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Couple of jokes about MEN

ProfilePosted byOptionsPost Date

Margaret

Margaret Report 14 May 2004 22:30

How can you save a man from drowning? Take your foot of his head How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? We dont know it never happens What is the thinnest book in the world? What men know about women

PennyDainty

PennyDainty Report 14 May 2004 22:36

Here's a few more Margaret Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why. What is the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink What does a beer bottle and a guy have in common? There both empty from the neck up. What do men and linoleum have in common? Lay them right and you can walk all over them the rest of your life. How can you tell if a man is well hung? If you can't get your finger between the rope and his neck!!!!

Margaret

Margaret Report 14 May 2004 22:39

Christine i am sure that some male out there will add some jokes about women

Keith

Keith Report 14 May 2004 22:47

You're right!!! What's the difference between BSE and PMT. One is Mad Cow Disease and the other affects farm animals. Keith

badger

badger Report 14 May 2004 22:53

How do you get a woman to lose weight? take all the junk out of it,s handbag. how do you know when a woman has passed out ,its the only time her mouth stops moving. How many women does it take to change a tyre ,non cause they can,t do it ,it takes one man.One point to the men i think.Denis.

PennyDainty

PennyDainty Report 14 May 2004 23:02

What has eight arms and an IQ of 60? Four guys watching a football game What's the difference between Big Foot and intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted a several times What do you call a man with half a brain? Gifted Why do men like smart women? Opposites attract. Why do little boys whine? Because they are practicing to be men. Why can't men get mad cow disease? Because they're all pigs.

Bob

Bob Report 14 May 2004 23:07

A new bride was a bit embarrassed to be known as a honeymooner. So when she and her husband pulled up to the hotel, she asked him if there was any way that they could make it appear that they had been married a long time. He responded, "Sure. You carry the suitcases!"

Bob

Bob Report 14 May 2004 23:08

There were a couple of old guys talking at the bar. One of the men had been married for 66 years. "Amazing. 66 years!" said his friend. "What's the secret to such a long, happy marriage?" "Well," he replied, "It's like this. The man makes all the big decisions... and the woman just makes the little decisions." "Really?" his friend responded. "Does that really work?" "Oh, yes," he said proudly. "66 years, and so far, not one big decision!"

Bob

Bob Report 14 May 2004 23:10

A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, to be honest, I've forgotten her name."

Bob

Bob Report 14 May 2004 23:11

A wife woke of the middle of the night to find her husband missing from bed. She got out of bed and checked around the house. She heard sobbing from the basement. After turning on the light and descending the stairs, she found he husband curled up into a little ball, sobbing. "Honey, what's wrong?" she asked, worried about what could hurt him so much. "Remember, 20 years ago, I got you pregnant? And your father threatened me to marry you or to go to jail?" "Yes, of course," she replied. "Well, I would have been released tonight."

Elizabeth A

Elizabeth A Report 4 Jul 2004 04:28

A man walks int o a florist requesting a bouquet. The assistant asks what he has in mind. He is not sure. "Perhaps i can help" offers the assistant. "What exactly have you done?" Liz

Unknown

Unknown Report 4 Jul 2004 08:21

Remember Woody Allen playing Dad in Mighty Aphrodite? His little boy asks "Whose the boss between you and Mommy?" Allen replies, shocked, "You have to ask? I'M the boss - Mommy's just the decision-maker". Helen

The Hrt Man

The Hrt Man Report 6 Jul 2004 19:07

a womans work is never done if they had done it right in the first place men would not have to clean up after them john from yick women are the backbone ofthe world salt of the earth

PennyDainty

PennyDainty Report 6 Jul 2004 20:07

The difference between the sexes Moods of a Woman An angel of truth and a dream of fiction, A woman is a bundle of contradiction, She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a mouse, But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the house. Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose, She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her nose, She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk, She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than milk; At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad, She'll hate you like poison, and love you like mad. ~~~~~~~~~~ Moods of a Man Horny!!!! Lol Christine