General Chat

(Quiet-tone Tannoy) It's been a long and busy day, have a restful night everybody, speak to you after breakfast tomorrow. Get ready to go ashore for last minute shopping in Lisbon. Once we set sail again, it will be to the Azores. Goodnight

Nite all,hic! Viv

Mommylonglegs: Don't really do breakfast much: Just Brioche, Croissants Marmalade and Fruit Juice please. Did you put the original thread on 'Word'? so it could be sent as an Attachment? 'nite, speak to you tomorrow, after I've done the cat-run!

DAVID! DAVID! Come to my cabin immediately. Legolas the elf was banging on the door at some unearthly hour and has locked himself in the wardrobe claiming asylum. He says he was held against his will in a room somewhere on the ship and every time I ask him about it he faints. I have a busy day ahead and I have already rejected him once, having no further use for him. Please come and collect him so that I can begin today's audition with Mr Clooney. Thanks, Gwynne

SECURITY! David, I hate to nag but My Clooney and I are covered in bite marks and scratches. We got the elf out of the wardrobe and now he's hiding under the bed gibbering. He's whimpering, "Please don't make me go back there." Please come and remove him. Gwynne

Gwynne I wonder who that elf is, must be some imposter, the real elf is here brushing his hair and generally preening himself, he has an appointment with Jean or Marion depending on how energetic he feels.

Hi Anne, I'm afraid you have the imposter - the elf under the bed has the correct tattoo, in the right place. Does yours have a tattoo? And where? He is also able to quote extensively (and at great length.........) from the elvish songs from Lord of the Rings. I know they are the right songs as I have the book here with me. (And I've read it far more times than is normal for one lifetime.) I really hope Brian gets here soon. His wails are giving me a headache. Gwynne

Jenny - please may my better half and I come back? (Revd Christopher Dean and Kentish Maid)? Joy

Just having a quick lunch break. Thank you, Jenny. Christopher is himself plus doing something with Pole I think. He was also a senior lecturer at Bournemouth University up to a couple of years ago, teaching tourism, so he could help with touristy things. I was going to do things with computers and be a DIVVY but think while I was being so upset other people took them on? So I could be "thorn in the side of the abuse administrators" because I won't give up my fight for what is right! okay?! Joy

Tell Mr Depp to reprt for his audition tomorrow. My Clooney doing well so far. Can't someone come and get this wailing elf?????????? SECURITY where are you? Gwynne

Hi Manda, I wish I could send you the elf. He just refuses to leave. Something must have scared him very badly. Mr Clooney and I are finding him very distracting. I'll tell Mr Depp to report to you after he's completed his audition. Gwynne

Jean, David, calls himself security came in last night, had us all sprayed with some noxious smelling disinfectant, that has made us all turn green, except for the elf who remains beautiful. We might have to shut up the brothel for a few hours, Can you speak to the lazy bugger get her up and about, can't believe the weight she has put on, she looks more like a lazy cow.

Jenny I dont mind what I do, can you find something for me to do? Maggie

Can I board th ship please, I've just spent the last hour reading EVERY thread and LMAO in my office. Had to close the door so my colleagues wouldn't hear me. I don't mind being a slut as I seer you are short of them. Luverly Lynne

Hi Christina, I only require Mr Depp for tomorrow. After that he'll be helping out in the laundry. You can collect him from there. The elf is singing to himself now which is an improvement on wailing but those of you who have heard elvish songs will know it is not a great improvement. Where is Mr Security when you need him? Anne (Linda) he's not hiding out in the brothel is he? Mr Clooney and I will take dinner in my cabin tonight. Just a little more auditioning before I let him loose. Gwynne

Thanks Manda I will join at Lisbon, (later this evening hopefully when I get home from work) and I'm happy to do any job as I'm good at everything! Bighead

Christina, The sluts are very sorry, we have had a grand time with Me Depp and unfortunately he is no longer the man he used to be, just a shadow of his former self. We will feed him up give him plenty of TLC and hopefully he will be back to as near as normal as he could be. We had the best time with him though. Slutty Jean looks years younger, even the lazy bugger Marion moved a few times

If he hasn't bounced back by tomorrow I'll delay his audition by a day or so. Gwynne

I've just discovered my own fantasy hiding in my quarters Mr LL Cool J, Lynda Loves Cool J, so you can have your elves, your mels and crowes - yuk- Cool J is all I need to get by, someone, not you slutty or you Lazy bugger take care of my grandson for a couple of days and my loyal mutt, Frankie please. If my cabins arockin don't come aknockin.

Hi Jenny, I have the list but you haven't mentioned that I am directing the panto. All these auditions are very hard work. Gwynne