General Chat

I have cried so many tears over the last couple of months. Why? Because I heard from my father after 45 years. I was 9 when I last saw him and he is now nearly 82. At the end of March he said (via email) that he would be in touch soon but I have heard nothing. Since then - nothing. What do you think I should do?

Hello Nesta try emailing him, or if you have an address or phone number get in touch he may have lost your address take care honey sandra

Nesta - e-mail him back - hugs

Nesta, I do sympathise, it's very hard with elderly people sometimes. Can you write to him, rather than phone or e-mail, they don't always respond so well to a phone call. I am trying to trace my birth mother and found out last week she is ten years older than I thought, so I feel as if time is not on my side. The other alternative is to ask someone to ask him if he will get in touch, he may have been ill, or something. What I'm trying to say is how much do you want to get in touch and let your own feelings dictate what you do. Good luck, my thoughts are with you. Sue

Perhaps he's scared too, or maybe feels dreadfully guilty. Who knows? If you really want to see him then e-mail now. Life's to short to stuff a muchroom, as I always say. If it helps, I'm in the same position as you. I hav'nt sen mine for 35 years. I know exactly where he is, but I'm scared too. Do what your heart tells you. Luv Jo X.

I've tried emailing him - but no reply. I think his "current" family might have told him that I am not worth th effort. As he lives in Canada, and I live in the UK, it is not all that easy just to turn up on the door step. I feel that I have been so close to knowing him again to have it taken away from me. Nes

Hi Nes, Write to him. He may not be receiving your emails. Then if you don't hear from him write to the family to see it he is alright. Really hope you can connect.

Does he share the computer with someone else; perhaps he didn't see your email. I would try contacting him again. In case this helps, here's a directory for Canada: http://www.canada411.ca/eng/person.html Good luck. :~)

Thanks so much for all the suggestions and the encouragement. Jo - contact your father. If I had known where my father was, I would have tried before now. Sylvia - If there is anything I can do to try and help in your search, please ask. I have the UK info disc that has the elecoral role and I have helped quite a few people find thier birth parents, so please shout if there is anything I can do. Thanks Lisa, I have found a couple of telephone no. in the area I think that he lives in but no answer. I will try again later. Please, anyone that is holding back from contacting a person - do take that initial step. It might hurt but at least you will find a closure to that part of your lift. Nes

Hi Nesta, I am so sorry that you have not heard from your father again since the first contact after all those years. I was the first to reply to your thread about Finding Lost Relatives. You found me an address which could possibly lead to me finding a 1/2 brother that I had only just been told about 23 years after his birth. I wrote to that address and yes you were right, he was there. We exchanged a number of texts, chatted on the phone and I met him for the first time on Easter Sunday. It was a great day. I few weeks later he and his mother suggested they come to visit me next. I suggested this coming Bank Holiday weekend. After me sending several more texts I have only just discovered that he will not be coming. I really did think it was he did not want to know. You see, like your dad, he has his family, a mother, a brother and he is still in contact with the person he calls Dad (Who he is officially not related too but brought him up from age 5.) I know how it feels when you think you have found someone closley related and then they dont appear to want to know. Maybe your dad is like my 1/2 brother and is not good at regular contact. Hold on Nesta, I really hope he gets back in touch with you. If you want to chat you know where I am. Take Care x

Nesta, what ever age you are I think you always yearn for your Mother or Father to love you. That's why it hurts, because you care. You were very brave in the first place to be in touch after such along time. If your heart feels it is strong enough to go on then that is what you must do. Or you will spend the rest of your life regretting it. I hope it turns out for the best. Love and strenghth to you, Jo.

Hi Nesta If he made the first step in contacting you , it maybe that he is worried what your expectations are of him, he could feel guilty and ashamed for abondoning you - all sorts of silly thoughts could be racing through his head. He may need time to gather up more strength to carry onto the next phase of connecting with you. Just you keep e mailing sweetie and be as cheerful, informative and as positive as you can , preserver and encourage him to follow through. Wishing you much happiness Debi