General Chat

jenny is right the smear lets hear how your last one went

that is so funny sue and so true, I wonder if anyone has written anything similar about the dreaded smear test, that is even worse than the mamogram. jenny

For years and years they told me Be carefull of your breasts Don't ever squeeze or bruise them, And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law, Guarded them very carefully And always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno Dr. Pruitt Said I should get a mammogram, "O.K" I said "Lets do it". "Stand up here, real close," she said (She got my boob in line) "And tell me when it hurts," she said. "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine." She stepped upon a pedal I could not believe my eyes A plastic plate came slamming down, My Hooter's in a vice. My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin. My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish pancake thin. Excruciating pain I felt, Within it's vice like grip A prisoner in this vicious thing My poor defenceless tit! "Take a deep breath," she said to me, Who does she think she's kidding?!? My chest is mashed in her machine, And woozy I am getting. "There, that's good," I hear her say (The room was slowly swaying) "Now let's have a go at the other one," Have mercy, I was praying. It squeezed me from both up and down, It squeezed me from both sides. I"ll be SHE'S never had this done, To HER tender little hide. Next time that they make me do this, I will request a blidfold, I have no wish to see again, My knockers getting steam rolled. If I had no problem when I came in I surely have one now If there are been a cyst in there. It would have gone "ker-pow!" This machine was reated by a man, Of this, I have no doubt. I'd like to stick his balls in there And see how THEY come out. OK now that you've had your laugh, remember.... Breast Cancer Awareness.....Go have those boobs checked out and stay healthy. (This compiled by a clinical nurse educator at the john hunter hospital )