General Chat

im sorry to here that gwynw i agree i have never seen you post anything nasty x

That's difficult for me to answer, Puss, I've never been abused on the boards or had a nasty pm.

Someone implied a few weeks ago that I lied about my work with abused children which I didn't take too kindly. But I didn't abuse the poster or send a nasty pm either.

I stated the truth on a different thread. Whoever it was has disappeared now, so it's not likely to happen again.

Gwynne

whilst i do not agree that posting abuse is acceptable
i will never sit back and take abuse either why should i.

hurtful i am sure gwynne, rise above it is all you can do in those circumstances

That's true, Stella, I mean abuse directed at someone by name or strong implication - difficult to misinterpret that.

Gwynne

I have seen that, it can happen when someone posts without reading the thread to see other posts or posts crossing each other which happens quite a lot.

A simple apology made and accepted will usually sort it out.

xx

some times a posting may be interpreted as abuse when in fact it was not meant to be so

Puss, the term clique means an exclusive group which doesn't welcome outsiders - that isn't how I've found any of the groups on the boards. All the groups seem to me to welcome like minded people, which is as it should be. We'll have to agree to differ on the definition.

We'll have to agree to differ on if it is ever acceptable to post abuse as well. I don't think it is.

Gwynne

There are people on here who I have seen post really (to me) awful opinions in some threads, but that is just one facet of them.

The rest of their personality comes through as friendly and fun, so I have learned not to judge by a single posting.

We all make mistakes and all have opinions and lives of our own.

I think the term agree to disagree and move on is a good one.

I do that without harping back to past hurts to myself or others.

xx

qywne the term cliques is of my opinion of them and your inpinion not, dosent make either of us right, , if i have a go at someone its because i feel that they have seriously wronged me or a friend, there is no smoke without fire in my opinion, again in your opinion of you find it sick that people are missed when absent or suspended because they have retaliated to abuse or started it again in my opinion this is always decided by wether they are in your range of friends, i watched these boards along time before i posted, i also strongly belive you need to meet people befor e you know what they are really like and i have been very surprised. AMENDED SLIGHTLY AS I NO LONGER FEEL THIS PART OF MY REPLY IS NOW RLEVENT X

We all value the opinions of our friends, Joy, and the opinons of strangers shouldn't matter.

I form an opinion when I see someone post abusively, whether it is a friend or not, and my opinion is that it shouldn't have been posted. I would certainly never defend anyone who posts abuse, friend or stranger.

Someone I really like and respect has felt driven from the boards by abuse posted in "secret" that came to her notice. This person has never posted anything nasty and is a kind, gentle, witty person. Those who posted abuse about her are currently suspended.

I think I can be excused reaching for the sick bucket if they are welcomed back with waving flags after the hurt they caused to someone who really had done nothing to deserve it.

Gwynne

linda, that happens on my threads sometimes too

Hi Gwynne. The expressions cliques and gangs are just words, but you are right it is probably nicer and more softer to refer to them as groups.

Some of those people who appear to be abusive are just reacting to something they feel has been done to them. The worst thing that anyone can do in that situation is pile in on one side or the other. It doesn't help.

Another thing which I think is important before posting on a thread is to read it carefully and read it again. So often people kick in with an answer to what they think they have read, and cause a problem straight away.

Linda

point taken gwynne but i suppose that all depends where you stand surely.
those who have met me and who know me know different.and for me its there opinions that count.

We were all new once and I was a bit uncertain about posting where people seemed to know each other so well.

I strongly disagree with the term cliques. That could equally apply now if that's how people choose to intepret it, I don't. I think there are groups of people who get on and look out for each others' threads, same as it's always been.

I posted rather nervously and was delighted to be accepted by all the members. I have never sworn at, been abusive to or spiteful to anyone on the boards, even thought there are those whose behaviour has appalled me in the past. I just avoid them, it's easier.

It's a bit sickening, frankly, to see some who've abused others being feted as nice and kind and "missed" but that's life, I suppose.

Gwynne

a few more debate threads would suit me

hi linda,[nice to see ya posting.]
ive just looked at page 2,look what carol b has put.
i think for me it speaks volumes.she has a great way with words,the boards are how we make it.our choice.i also think its harder for peeps to spit venom now,as we can all see through it.i....like many want a nice board.and i love it when we get newbies.
right back to p2.lol[i never read then post ,tuts.]xxx

Linda I agree, maybe it is time for the positive people to overcome the negative tiny minority.

I had my first at 21 my last at 44.....three months before the birth of our eldest's firstborn!..............I wouldn't change a thing!

xx

Stella, that makes you the same age as my sister. One of the early baby boomers.

I agree with you Joyous, but we still need a better balance with a few more informative and debating threads.

From what I have been reading in the last few hours, I think we will get there.

Linda (The optimist)

goodness, i was 43 when my youngest son was born and 22 when my eldest was born, , 21 yrs between the boys and 2 girls inbetween