General Chat

(on the phone) hello is that the editor of Iland news? yes i would like to place an ad in your paper please the utopia hotel need's bar staff must be able to pull pint's & mix cocktail's must be very good with people only reliable, freindly people will be considerd please send your s/v to the bar manager bumpy utopia hotal

Ring Ring, Hello... Oh hello Jean. yes yes the girls yes ok fine WHAT OH NO NOT BIG BERTHA, Please dont tell me I've got to wax her toes, Oh no I feel so sick, where is Lou.. Its no good, I need more help. Big Bertha is going to need alot done, even I cant produce a model from that..... Her back cant be waxed, it will need to be shaved, tooooo much hair, Oh ek...

Jean, i sent you my cv earlier, have you had time to read it!!! i shaved me legs specially,

Err, Bonne Soir! Can someone pleez 'elp me? Ah am looking for ze Madam Jean, 'oo eez ze 'ead of ze scrubbers, ah understand, n'est-ce pas? 'As anybody seen 'er, plizz? FiFi la Rouge

not till the end of june. i will see that we have a wide selction of fine rose wine for your enjoyment & no i hope to have a compitant staff by then so i can do all the ordering & paper work while my staff work in the bar would you like another or would you like a bottle sent up to your appartment?

Oo eck (Yorkshire) I've scared Arthur off again. Too much time on me hands waiting for me debut at the Cabaret. Im worried now, hope Madam's Blue does'nt frighten Fred the Mamba. He is very sensitive...

Ah the Bar - hmmmm looking a little jaded at the moment. Perhaps you could ensure that there are some good wines in our cellar - when is your baby due? Are you sure you won't get too tired ? Yes, I like a good Rose Wine, goes with just about everything, I'll leave it your capable hands. [She smiles and walks on]

sorry Dorothy, it was the brooms ma'am they kept throwing themselves at me, i am just going to change

Jean as you are head of scrubbers and chamber maids in the evening, i would like to apply i am receptionist during the day but my evenings are free!! my cv states i am very good with a scubbing brush, and when it comes to the mop, well i am second to none and if anyone knows what to do with a feather boa, i mean duster i am your woman could you let me know soon please, i have a nice bucket of hot soapy water ready!!!!

um marm could i intrest you in a drink for our fine lounge bar?

Arthur... Is it my snakes that have put you off me??? or my tatoos which cover most of my body?

has andy my bar man arrived yet? i need to speak with him. oh elaine roller blades are not practical in runing a bar i see the useless work men fixed the door to the bar

Seeing Helen Excuse me, young lady, what are you doing? You look a little dishevelled - I sincerely hope that you will not be greeting our Guests looking like that!! Now, pull yourself together, there's a good girl, and see if you can contact our Chef for me, I shall continue to look around and then retire to my apartment and await my supper. She walks on .......

er hello everyone, sorry i'v been away for so long!!! got lost in the broom cupboard

hehehehehe. It certainly did go past my eyes. lol

Why thank you Arthur, I will be seeing you again?? Dont forget, the new growth can cause itchyness, so keep moisturised wont you...

could everyone call me bumpy on this thread as we will get mixed up with me & the other joanne thank you from bumpy the bar manager

Joanne!!! Arthur!!! STOP IT!!! PMSL

She spoke to me, did you hear that, SHE SPOKE TO ME... YESSSSSSS. I must leave a leaflet for her showing her what we offer in the Parlour. I'm so excited, I just cant hide it, yeah yeah yeah .

[Putting the Cat cage down she speaks to Joanne and Buttercup] Good evening!! [smiling and shaking hands] you must be part of the team here? Oh, Beauty Parlour - oh yes, you seem very efficient. And yes, of course I would want you to do my manicure - no my nails are my own thank you, just lucky like that I suppose, will you be offering massage and aromatherapy too? Snakes? Oh, are you a snake charmer - how wonderful, I love snakes you know - fascinating creatures - so aloof aren't they? I've often thought I might like one for a pet, but I don't think Mr. Blue, here would approve!! Tell me, is Dr. Longlegs about do you know? I really would like to speak to her, and learn how the recruitment is going. Have you seen the maintenance men yet? Unfortunately I got held up at the stupid car-hire company who wanted to fob me off with some dreadful 4-wheel thing - so practical and ugly - well, I'll just wander and have a look around. I hope that our Chef has arrived, because I could do with having some supper prepared and brought to my apartment. If you see her would you tell her I'm looking for her. [Picking up the cat, she walks on slowly].