti immunity whats its. xx How did grandfather enjoy his visit with you all?
Eileen love the thought of you all sat singing children's songs. Nice to see you here. How did you feel posting after not doing so for a while ( as you said) did you worry? No need to you know xxx
Ann has your snow gone now? xx
Deanna how is your oh and son you haven't told us lately xx
Wonder how Elaine is,remember her oh had the heart op last year. Haven't seen her for a long time. Love to Elaine if she looks in xx
Betty how are you all? xx Miss you
Caz any improvement with the horrible infection yet. xx
Gail hope you are managing to stay cool! Are your chickens okay, and what about your dog? My dog is very uncomfortable in the heat. xxx Have you heard from your daughter ?
Colin hope your family and friends are all safe. x
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Claddagh
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12 Feb 2009 10:42 |
My goodness Mary, it never rains but pours for you. Did the paternal grandad last out long enough to finish the meal?
Thanks for the answer to my question about the quote Ann. My aunty always knew things like that, I still miss not being able to ask her, and tell her things, she could always offer good advice.
I don't think I mentioned the car accident my g.son Doulgas's best friend Teun had in Mexico about two weeks ago, or did I? Scarey to say the least.
Sunny again today, it makes the heavy burden you have to carry, much lighter somehow, doesn't it?
I wish you all a good day,with a lot of smiles, when possible.
Eileen xx
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maxiMary
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11 Feb 2009 22:00 |
Busy, busy week I've had, worked 5 days in a row, unheard of for me, pretty well knackered, all 4 kids have been ill the last few days, nausea, vomiting, sleeping, weak, sore throats, giddy etc etc. last night Colleen came down with it and today miniMary and I are under the weather. I had to miss a retirement luncheon today, for another nurse withom I've worked for over 20 years. Then Gareth distinguished himself this morning by having a seizure at school. MiniMary fell down the bottom of the stairs a couple of days ago and has hurt her back. Today's her 12th b'day and she's lying on the sofa, feeling rotten. So I bought a choc/white cookie & icecream cake (her favourite) hopefully to produce a smile. They have their paternal grandad (who has alzheimers) here for supper, he'll be bored silly in an hour and will insist on going home to the Home he lives in, whether supper is finished or not!! Pizza and chicken wings for supper tonight, how nourishing LOL. Grandad loves Hawaiian pizza (ham, cheese,onions and pineapple) so we order one for him to keep him eating for a while LOL
Thank you for the encouraging comments about little Owain, he is beautiful, but they live 7 hours from here. Colleen goes back to Kingston from Thursday to Saturday, so will make a side trip to visit this weekend before she returns from Kingston. Out of the way, but she's desperate to hug him.
We've had rain for the past 24 hours so the grass is almost completely cleared of snow. it's above freezing so it's almost warm. The cellar is still sodden but improved, the smell of dank stone should abate soon. Off to get the party table ready now, 'see' you all tomorrow. Mary
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AnninGlos
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11 Feb 2009 21:34 |
You are getting there Ben, well done, she doesn't sound your type at all does she?
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Benjamin
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11 Feb 2009 21:15 |
Hi
I know a lot of Londoners who are ashamed to be so because of the way that crime has risen and traffic. I know a Londoner who is quite ashamed to be one and he called any loudmouth Londoners as typical ones so he has dropped his London birthplace and adopted Norfolk where he lives.
This girl in this ad was quite good looking and skinny but not a stunner and her hair was wavy and a bit unkempt whereas I like girls with straight hair. I am feeling better now but you cannot control who you develop an unwanted obsession over. Hopefully it will lift tomorrow. I did feel better today but I still need to get over the final hurdle.
I think that cute girls are better as they are gentler and they arent fat but have a little bit more bulk to them which is probably more natural looking than a really skinny girl.
Ben
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AnninGlos
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11 Feb 2009 21:02 |
Ben, I suspect very few celebrities were actually born in London. And, nice though Londoners are, there is nothing special about being born in London, as you know yourself. to me London is lovely for a day trip but i couldn't cope with the noise and people, most of whom of course are visitors not Londoners.
Eileen, I looked up the quote for you, see previous post, good to see you on here, not had a PM from you for ages and was beginning to wonder if you were OK, especially as you had 'the letter' to open. glad you have got that over with anyway and survived! Your weekend sounded hectic, but I can tell you enjoyed it really with seeing all the family etc.
Alison, glad you survived moderation without too many problems and that the medication is working for you. the flowery wellies sound very smart!!!!
Carole, at least you have a name for it now ad have people you can compare with on this thread.
Gail, hi, we are getting the pictures from Victoria over here, they are horrendous, te poor people.
Ann Glos
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AnninGlos
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11 Feb 2009 20:49 |
Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous pronouncement, made in the midst of the Great Depression:‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.’
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Alison
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11 Feb 2009 19:33 |
Sorry forgot to mention Ben. I've never known anyone with ocd or at least no one has admitted to me they suffer with ocd, I admire how open you are and think it's fantastic that you have such a great support network on here. I hope the suggestions given to you help with your obsession about the advert girl xx
Alison xxx
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Alison
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11 Feb 2009 19:30 |
Evening everyone, I hope no one is suffering in the floods which have been affecting parts of the country or the snow still affecting other parts.
Mary I'm so sorry to hear about you great-nephew, he is beautiful and he is special but I know right now the shock of his Down's will be weighing very heavily on your mind. When my g-n was born we were told she had Down's, because there had been no mention of any problems during pregnancy we were all devastated with no time to prepare ourselves for the possibilities. After her chromosome tests came back we found she didn't have Downs but had congenital CMV which held it own problems. She is so special and even more so because even with her health problems she is still a little imp. I hope your nephew will thrive with all the love I'm sure your family will give him xx
Caz I'm so sorry to hear you're still in so much pain xx
Deanna you should be so proud of your achievements after your stroke. I know how difficult it is to get back to 'normal'. My brother was told after his to expect mood swings which are totally understandable after the beating your body has taken. My thoughts are with you after the loss of your friend xx
Gail I'm so pleased you and your family are safe in Oz. It must be a living nightmare at the moment living with the threat of fire, I'm glad the conditions near you have improved and pray there will soon be an end to the suffering of our Australian cousins. xx
Kathy I had to laugh at you 'trip' to Asda, I could visualise your relief. I don't recommend wearing slimming pants for exactly this reason, they are too damned hard to get out of if you get caught short! xx
Carole sorry to hear you're full of cold but please keep it downhill, thanks xx lol
Liz I hope someone manages to rustle up some clean knickers for you xx
I've been to the doctor's and have got my second months supply of citalopram and they are really pleased with how I'm going on them. Heck I'm really pleased how I'm going with them! We had moderation at school which would normally mean panic attacks and numerous trips to the toilet as well as having to take Immodium, I didn't feel wonderful by any stretch of the imagination but I coped and although I felt very close to falling over the edge again I hung on and kept going. I've enjoyed the snow these past couple of weeks but don't enjoy the ice, I've been looking very fetching walking to work in my flowery wellies.
Alison xxx
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Benjamin
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11 Feb 2009 18:19 |
Hi
The OCD obsession about this non entity girl is an unwanted obsession. If I fancied her I would get pleasure out of it but I keep ruminating and worrying about it. Last night I only ate half my dinner as I felt like I was going to vomit. She is probably not as clean as she looks on the TV and that small bit of fame that she has may have turned her a bit nasty like it can do with celebs. Most celebs are not nice people and that includes minor ones.
Hardly anything is mentioned about her on the internet. I kept having obsessions about where she was born and things like that which make me feel really ill. Why am I obsessing about things like that. I love London and Londoners but I get unwanted jealousy about some people who were born in London. That is a weird obsession. This girl probably wasn't born in London. Is there anything special about being born in London?
When I found out 5 years ago that I was of London descent I was well pleased but now for the past year or so I get unwanted ruminations about London born people. Its not callous jealousy, it is unwanted jealousy where I dont want to be jealous.
Ben
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Claddagh
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11 Feb 2009 14:23 |
Good afternoon everyone,
Sorry for not posting for so long, I just have not been able to settle to anything lately, not even watch t.v at all.concentration problems, which I know are due to the stress of certain things.
I did feel a bit under pressure Ann, but that turned out not to be as bad as it could have been.Mary, my heart goes out to you, all 'special' children are just that, but, knowing quite a few parents in the same position, they all worry about what the future will hold. Carole, yes, THE letter has been opened with eyes and fingers crossed, it was every bit as bad as I knew it would be. Deanna, sorry to hear about your friend Jill.You don't have to actually see someone in the flesh to care a lot about them.Hope you yourself are feeling less weepy soon.This is def. something that can happen after a serious illness. Caz.Hope your back pain eases up very soon.That salivary gland trouble sounds very painful.Also hope you can get a good night's sleep soon. Thanks for your p.m Claire and also for posting for Caz,.This thread is such a good one, all care about each other and there's no nastiness at all. Colin, yes, it IS great to know why you have been feeling so ill and that something can be done about it.I am blessed in that way. Does anyone know who said "the thing we fear most is fear itself", or words to that effect? This is oh so true.....
Betty, nice to see you back on the thread.
What a weekend. My daughter and her little family came on saturday, her partner went back to Amsterdam, leaving her her with the little ones, who were cranky, after their stay in Germany with family, probably because they were not in their own environment.Daughter Fiona came at the same time with her son Zachaar.All stayed over, Fiona going home next evening.My favourite s.i.l came on sunday for a few hours, which was really nice, then my ex. came to dinner with Sarah & kiddies and myself, this was also very nice and relaxed.We ended up singing Dutch children's songs, then he and Sarah singing some German ones from a book she was given in Germany. I went back with her next day, but that was a really tiring, fraught day.Phew, I was glad to get back home.I was travelling for over 5 and a half hours altogether.If you saw what she had with her...and that all had to go in the train, plus two kiddies....need I say more?
It sounds very hairy where you live Gail, terrifying is maybe a better word.
Anyway, on to the new stage, must really try to be think more positively.
To all of you who I haven't mentioned and those I did, hope you all have a peaceful evening and week. with no pain, if that is possible.
Love. Eileen xx
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GranOfOzRubySlippers
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11 Feb 2009 07:53 |
Carole, welcome to the ocd club. Never give it capitals, if you keep it small it will stay that way.
Gail
Kathy you gave me a great giggle with your little trip. Carole love the rotten teeth bit. How about loads of zits as well.
;-)))
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Carole
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11 Feb 2009 07:38 |
Ben how about when she smiles at you she has rotten teeth. You get close to her and she smells. You don't want to think of her then. Hope this helps! Just trying to think of ways for you to be put off her. Gail is right you are noticing when you have these (what do you call them) before they get too set in your head.
Wish I could say the same for me, in a letter from pychologist to my doctor of which I got a copy, my prpblem was called OCD. Ohhh now we have a slot to put it in!! Well will look in on you all when I get home from work, which is local again today.
Dutch many thanks for the card xxx
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GranOfOzRubySlippers
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11 Feb 2009 07:06 |
Ben a big pat on the back for you. You are starting to recognise a lot earlier that you are doing this. It is progress for you so be glad of that. Also that you are noticing is really great. If you were not noticing, then there would be a bigger problem. Try and let it go a bit at a time, rather all at once. Give yourself time things will get better.
Gail
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AnninGlos
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10 Feb 2009 21:22 |
Ben, you probably wouldn't recognize her if you saw her in real life. think of her as a cartoon character, fiction, not real. But then, if you are not ruminating over her you will find something else. Have you tried visualisation methods. i.e. every time she pops into your mind immediately think of .... whatever you have previously determined. A flower, see its colour, each petal, count them, smell it etc. Or a place try and make it so whatever you have pre determined overrides 'her'.
ann Glos
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Benjamin
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10 Feb 2009 21:16 |
HI Ann
She is quite young, about 20 or 21. She had pretty untidy hair though, that is all I say on her. I dont think about it the way a non sufferer would do though. I worry and ruminate over her. This is not normal in my opinion as if it was a normal crush I'd get pleasure out of it but I worry, fret and ruminate. I know it will pass but I want it to pas quicker. As i said the ad is probably a lot of makeup and lighting and wizardry. There is virtually nothing about her on Google so she was just in an advert. She isnt a famous or well known girl, just a very minor actress on a TV advert.
Ben
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AnninGlos
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10 Feb 2009 20:57 |
Ben, not sure what to suggest but maybe talking it out on here will help. Would it help to describe her instead of trying not to think about her. maybe you will talk it away then. Was she pretty? young? have you seen her before? I think most people who don't suffer from OCD would think about somebody they see and fancy and not worry about it so maybe if you just think that what you are thinking is normal that will help.
ann Glos
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Benjamin
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10 Feb 2009 18:14 |
Hi
No it was alright. The person who nominated me for an award on this site posted it in the wrong place and the mods explained to her to post the relevant nomination.
However, I have been unwantedly obsessing again lately. It is over a girl that I have seen in an advert. I cant stop thinking about her and it is making me quite anxious. I want to forget her but my OCD keeps making me ruminate over her. I do know that most TV adverts involve computer wizadry so how do I know that what I see on the advert is real??. I sometimes have these bouts but it has ruined my past 2 days.
I am not certain that she will ever appear on TV again as it may have been a once in a lifetime opportunity. I know that in real life a lot of TV stars and small time actors/actresses arent very nice people but I am obsessing over her and I want to get rid of the thoughts.
Ben
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