General Chat

ME. I was asked by a contact to update my tree on here after they noticed that the details didn't match a genealogy report i had sent them. I share the same tree as my wife and don't check what she has added. Within ten minutes we had an e-mail accusing us of being name collectors and not researching our tree because herself and her husband were included on our tree. We do all branches and twigs on our tree and their details were two we didn't have before so we included them on our main programme. We sent an apology straight away and offered to remove them, their reply was no problems they are ok with the tree as it is. Later i was checking my contacts and found that they have removed their link and removed permission to view thir tree. This is cutting off their nose to spite your face. They had sent us contact notes on five different branches of our tree with links to both husband and wife's family trees. In our five days of contact we have supplied genelogical reports on each line as they wanted proof of our link to them. In return we got two names. All our questions were virtually ignored. The subject of this website is genesconnected, we are supposed to help each other with two way traffic, unfortunately some people want to take and give nothing in return. I won't name them here, they know who they are. My wife was devastated at being accused of name collecting. We have been doing our tree for over ten years, long before the internet came along as it is now. In future i will be careful how much information i give people. Last night i was all ready to delete my tree, but, i have slept on it now. I just wanted to get this off my chest. George

Hi, Try not to feel too bad about it. This used to happen to me a lot. It is also the reason I have only put a very "bare" tree on this site. I have nearly 6,000 names on my tree but have only put a few generations of direct ancestors here. I'm always happy to exchange information but not to give it all away and get nothing in return. Most of my "cousins" and I are happy to work together and exchange everything we have, those who only take are the losers in the end. None of us put big trees on the web, though, as several of us have been burned in the past. Some have been victims of ancestor-napping. Someone sees a name and date that looks right and decides to include that ancestor on their tree even when there is no evidence. And sometimes when there is proof that there is no connection. Don't even get me started on what's happened to some of my ancestors on the IGI and ancestral file. Total works of fiction. Sigh. Don't let it get to you, Gwynne

George - l agree with Marly and Viv, ur not a plonker,its a risk we sometimes take,but by reading threads like this we can all learn.(l'm usually the plonker:(( Take care. Jude

George I know how you feel. I have given loads of info to people in the past and got very little back, but the worst case was one guy who took all of my info consisting of a very large tree going back about 8 generations, when he had hardly anything. He then re-wrote it and called it all of his own work, even had the cheek to send me a copy, with no acknowledgement to me. AND, when his brother was in my area once he knocked on my door and started telling me about this wonderful family tree that "our David" had written. I flipped. I now never give out too much info at a time. I send some, then wait for a reply. I tell them I have loads more, but if I don't get anything back I don't send anymore. You certainly learn from your mistakes. Margaret

George, I'm really sorry to hear you had such a bad experience. It's very sad to think there are people who want to take take take and give nothing back. Don't let them put you off what is obviously a source of great enjoyment to you and your wife. I don't have even half the knowledge or experience that many here on GC seem to have and always feel awkward when I need help as I don't want to seem to be asking all the time, especially as I don't feel I have the knowledge to return the favour. But I always try to help where I can, it may be only small things I can give back, but as my experience grows I hope I'll be able to offer more to others. I, like many others, would be lost without people like you who are willing to share their wisdom so please keep at it!! Eleanor

Surely the name of the game is mutual help. I am perfectly happy for anyone to whom I have given access to my tree to use that information in their own tree. However, it is up to them to verify the accuracy. Similarly I have incorporated some information from trees to which I have been given access, usually this has consisted of the name of a wife or child of an existing entry and I always show the name of the contributor in the "Source" box, which is also a reminder to me that I have not yet verified the information. In many cases I have dates of birth or death available which have not been on the other person's tree so I have picked up a spouse and they have been given the husband's dates - so mutual advantage.

Thanks for all your positive replies. Brian, yes the name of the game is sharing, but, being told by someone your a name collector dosn't help. As anyone who has had my help in the past will tell you i have loads of indexes at home. I can also genuinely say i can provide a genealogical report for any of the 900 surnames in my tree, complete with dates, places, children and in a lot of cases photo's. Is that name collecting. George

George, You are definately not a plonker!!! This site is all about a trust I think. I have had someone contact me with regards to my husbands side of the tree. They have far more information than I have but i wouldnt dream of putting that info on my tree unless I had checked and double checked it. I almost feel guilty that I didnt do the work myself. Dont be dissallusioned (Is that how you spell it, lol), not everyone is the same! Regards, Allie.

Name collector? What on earth? I keep the tree for my family, my husband's (not much done there yet), and several cousins on both maternal and paternal sides who are not particularly computer literate. Aside from that, I'm also an only child, with no children myself, and no first cousins on one side (paternal) of my family. Therefore, trying to establish even rather distant connections to that part of my tree is very important to me. I'm IT; this part of the family dies with me! I've found a few third cousins ONLY BECAUSE I've included names in my tree that I had no idea were still valid and had living descendants. We all have our reasons for researching our families and for how many people we have on our trees. I've been doing research now on the Internet for more than four years, and have never before seen anyone complain as those people did, calling you "name collectors". If they want to limit their own tree, that's fine--but have they ever realized that by doing so, they may well be limiting the abilities of others to break through brick walls? Helping in research is the spirit of all the sharing genealogical sites. Heaven help us if that spirit is disappearing!

George Are you a member of the Lincolnshire FHS in Grimsby? If so I will see you at the christmas 'do..!!

Lesley Same as you, by creating an extended tree I have located two second cousins for my wife.

Claire I am a member in Grimsby but not into pass the parcel and other party games. Tend to stick just to the meetings more often than not unless is workshop night which are a bit of a waste of time as i have most of the index's at home. George

I want to try and word this carefully because my intention is not to offend or get anyones backs up. If you post a list of names and dates on the net (and that's all they are, although I know we all feel personally attached to them) then you are making the list public knowledge. If someone wants to use the names to add to their tree, then by posting the details you are giving everyone the right to use them. I know many people have spent years compiling their trees and they have involved a lot of hard work. It is annoying when others copy your work but they haven't had the satisfaction of finding the long lost relly after spooling through 3 hours of film at the LDS Centre etc. That is the joy of this hobby. We all like to get what information we can for free. I'm sure nobody considers they're stealing someone elses work when they use the information available on FreeBMD! We need to remember that each of our trees are our own personal creation and we can make them grow in many different ways. If someone takes a 'cutting' without your permission perhaps in time it will grow into a mighty oak and they will give you back a new branch for your own tree. Compare your tree to a painting. If the great artists had hidden away their work everyone would have missed out on so much. They would find satisfaction in doing the painting but also in the appreciation of others who viewed their work. And I think they would be secretly pleased about the forgeries. It would show their work was admired enough to be worth forging. If you really don't want your data to be used then don't post any. But consider that would make you a taker. You will be using eveyone elses information on this site and not giving anything back. The joy is in the giving...........

Helen You have confused me, we may have all posted a list of names on this site,but, untill contact is made you cannot get at the tree. To ask for five genealogy reports and then close and cut off all contacts is a bit of a liberty. On doing a quick search on here i find that she is one of four people doing the same line. I am in contact with one of them and find she has done the same to them. I don't mind sharing, just look at the help messages i have posted before, but do not like being ripped off. I await for her to post some of my research then i would like to add another ficticious relative to take her off at the wrong tangent. It would serve her right. George

George Go for it! Get that relly added, wait until it's added to the other tree, add on a wife and 5 kids, wait until it's copied, then delete them all. The new names will appear very obviously on the site but only you will know about the deletions (LOL)

I have found everyone really lovelly who I have helped!!! As long as you get an aknowledgment I'll keep helping, so far everyone has. Matt

George I just wanted to add to what the others have put, I'm sorry that this person is the way they are but there are so many other people who are more than happy to share and help others. Please try not to let one bad apple ruin the fun you have doing your tree. I do admit that I think I would be temped to do the "dummy" relative thing but ....... I don't know? Seems a bit like lowering yourself to their level? Rachel

Hello George, I too have had this problem, i contacted someone with two names that matched rellies of mine only to find out that yes indeed they where related, (one still being alive) but that was ALL the information they had, and was looking to me to supply all the relevant details and copies needless to say i declined and haven't spoken to them since. a very disheartened Eileen