General Chat

Hi Ann

1858. Say if a groom and bride came from Essex, one of the spouses set up temporary residence in London so they could wed at their chosen London church and the other travelled to London to marry, wouldn't it make sense for the one travelling up to actually stay a night or two in London?

George Ferguson and Caroline Quilter both usually lived in Leigh, Essex but they wed in London. George set up a temporary residence in St George In The East, the church they wed at. Caroline said on the cert that she was of Leigh, Essex. They wed on 15 Sep 1858 at St George In The East. I would have thought that she stayed in London for a short while either side of the wedding perhaps the night before then the night afterwards at the grooms temporary address.

They both did return to Leigh on Sea as George died there in 1860 and Caroline is on the 1861 census at Leigh a widow living back with her parents Nathan and Elizabeth Quilter.

What year are you talking about Ben, it would have taken longer if it was horse drawn transport. I would not have though they would ahve been able to get married then travel 40+ miles.

Hi all

I have a question regarding ancestors who wed away from their home parishes?

If a couple decided to wed away from their home parish, if one of them set up a temporary residence in the parish and the other spouse stayed at their usual residence, come the wedding day itself when the one who stayed at the usual parish travelled to the church to marry, if they travelled some distance wouldn't it be customary for them to stay in the parish for a couple of days before heading back to the usual residence one marrying?

I think Victorian weddings took place before noon. It would seem odd for the spouse to travel say 40 miles to marry then return to their home parish the same day after the wedding ceremony. The one who travelled would have to spend a night of two in the parish of marrying wouldn't they?

40 miles in Victorian times was quite a way and must have taken a few hours on a train or cart. If the wedding happened in the morning and one spouse had to travel a distance to get wed wouldn't it make more sense to arrive at the parish the day before?

Ben

Morning,Carole Tink I am here, reading, but only a few secs at a time the last 2 days, had S&G most of the day and one cannot sit down and relax , or a crisis erupts. yesterday I was upstairs in C's flat most of the day, G was left alone for 5 mins while his Mum came down here for something. We heard odd noise and megan ran up to find all C's glass dishes(which were stored way high in a cupboard because she can't dare use them) in millions of pieces on the floor, counter, coils on her stove, in the laundry basket,s etc etc. This, added to the fact that she has no dishes for eating left, he's been awful this past week, throwing everything he can get his hands on when you look away for a second, most happened while the meal dishes were being washed. So Em and I went out yesterday afternoon and bought some plastic dishes (C had some which she uses for Gareth but now everyone has to use plastic.) The cleanup was unbelievable, and several cuts to hands and feet later (brilliant - wear open sandals when sweeping up glass) and several hours, it's now safe again.
I have to work this evening and Sat/Sun, but then I am retiring, becoming 'casual' staff and will start receiving my pension as of sept 1st.
43 years , that's how long I've worked, I wish there were 43 years left for retirement !! I have so much to do. . . .
Our family fun day is Monday in Toronto, looking forward to it - especially if G behaves. My s-i-l is not used to having full dishes of food swept off a table! The kids are going to a new school starting sept 8th, I am really worried G will be expelled before the first week is out. Not a joke, he can be so sweet but the other side really frightens me, it's like he builds up a rage and cannot control himself, immediately stops, looks shocked and says "sorry". Hitting at times, has now started banging his head on the wall, broke a full-length mirror at the therapy centre this week, they have 2 therapists with him now, instead of one. I am baffled, is it seizure-related, is it absent-father-related, is it lack of school routine, is it food-related, because he frequently loses control of his digestive system also, I just don't know what to think. he's getting harder and harder to control for me physically, where is his dog . . . . .
Have to run now, more fabric to pick up from Kijiji.
Hugs all round, sorry to rant, I've been fighting a downer all week, feel like I could burst into tears any second . . . be good to yourselves.
mary

We make a right pair don't we Hazel, hope you get to your daughters, I can hardly get to the kitchen let alone go out.
Just came back to say to Claire that the bank man was the financial adviser, we had the money from the house split into different high interest accounts and he came all the way to my flat for my signature with it being in our joint account.

Caz xx

Just sending you a very big soft {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]Caz

My knee is playing me up today keeps giving way. I need to go over to my daugthers so lets hope i get there ok.

You take care.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}to anyone else who needs one.

Hazelx

Hello Everyone, I haven't been on much lately but have been reading.Trouble is I am falling asleep all the time, I am so tired and the smallest jobs take me ages and I am exhausted at the end of it. Those who e-mailed me, I will get round to answering you when I can, I haven't forgotten.
Going to spend day laid on bed with my feet up, I had an accident yesterday when my knee gave way, I crashed down on worktop with both elbows and nearly hit my face on it. I have tennis elbow in both arms so they don't feel very nice just now. It went again this morning and I just stopped myself from falling, so doing nothing but restiing today.
Hands are bad again with arthritis so will finish now, but I still think of you every day even though I don't write on thread.

Love and huga to all.

Caz xx

Vods if you cant drink because of chemo isn't that a problem!! lol. Good to see there is posibly a solution on the horizon x

Claire hope your visit to the back man/woman helped xx

Ann it's nice to be missed isn't it xx

Deanna have you learnt how to use you new camera ? xx

Where is Maxi Mary? xx

Eileen lovely to have you pop in xx

Hazel I'm so sorry to hear your dear son might be loosing sight in his eye. It must be an awful worry for all of you, I hope they are wrong xx

Caz thinking of you as always xx

Liz when is G at the music festival? xx

Sharon thinking of you and your family xx

Heck who have I missed? Dutch !! Oh seemed to be in a mood last night when I got home from the hospital. He said you had called, but I didn't feel like calling you back. Would have done if he hadn't been there! xx

Dad has been blocked from going home by the physio and when Mum tried to get him up I could see why. He is so weak. Intermediate care lady came to see how Mum would manage and was impressed, but said they could only provide care at home twice a day until Thursday. Then it will have to be Home care from SS. Thats ok but Mum needs to get him on the loo inbetween visits from them. Poor Dad looks so frail when they move him, but it was lovely to see him sat in a chair instead of in bed, where he has been for the last six weeks. Going again this afternoon to meet physio and see what she has to say now.

Claire, I am here, been reading the thread but not posting, kept meaning to go back to it and forgetting.

Vods, sorry you had a bad time and were feeling low - I knew what you meant about the pub lol!!! at least one good thing came out of it, you came back on here.

Deanna, how are you getting on with the camera? Taken any good photos?

Liz, free strawberries, lucky you - two lots too!!!

Mary. glad the bag project is coming on well, she is a little worker isn't she?

Carole, hazel and anyone else I have missed hope you are OK.

Ann
glos xx

lol vods, I got the picture you were not drinking cos of medication.
C x

CAN I JUST SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT LOL

I AM NOT FIGHTING A DRINK PROBLEM!!!!

I JUST CAN'T DRINK THESE DAYS, EVER SINCE MY CHEMO.

HAD MY FIRST DRINK IN THREE YEARS A FEW WEEKS AGO, AND I SUFFERED THE NEXT DAY.

IT WAS JUST THE WAY I WAS FEELING THAT MADE THE THOUGHT OF GOING INTO THE PUB COME INTO MY MIND, NOTHING ELSE.

Thank you Sharron, Tinkerbell, Clairejo, Treehunter & co for your support.
I am feeling better about the situation now, as there may be a solution on the horizon.

Treehunter. I hope you manage to get to Kew.
How sad that your son is losong his sight, but sending positive thoughts that something can be done to help him.

Big{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you. :o))))

Hi

I havent on here much. Sorry to here you are so down Vods here is a big {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}]for you.

I am in alot of pain today i was going to go to Kew but was told last nite that ancestry wouldnt be avaiable today, Then when i tried to get out of bed this morning my legs wouldnt work. But got going now. But still in alot of pain.

Also been worrying about my son who has got the new lttle baby boy Arron,My son maybe going blind. He is ungoing test and hoping its not going to be as bad as first was told, He is blind in one eye already.

The colour bit of his eye has split said its very fin. May have to have a transplant.

Will know no more until results of all test have been done and are back.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}]to all

Hazelx

Hello everyone,

Haven't been on this thread for ages.Mea Culpa.

Am finding it difficult to pick up again from where I was before going to Ireland, as I left my heart there.Coming back was worse this time.

Even though I don't post, I DO think about you all and hope everyone is as well as possible. Will start reading the messages soon.

Eileen x

Good on you Vods for resisting the pub. Don't know what to say about the other situation but it sounds like the mum is doing a great job and everyone is aware of what a div the cokehead is.
Where is Ann in Glos, are you ok Ann?
Eileen are you back yet, thanks for the postcard, it brightened up my day.
Sharron, is your Dad ok now, you were waiting on nurse to call for his cathetor and it sounded like you needed a break with all the illness in your family.
Where are you Lily. I am sorry I have'nt been in touch, next thursday promise i'll send you a message.
Caz, hope the bank man comes soon and you can get a bit of shut eye xx
Love to everyone I have'nt mentioned by name.

Off to see an Oesteopath soon, my back is done in with lifting P all the time so going to make this a regular visit in the future, not cheap but it will be well worth it.Appt is for 12.40 so if you ring Carole thats were I am I know I said i'd be in then but should not be out for long. P at playscheme V at my Dad's I am off for a bath on my OWN, yey if the kids are in the house when I bathe then they both strip off asnd join me, not very relaxing and they splash me!!
Love to you all
Claire

Vods,you are so strong and you don't realize.How easy it would have been to go into that pub but you didn't.
YOU ARE AMAZING, WOMAN!

You are doing everything you should to beat this thing.
ALL POWER TO YOU!

Hi Vods, sorry you are feeling so low. It must have been upsetting to witness all this going on. Are they neighbours or family? Hope all works out well for them soon. What a shame your trip to bring back memories was a disater. I also did that when I went to see where my grandparents had lived. Found a one way road system I didn't know and the houses were a mess. Not quite the rosy image I had had. Their once small circular front lawn, was now an over grown nothing. You go home feeling let down don't you. One place that hasn't changed is here, we are all happy to see old posters back again. Try to treat yourself to something nice. A walk in a park, a cake, it dosen't have to be expensive. All this rain you could go jumping in puddles with the kids. Take care xx

Mini Marys bags are going to be a great help and teach her you have to work hard to get what you need. A good lesson to learn young. What a thoughfull hard working kid she is. Have a wonderful time with your family Mary you deserve it xx

Deanna are you keeping notes? Or is your memory a mini computer? You are great remembering all the people you add to your post. Have fun with your new camera xx

Liz the garden visit sounds lovely. And all those free strawberies xx

Sharron hope you have got dad sorted out. How nice to have a new car. xx

Love and hugs to you all xx

I know it is a while since I have added to this thread, but I really am so down.
On Saturday I smashed my crockery, and was so down, I put my coat on and jumped on a bus to where I was born. I hoped it would jog my memory of good times, and make me feel better, but it is so run down it instead depressed me.
I decided to get on a bus out of the area, when I spotted someone sitting in a pub that I knew. He was sitting at the window, and I nearly walked into the pub, but knew that would be a wrong move, as I can't drink with my medication, but I was soooooooo tempted. If I had gone into the pub, I would've been there till the early hours of the morney.
I came home on two busses and sat all night, neither seeing or speaking to anyone, and was so so low.

And all this was caused by a mean and miserable self centred. coke user who thinks he is a better father FFS How can that be?????????????????

He marched his kid into a police shop as the kids mum was 5mins in getting home for him So his father thought he had the right to report her to the police. He told the kid he would be taken into care.
The police told him it was a domestic and they wouldn't get involved. So he had basically made himself look a right prat.

The police had filed a report to the Social Servies, but no action was to be taken against the mother, who had her eldest lad with her at the time.
The SS did advise the mother to stop all contact between father & son, as the father is an unstable character, as he is a coak user, and also his housemate is a alcoholic/bipolar coak user.

The oldest lad who isn't his, and has autism was so upset, the police were going to take him & his brother into care. B£S=£RD!!!!!!

Sorry, but I just have to let off steam about it.

Social Services involved in the passed, and they know the kids are well looked after. Just a coke head wanting to play daddy when he feels like it.

Take Care all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~VODS~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#

Hey Deanna, I got a small new camera a couple of weeks ago - but insisted on bigger buttons than the first one I saw, not sure my fingers could hit just one tiny key. Colleen's cell phone has tiny buttons too, there's no way i could focus to text LOL, I had to have bigger buttons on the phone too.
This aging business . . . .
Carole glad to hear positive things about your Dad. Your Mum will soon get used to the frequent visits, and it will allow him to be at home without all the work on her, which should be a mood improver.
I decided to make a casserole supper tonight to clear the frig, 'cabbage roll casserole' without the 'rolls'. Forgot it would also heat the kitchen.
Got my keyboard fairly clean from the powdered creamer mix, but the floor is still sticky, figure it'll be more ready to wash once they are all asleep, which I hope will be earlier than last night!
Mary's bag project is moving along, a lady we met recently has decided she wants to help her and has been ordering fabric from eBay for miniMary. Another lady has donated reels of thread (gosh it';s expensive now), which was a help. We are all set for about 150bags, which will be helpful.
I'll be ghlad when the weather cools down a bit, it's so steamy, too hot to work outside.
Carole glad to hear you sounding some better, Deanna, when are you going to learn to pace yourself, Joyce, please look after you, Liz, what can I say, hope you'll find somewhere nice to land for your holiday. I'm ready for another one. LOL.

We're having a family fun day with my brother and his offsprings, there will be 20 of us. Once upon a time there was only my brother and me. if my son's g'friend comes too there will be 21.
Have to run,
hugs,
Mary

AND I START AGAIN.................ARGHhhhh!

Carole I am so glad to hear about your dad coming home. He will come on in leaps and bounds when he gets home.
I understand completely how your parents feel. So hard being apart after all those years together. Bless them.X

Sharron, One fine day all will go well for you, and you will wonder WHY! ha ha ha
We have all been there, haven't we?
Things will get better, I'm sure.
PLUS.... Carole will forgive you for feeling the way you.... you are not being selfish.... you are being human love, chin up. X

JOYCE...... F.G.S..... you have had weeks to be ill, and you do it NOW?
I ask yah..... ;-0)
The baby you can see next week, this week... if you do get sick, look after Joyce. X

High David, you okay these days?
I hope so. X

Liz, I PM'd you.. what a pain in the *whatsit* that is... poor you... I was going to say, 'put your foot down' but .... *put your foot UP seems better advice. ;-0)

Well folks I just told Liz, I have been out with my son... lovely day we had.
He does make me laugh my son.
I got a nice camera. Not the type I wanted because Tony pointed out, quite rightly, that it would be too heavy for me, and I would not be able to take it everywhere.
SO, he suggested a smaller, lighter one.
I am sooooo thrilled with it.
I am such a lucky woman really.

Good night all, I will see you again, but I have a camera manual to read. ;-0)

Lots of love to ALL, if I have not mentioned you , you know you are included.
Deanna XXX