General Chat

One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn't get her foot high enough to reach to step.

Thinking it would give her enough slack to raise her leg, she reached back and unzipped her skirt a little. She still could not reach the step. Embarrassed, she reached back once again to unzip it a little more. Still, she couldn't reach the step.

So, with her skirt zipper halfway down, she reached back and unzipped her skirt all the way. Yet, she still couldn't reach the step!

So, seeing how embarrassed the girl was, the man standing behind her put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on to the first step of the bus. The girl turned around furiously and said, "How dare you touch my body that way, I don't even know you!"

Shocked, the man says, "Well, ma'am, after you reached around and unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured that we were friends."

pmsl foggy..........

A little girl goes into the barbers shop with her father.
She stands next to the chair eating her cake, whilst her father gets his hair cut.
The barber smiles at the little girl and says
"Sweetheart, your going to get hair in your muffin"
"I know" she replies

"I'm going to get big t**s too"

Am I back?

I just got booted big style lol

Where was I?
oh right music lol
xx

elbows.....................Mo i asked 1st.

Granny.............haha

Glynisxxx

HHHEEELLLOOO FOGGY................

do you need an answer to that?????


Glynisxxx

A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing eye dog one day.

They come to a busy intersection, and the dog, ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming by on the street, leads the blind man right out into the thick of traffic. This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down.

The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street, and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog.

A passerby, having observed the near fatal incident, can't control his amazement and says to the blind man, "Why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie? He nearly got you killed!"

The blind man turns partially in his direction and replies, "To find out where his head is, so I can kick his ass."

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

get back girls...................he mine

On a more serious note,
For months I have been getting spam emails offering me pills to enlarge my manhood, well I totally ignored them for ages, but recently my curiosity got the better of me, so I answered the email and soon the pills were delivered.
In a rush to try them out I opened the packet and, not reading the instructions I just popped one into my mouth, letting it dissolve on my tongue.
Blimey they work really well.

But I ask you ladies, what am I going to do with an 8 inch tongue.?

Granny................lol

I just laughed so loud my OH came to see what the matter was.....................


Glynisxxx

Spits and chokes out champers all over me outfit
at that Granny
lol
xx

Here you go Foggy
Ice cold Bud
You desrve it for that joke
xx

A young girl, not terribly experienced with men, ended up marrying an older man. Her mother agreed to stay in the house on the wedding night to give her any advice she may need, since she was a bit nervous as a virgin.

The happy couple retired to their bedroom, and he took off his shirt.

The bride ran out of the room and off to her mother.

"Mother! Mother! he has hair all over his chest," she said.

"It's all right, it's quite natural," says the mother, so the girl goes back. The bridegroom takes his trousers off, and she rushes out again.

"Mother! Mother! he has hair on his legs too." The mother reassures her again, so back she goes.

The husband takes off his socks, revealing that one of his feet is false. The bride rushes off yet again.

"Mother! Mother, he's got one foot," she says.

"A FOOT?" gasps the mother. "You stay here, this is a job for your mother."

pmslmfao Foggy


I really did lol then
xx

Foggy...........

that was good............xxx

I've added Mo........

to Heather..............

take care

Clue, there was this elderly couple attending the church service,
about halfway through the service the old lady turns to the man and says,
"I just let out a silent fart, what do you think I should do.?"
He replies



"Put a new battery in your hearing aide".

Have added Mo..

Good for Heather

So sad for her Gran
xx