General Chat

The Laws of Genealogy The document containing evidence of the missing link in your research invariably will be lost due to fire, flood, or war. The keeper of the vital records you need will just have been insulted by another genealogist. Your great, great grandfather's obituary states that he died leaving no issue of record. The town clerk you wrote in desperation, and finally convinced to give to you the information you need, can't write legibly, and doesn't have a copying machine. The will you need is in the safe on board the "Titanic." The spelling of your European ancestor's name bears no relationship to its current spelling or pronunciation. That ancient photograph of four relatives, one of whom is your progenitor, carries the names of the other three. Copies of old newspapers have holes which only occur on last names. No one in your family tree ever did anything noteworthy, always rented property, was never sued, and was never named in wills. You learned that great aunt Matilda's executor just sold her life's collection of family genealogical materials to a flea market dealer "somewhere in New York City." Yours is the ONLY last name not found among the three billion in the world-famous Mormon archives in Salt Lake City. Ink fades and paper deteriorates at a rate inversely proportional to the value of the data recorded. The 37-volume, sixteen-thousand-page history of your county of origin isn't indexed. The critical link in your family tree is named "Smith."

The Census Census Taker: "Good morning, madam, I'm taking the census." Old Lady: "The what?" Census Taker: "The c-e-n-s-u-s!" Old Lady: "For lans sakes! What with tramps takin' everythin' they kin lay their han's on, young folks takin' fotygrafs of ye without so much as askin', an' impudent fellows comin' roun' as wants ter take yer senses, pretty soon there won't be nothin' left ter take, I'm thinkin'." sorry i found it on the net !!!!!

I saw this on a fridge magnet, and thought it rather good. "Insanity is heredetary, we get it from our kids" no apologies for the spelling here.

Young son to his dad, "Do you and mummy have sexual relations?" "Yes Timmy we do, why do you ask?" "Why do they never visit us?"

it's no joke I am just branching out - my partner thinks that i have taken root in front of the computor - no time for light bulbs or anything else - can't see the wood for the trees I was feeling frustrated then I have just found message board thanks a bunch - can't find bmd so i must be censurless thanks trish

I have just completed my family tree. Problem, my family's hung me from it.

Hey, Love all the great jokes! Not a joke, but an anticdote: During a recent visit from an old friend who asked me what had I been doing with myself, my son interjected "Mum looks for dead people on the Internet." Keep up the great laughs! Charmaine

Good to have you back on board , Marly, Robert, Ayrshire

IGI index is an abbreviation for " ink's gone invisible". Robert, Ayrshire

GRO = Got rong one Badger Bill Worthing

I've only just TWIGGED about the site and LOGGED on for the first time tonight and thought I'd LEAF a message. Rather than STEMming the enthusiasm, this will certainly have me BRANCHING out further AFIELD to find my ancestry.

I saw this joke earlier and think it should have another airing "If you find too many fruitcakes in the family you might discover that your family coat has arms which tie at the back". Paul Darke, Newcastle upon Tyne.

ONLY GENEALOGISTS CONSIDER A STEP BACKWARDS TO BE A STEP FORWARD. Catherine Proctor, Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, BC. Canada.

How many genealogists..... You mean there are other things we should be doing, besides looking at GC?!!!!

When you were a teenager and grandmother tells you in all seriousness, that they didnt do that sort of thing in her day. Years later, you discover that both your grandmother and her parents were married just 3 months before their eldest child was born.

When you were a teenager and grandmother tells you in all seriousness, that they didnt do that sort of thing in her day. Years later, you discover that both your grandmother and her parents were married just 3 months before their eldest child was born.

(Courtesy of my son). How many genealogists does it take to change a light bulb? None - they'd all be too busy researching to notice it had gone, let alone find time to change it!

The revelations of our Ancestors, come from the Tree-roots, rather than the Branches.Hence the activity of 'discovering our roots'.

We need something to smile about with all the other changes on here. RG

We are all Detectives at Heart can you work this one out ? . . . . . . . The Israeli Police are looking for a man named Joseph. Wanted for looting in the Port City of Haifa. The suspect was described as the son of a Barcelona ex-nun And a German Father. He was a former flutist, and he worked occasionally as a Farmer ? In short he was “A Haifa-lootin’, flutin’, Teouton, Son-of-a-Nun from Barcelona, part-time,Ploughman Joe. MIKE.