General Chat

Mommylonglegs: I've got the passenger list, thanks (see email) just looking through it. I suggest we leave Lisbon at 8.00pm this evening headed for the Azores. Hopefully the Chief Engineer Len, will be around to speak to then. I suggest we serve Dinner just after we set sail, Is that OK with Madam Purser?

Hi, The entertaimments officer (Linda) decreed it was to be Snow White so I am auditioning possible Princes for this very exacting role. Gwynne

Hi security here who was steering this ship last night it was rolling all over the place did'tn sleep a wink,( or was it activity in the brothel ) anyway finaly fell asleep and just woken up only to find someone spiked the dogs dinner with vodka, they are both grinning like cheshire cats and wobbling all over the place, was it Gwynne or that elf????. I'm not happy about sleeping in a hammock i need a cabin with a nice young lady and room for my dogs, all offers treated in strictest confidence, thank you. I'm off to find that cringing little Elf, hope he can swim!!! I have relinquished my title of Earl as i don't want to be seen as accepting favours YET!!! David ( security )

OK David, it's a fair cop. Sorry about the drunken dogs. But please come and remove the Elf. He's singing and wailing and Mr Clooney and I want a quiet dinner in the cabin. I understand Nigel is on board - maybe he would like to audition for the panto - I have a window in my schedule on Friday. Send him along, Manda, there's a dear. Gwynne

Ah Ah Christina thats why the ship was rolling about ABSENT HELMSPERSON, at this rate we won't get to Lisbon before were ship wrecked, i will drag myself away from the lucky young lady with who i am sharing a cabin, and do some spot checks on the helm, be afraid, David ( security )

Manda you daft bat, Melanie is the pole dancer, I'm Lady Anne the brothel madam! Great job on Jean by the way.

dorothy would like to report in as chief scrubber as the poop decks need cleanng and to be kept clear!i need a underhand scrubber any offers?

Manda, my apologies and I take back my daft bat reference! LOL

I can vouch for the elf. He was here all night. I kicked him out this morning before Mr Clooney's audition and he came back gibbering within an hour. Most annoying. He's still here now rambling on in elvish. What a shame! He was in perfectly usable condition when I let him out this morning. What can have happened to him to get him in this state? His bow's all crooked as well. Manda, thanks for the offer of Nigel for the audition. Make sure he has a shower first, please. Gwynne

good at gettin on my hands and knees!!!!!my interests areFILTH.being a scrubber and being one so wellxxxx

Jean I'll join you before 8pm in time for the sailing and I'll be happy to be a slut. Never done it before, any tips - LOL! Lynne

if the scrubbers out i am willing to be a slut aswell.beggers can't be choosers.xx

Hi, I got confused when the messages fell off the list and we had to start at the end. If you see what I mean. Can this be chapter one and can Dorothy "close" this when it gets full and start chapter 2? Please? I confuse easily. Gwynne PS Brian the elf is still here.

Jean lmao - you're enjoying it more than me. Re-usable condoms - must be a market somewhere for those, good thinking.

Good with dogs, kids, and gardening. So I suppose any job involving them will be ok. Would prefer older kids as opposed to the little ones. Maggie

Christina sounds like an excuse to me, could amount to dereliction of duty, i'll be watching carefully. I have locked the sharp knives in the brig along with two bags full of red shoes various sizes and heels, any of which can be signed out for use in the panto or what ever, they must be returned every evening after rehearsals or disco's. I also have one pair of red highheeled thigh boots, and stuffed inside a red latex mini dress and red latex pants and bra, would phew!! the phew!! young lady phew!! please collect them personally gosh!!!!!!. Must have a lay down David ( very shaky gibbering security )

Hi new slut here, will report for duty in about one hour after I've done a couple of important things (like cooking a meal for my own elf) Lynne

David Can I have the boots and the other gear please when I sing on later. Lynne the slut in sale

I mean SIGN LOL Back later. Lynne

Jenny that would be perfect. I put some gardening books in with my luggage along with spade, hoe and rake. If someone has a spare pair of wellies that would be good, I take a size 4. Digging out books and lazing on lounger with vodka and bitter lemon, planning garden. Maggie