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Men....................
Profile | Posted by | Options | Post Date |
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Natalie | Report | 2 Jul 2004 15:46 |
I thought this was quite funny for a friday afternoon. Hope everyone has a nice weekend Nat Please see below |
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Natalie | Report | 2 Jul 2004 15:47 |
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules: - Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE! 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both._ If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Sex, Sport, or Cars. 1. You have enough clothes. 1. You have too many shoes. 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape. 1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping. |
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Lindy | Report | 2 Jul 2004 15:53 |
Hi Nat, I saw this recently and it is still good for a laugh. Enjoy your weekend! Lindy;-) |
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Unknown | Report | 2 Jul 2004 15:59 |
great stuff natalie,thanks for sharing,naturally i agree with most of them,specially the toilet seat one,i always put it up,when having a pee,and usually forget to put it back down....but why oh why,is there such a song and dance about it...its not heavy!!! ......bryan. |
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Lindy | Report | 2 Jul 2004 16:18 |
Bryan, It's the thought of having to touch the toilet seat in order to put it down. I would have to fetch my rubber gloves. Lindy;-))))) |
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Unknown | Report | 2 Jul 2004 16:20 |
Brilliant Natalie, thanks for that! LOL |
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Unknown | Report | 2 Jul 2004 16:21 |
All perfectly reasonable Nat... but be careful, you might offend someone and they might complain... I mean, this stereotyped view is offensive to men everywhere lol |
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**Sheesh | Report | 2 Jul 2004 16:24 |
Brilliant Nat, sounds just like most of the blokes i know. |
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Natalie | Report | 2 Jul 2004 16:27 |
thanks Paul I will take that on board lol. Have a great weekend everyone Nat |
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Unknown | Report | 2 Jul 2004 17:08 |
but natalie,thats why us men,have put wash basins in the bathroom,so you can was your hands lol. bryan. |