General Chat

Hi Mandy, Many thanks for your lovely e-mail. I have saved it just in case I need the info you gave me at some future date. Love Margaret X

Margaret I think this is one area that may be a little personal for everyone to view - but I'd really like to let you know some of my experiences, or perhaps offer some tips (like which route to take - I wouldn't be so bold as to offer advice!). If you would like this, please email me direct and we can have a 'chat' - if not, I'm not in the least bit offended. One thing that I don't mind airing on here though is something my counsellor said to me - it's the strong relationships that can cope with searching, ie if you have a good relationship with your son (and from what you've said, it certainly looks as if you have) then that relationship won't suffer if he does decide to search for his birth family. My very best wishes to you both, Mandy xx

Thanks for that Mandy. I had wondered whether to re-title the poem but couldn't think what to say. I am very pleased you have been happy with your 'chosen' mum and dad, and I am pleased for you that you have found your half brother. My cousin traced his birth family, but it didn't turn out too well. My son says he doesn't want to meet his birth mum but is going through the curious stage at the moment, wanting details etc. on what was she like. I wouldn't like to say which way he will go, but if he does want to find her, I hope she feels the same way, as I would not want him to be upset by rejection. I suppose that's what being a mum is all about, whether you are a natural birth mother or a chosen one. Margaret

htats a lovely poem im sure it sums up exactly how adoptive parents feel about their children

To Margaret and all the other ladies who have replied, You are all VERY special people. I'm adopted and although recently had cause to trace some members of my birth family, my parents are the ones who brought me up. I will never think of them as anything other than 'mum and dad'. I think it's an incredible thing to do, to take on a child that someone else gave birth to. My mum and dad are really special too. They knew why I was tracing my birth family, and although there is no contact with my birth mother, I have a wonderful relationship with my (half)brother - and my parents have happily accepted him as this! What a wonderful thing to do! They have all met up and they are pleased to be part of an extended family too! So I'm posting this message with lots of love and respect to all adoptive parents - and I get cross when people say 'adoptive' parents cos they're my only parents :)))

Thank you Christine and Sylvia. Sylvia, you have been blessed twice! Wish I had had the chance to have more. Margaret

Thank you Margaret for your beautiful poem. I have 2 adopted sons and feel the same. Best wishes from Sylvia

Margaret, That is beautiful.

Not flesh of my flesh, Nor bone of my bone, But still miraculously my own, Never forget for a single minute, You didn't grow under my heart, But in it. Jim Bowen 2002.

I have read Jim Bowen's autobiography recently, (the commedian of Bulls Eye fame) and learned that he too was adopted as a baby. In it he wrote this lovely, emotional poem, I can't remember whether they are his words or are quoted from somewhere else. But to me they sum up just how I feel about my son. Bless!! Margaret