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Humour

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ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A Report 9 Oct 2003 22:07

A one liner taken from todays Daily Mail: "You"re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on". Quite amusing - must try and remember this one. Liz

Andy

Andy Report 10 Oct 2003 00:38

I saw this one recently, think it was in the Daily Mail also: "What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?" "I don't know and I don't care".

John

John Report 10 Oct 2003 11:13

I remember the first time I got drunk at a Scots batchelor night. I was quite young and inexperienced with the Scottish way. I remember getting home, falling down and yes, I was clutching the carpet thinking I was going to fall off the floor. Ruined the next day for me, and no, I wasn`t the groom. John P.S. There have been a couple of other times but none as bad as that first one.

Kathleen

Kathleen Report 10 Oct 2003 11:18

Sign on a cemetery gate "One way only, no exit"

Unknown

Unknown Report 10 Oct 2003 13:46

He is not drunk, who from the floor Can raise his voice and shout for more. But drunk is he who prostrate lies Without the power to drink or rise.

Dave

Dave Report 10 Oct 2003 14:14

Reality is an illusion brought about by lack of alcohol.

Bob

Bob Report 10 Oct 2003 17:50

Saw a sign on the back of a German truck today "CAUTION!!!! LEFT HANDED DRIVER"

Sue

Sue Report 10 Oct 2003 18:36

Bob Must get a sign like that for my car! All the best people are left-handed! (A cackhanded) Sue

Andy

Andy Report 10 Oct 2003 19:22

Confucious says: Man who walks through airport doorway sideways going to Bangkok. ;-)

Rosalind in Madeira

Rosalind in Madeira Report 10 Oct 2003 23:09

This comes from a selection of emails:- Ever spoken and wished you could take the words back..or that you could crawl in a hole?.. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly. "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word.. he knew better. There are more, but it needs someone to explain "cut and paste" or I wiil have to type the rest of them out. Ros Liz, I saw that one as well!!

Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A Report 11 Oct 2003 01:19

Hi Ros The Mail has some interesting "bits" on their peoples page, don't they? Regarding copy and pasting, highlight the text that you want to copy, press the copy button, then go to the place you wish to copy to and click, then press the paste button - that should work. (If you understand the above - that is). Liz