General Chat

ok......we've got plenty drink here now...managed to catch up with all the "offies" before shutting and setting sail last night.... vodka, brandy, gin, rum me heartys, bacardi, whisky - scottish and irish, malt whisky, sherry, vermouth, martini, beers, lagers, ciders, alcopops galore!!, red wine, white wine, rose wine, sparkling wine, champagne!!, ales......anything I've forgotten so I can restock at Lisbon... Did someone bring mixers or are we drinking neat!! now once we've started on the wee swallies...i'm up for a game...what we playing?? Any men on board yet that the sluts aint had???? I still got plenty viagra here... Suppose you want all your drink, viagra and men brought directly to your cabin Marion since you are No1 lazy bugger....? Anyone requiring any intellectual conversation can meet me on A deck this evening for stimulating blethers.. Jill x

Jill, I can't speak for Jean, but I hav'nt had Sean Bean not bothered by him or Daniel the sweet young thing, he's a bit busy with his articles at the moment.

as I live in southampton I can ride to the docks on my bike then with everything strapped on my back, I hope it dosn't rain!. jenny

im not going to be around at 6 so it's a buffy for you all i shall put it out just b4 6 i will be back b4 last order's at the bar. enjoy the meal see you later

Ive lost my silicon implants large round things one was being chased by a dog, anyone seen them??

Evening everybody: According to the BBC weather forecast this afternoon, we're in for a bit a rocky ride this evening (Down Jean!) there's more stormy weather heading its way to Britain and it's off the SSW coast at present. Perhaps if we head a bit further West we may avoid it, but no guarantees. Just going to check the food supplies in the Galley. Be back later. Be warned! We may get blown off course, then don't know where's we'll end up! MOMMYLONGLEGS: THanks for doing all the lists. That's great! Talk to you later!

Time to throw Admiral Dorothy overboard. She's gone crazy with power. Crazy with power I tell you! She wants to drive a lorry!

Sneaky Daniel: Who apparently needs a magnifying glass for something! I don't want to drive a lorry straight away! When I return from our lovely Cruise!

Good evening fellow utopians, its been very quiet since the call for 'scrubbers to the poop deck' went out, Jean and I have Mel Gibson (sent Mel Smith in a kilt to the doctors cabin, don't think she noticed the switch) and an elf playing tiddly winks. Hows he doing that with his hands tied up behind him. I think I'll send the weirdo back to Gwynne' Jean lol

OOOOOOOOOOh Anne, you fibber. I didn't steal the cards at all. I've been in my cabin all day with the elf who is mending my red shoes. I think we'll have dinner sent to the cabin. Gwynn

ATTENTION. Right, now I've woken from my drunken stuper of last night and I find we're all at sea.......THE BAR IS OPEN!!!!!! First drink on the house and who wants a hair cut? Ah, you AC? Viv.(Hic)

Think security dept needs to do some rounds. Large Pernod and coke please Liz

How long is it before we shipwreck ourselves?

Ice and lemon Madam?

Security check starting now, first call is Gwynnes cabin to recover those red shoes which should be in my stores, only to be signed out when required for the entertianment, what the Elfs that Elf doing with them anyway. Next call the Brothel may take some time before i get away from there. I will be watching so be afraid as there will be many body searches!! David head of security

Jean I'm hopeless at the business side I'm giving everything away for free, just enjoying my work, being very conscientious. Maybe you had better be in charge, I have to check on my grandson, hes the cabinboy you know, and Frankie my loyal but alcholic mutt.

David, You may have seen from my inventory that I have a cattle prod. I also have castration shears. Touch my elf or my shoes and you will feel my wrath where you will not like it. On the plus side you will be able to sing "Walking in the Air" on Karaoke night with no effort at all. Jean, if you read through the previous posts (when they return) you will know who is padlocked to Legolas. I can say no more........... (whisper) Jenny, do you still have the map. Gwynne

David Think you are my boss - as I also do security - Can I check the mens cabins and their trunks please? and then will get back to reception. Liz

Admiral, We don't seem to have any cabin staff. I rang for a bottle of vodka ages ago. Should we take some on board when we dock? Gwynne

David Everything at the brothel is secure, or it will be soon, Jean you slut, get up, how do your knees stand that pressure? David is passing by the brothel we need to get sorted. Security, Gwynne is having delusions you'd better go and check on her, an elf, imagine!