General Chat

send her to Keith ,he could do with keeping in line lol

Rosex

wouldnt the rspca take her either?

WELL what happened next....
I only got the zipper stuck on the gorilla suit...

We pushed pulled tugged and yanked ....
But to no avail...

And with all my tools at work...

So rang the brother in law...
asked him to come over with some pliers...

But their lass was on a tarts *** night out...
With the lasses from the pie shop in Scarborough...

And he couldn't leave the 20 kids they have...
(not much to do in Richmond)....
So i had to go over to his...

Well it was 2 in the morning and ...
Pitch black outside...
And our lass was laughing to much to come to...

Here i am stuck in a gorilla suit...
Getting hotter and hotter...

So i started the short walk to his house...
Came across two woman walking home...
They looked at me and ...

One fainted and the other had a stroke...

then i spotted some blokes staring at me...
So i started to walk a bit faster...
Then i heard somebody shouted get him

And off i shot through the park...
I could hear voices and my heart was beating...

What if they were happy boys.... very happy boys...
You hear of that sort of thing on dark nights...
In parks in the middle of nowhere...

So i climbed a tree and waited ....
Heart beating even faster ...
Getting even hotter...
Next thing...

The bobbies turn up with guns....
And flashing lights like alliens from mars ...
I thought good their going to get them happy boys...

How wrong was i ...

And some ba****d shot me with a dart gun...
Right up my ar**...

I remember falling and then nothing...

Till i woke up this morning in a cage...
At some RCPCA animal rescue place...
40 miles away from home...

I gave the cleaner a right shock...
When i spoke to her...

Said ow you misses let me out...
I could hear her on the phone...
The gorilla s talking...
No Ive not been sniffing some nowt ...
No im not drunk
the gorillas talking....
Honest get over here ...
Anyway some time later...

Some body came opened the door...
And let me out...
I wasn't very happy i can tell ya ..
.
And did they apologize...
Oh no all thy said was...
Well you looked like a gorilla and
Smelt like one to......

And our lass had to come and get me...
Still wearing that dam gorilla suit...

And who was sat in the back of the car moaning...






Yes the mother in law....




So dont be coming on here...
Saying you ve had A bad day...

OMG Sir Andy I don't think I've laughed so much in a long time,cheers mate keep it up

And good luck with m i l think you need it
xx;)))))))))))))

Pmslmao

OMG.......................poor Sir Andy!!

*stands by with paramedic*

xx

you have brought tears to my eyes(laughing)
bet you are crying too, but for different reason! pmsl

Well did my plan work did it sh-- well ...

I waited hours in my gorilla suit ...
Getting hotter and hotter...

And just as Goliath (mil) went the lav...

I ran down
Tripped the lights

Huffing and puffing back upstairs...
And lay in wait .....for the old hag...

And as she opened the door...
i jumped out on her...

And did she flinch did she f---

She hit me with the lav brush what a stink...

Then an almighty forearm smash to me throat...
I come round in a half nelson...

With Goliath (mil ) all 40 stone sat on me...

With me street cred down the pan...

And it took our lass 20 minutes to get her off ...

And was that the worst of my night...
No the worst was yet to come much worse..

sir andy


It was nice of you to make my local ....I did expect you to fly here on a plane .......not come on the broomstick with her navigating.

I am not sure if I dare show my face (let alone my a**e )there any more.

I am sure I will still be talking once I get over the shell shock.

ZZiu xxx

Well i have the suit on boy is it hot...
Just need her to go the loo...
I was just wondering...




Do witches p--. ..

I know you all think i am wicked ...
I am not...honest...



I am just a desprate man...
Driven to madness...




By the old witch its her or me ...

Dont worry girls...

Ive got a plan tonights the night...

i ve hired a gorrilla suit...
Fom the fancy dress shop...
When she goes the loo in the middle of the night...
I will switch the lights off and jump out on her ...

Shes bound to have a heart atack...
I hope ...

I will let you all know tomorrow if it works...


fingers crossed everybody ...

Two sides to every coin...


murder or suicide...

Hi Sir Andy

Have you tried calling rentakil they treat all sorts...

This thread is hilarious - keep it up!! lol

Mary

Night Tricia sleep well..

Im not laughing

What if the old bat sleep walks...
Im going to put a lock on the bedroom door...
Before bed just incase...


That would well put me off my coco...

Hi Andy
you know you love her really(MiL) but this thread is so funny.
Nite
Tricia

Stella where are you...
(Better crawl a bit) ...

Beautiful creature love of my life...
Your looking so nice tonight
Your hair looks good...
Have you brushed it ...
You smell fantastic...
(dont want to over do it ) ...


is your magic wand coming out to play...

i wish...

What a wonderful thought Mo...
her just fading away...



Could this be my lucky day...