General Chat

David: glad to hear your plans! I think all should be oliged to watch 'That'll Teach 'em' to give them all a taster of what could be in store!

Hi David, It's OK you can leave he elf where he is. No stamina these halflings. I'll just stay quietly in my cabin. I'm auditioning Mr Firth for a role in the panto. It could take some time so I'd appreciate the bottle of vodka I ordered earlier. I didn't realise they made cricket boxes that small. Gwynne

Dr. Mommylonglegs: Sounds like they should all be put in quarantine! Basic rations; no alcohol for 24 hours. After which the medication should have taken effect. Then perhaps they will all try to mend their ways! Security Guard David has my permission to put them ashore if they don't agree to behave better.

Evening Cap'n - sorry to report so late for duty, but I had developed an embarrassing itch - nothing contagious though (it's peculiar to the individual, and when the antibiotics get to work I'll be fine (if a little hairy!)) I have plenty of supplies with me, winding sheets, nails, timber, disinfectant and am really looking forward to assisting Dr.Longlegs with the first p.m. anybody died yet? If you require my assistance I shall be below decks, sharpening my instruments in readiness! Mortician Jacqui DipFD MBIFD MBIE GCE BTEC (and qualified lanscape gardener!)

Gwynne u've been looking, get your own bottle of vodka i was on my way to bring you one now i've got a monk on. Dorothy that brothel and the working ladies are in a right mess i think a good hosing down an confiscate all the liquor until the Ambasador has gone would be the right thing to do, i am not open to bribery well maybe not well maybe well. David (security)

Dr Longlegs - in view of the state of the slappers health, do you think we should commandeer two of the deep freezes in the kitchen, in readiness? Although I must say that the councellor with the drink problem is likely to last for at least 6 months without immediate attention! I will be in the Medical Centre later on to discuss the ins and outs of the trade (if you'll pardon the expression) - suggest you might want to break out the bromide, once the slappers get their sea-legs! Jacqui - Blue Peter Badge Holder, RIP, GC Member, and general all round clever dickey!

Ho Hum, An early night, I think. Must catch up on my .............. sleep. I'll audition the remaining male roles for the panto over the next few days. Mr Firth is doing very well so far. It's OK David I got the vodka from the trolley dolly. Sorry I peeped and told. Nightie night all. Gwynne

I am the only one legally allowed to grant titles. You may request one and I'll see. King Dan

CAPTAIN? sorry not to have reported to you before now! have had 24 hour diarrhoea bug.so thought it best to stay in cabin? from tomorrow it should be ok.{i hope this was not because of the ships kichen} just to check with PM, does my job involve press? report for duty am mandelsonx

It was actually propert developer and King, but you can't vote for the Monarch. I do not remember you coming to me when you were voted in to exchange our pleasentries. Slipped your mind?

That's right Mommylonglegs: put that young Daniel in his place. I am so glad you have been able to copy all the info. I agree, I had the same problem with copying one of the other threads backwards from 'Latest Thread': 'fraid I'm not techie minded enough to know an easy answer. Perhaps some one else does? David (Security) is also doing an excellent job, and it sounds like Jacqui is gong to be a great asset. I hope those unruly slappers are not going to be up all night creating a din. David, I should get their quarters hosed down and disinfected before morning. We don't want the Portuguese Ambassador to be infected if he DOES come on board. Do we have a Bosun, Mommylonglegs? Apart from his disciplinary duties, the Bos'un would be required to pipe the Ambassador and his entourage on board. Any idea what's happened to the Chief Engineer, we really need a sailing report in case we get into choppy waters overnight.

You all seem against me. I fear a rebellion is on it's way. Got my eye on all of you - I

Slapper, Lady Anne - incognito - so that my grandson does'nt find out about my erm new job. Just like to say there are untold members of the crew in the brothel slutty Jean and I cannot cope with requests, we need more slappers, if only Marion was'nt such a lazy bugger. Captain mam, perhaps if you have some free time tomorrow you could help out, don't tell Doctor LL but we have Mel Gibson complete with his Kilt on, and he waggles his lad whenever asked.

King Daniel as head of security it's my remit to treat everyone as equalls, so i have everything under control, i will give you my complete loyalty, no one will harm you, i will of course expect a huge country house and 30-000acre estate when we finally get back to Blighty. Heading back to the brothel anyone seen the disinfectant, think Liz has cleared off with the so called Elf. I am watching be afraid David (security)

Thankyou Earl of Beard. A lesson to all you staff. Have fun.

Doctor LL Sending Mel over asap, just a few more waggles. David, The elf has gone nowhere, he never ever leaves the brothel or my side, If Liz has scarpered it must be with Action Dan.

Last orders ladies, gentlemen, slappers and elfs please.

Time now please ladies and gentlemen. The bar is now closed as is the salon and the classroom. All will re-open at 9 in the morning.

If i'm needed in the night i have slung my hammock in the now disinfected brothel night all David Earl of Beard (security)

Drink up now please ladies and gents or security will be getting out of their hammocks and removing you from the bar by force. I ain't washing glasses now, I'm off to bed. Who wants to tuck me in? Any offers greatfully received.