General Chat

Gazing with horror at the Gardener's bare red legs.....My my Miss Maggie the Gardener.....your legs are like....the Tundra....Brings me back to when I was in Russia with the Dancing Bear......

*Fat Lady yawns... loudly and gets up from her chair, walks toward the bulletin board and starts writing out instructions for Sassy* Sassy, As of tomorrow the breakfast menu must be more complete to give the guests a variety of choice. You have a busy night ahead of you taking stock and making a list of what needs replacing. Don't forget to put in an order of Mr. Blue's favorite smoked Salmon. Fat Lady Cook

Me thinks the position has been filled Neville - but, just in case I am incorrect, put forward your credentials for scrutiny George the Parson

Can I be Head of Entertainments please? Reference available at www(.)Comedystampede(.)info. Click on The Herd. Me lotions packed and waiting to go! Nev

Daisy sneaks a puff and takes her glass through to the back saying 'Just need to er work on the menu through here for a while, HIC. Back later. HIC' Trips over a crate of mixers and lands on the floor holding glass aloft 'It's ok - didn't spill a drop. HIC' Daisy

What was that, downing drink in one. Oh my goodness.....sits down very quickly and misses the stool. Maggie

Sorry Sheila, the stuff's a bit strong at the moment, until I get the measure of Boris's wee - once that's sorted so shall we be - come on Maggie Gardiner, give us a kiss!!!! George

OOOOOhhhh me too! Reminds me of the time I worked in Morocco as a Belly Dancer....yes I know they have plenty but they wanted someone quintessentially English.... mmmmmmmm

Maggie standing in the ladies. Ok I think I look a bit more presentable now. Oh no the sink has about half a ton of mud in it. Oops the floor is a wee bit mucky. Wonder if anyone will notice. Oh I dont care, I need another drink, at least I'm not so filthy now. Maggie

I think, as it's the signature cocktail the recipe should be kept under wraps. I would love to try a Volcano - I don't really drink you understand, but in the interests of the job I feel I should try it. Daisy

Thanks Eleine, I really needed that, downs it in one. I'll have another please. But will go and have a quick brush up in the ladies first, didnt realize I was quite so bad. Runs out blushing furiously. Maggie

G'day ladies - fancy a fag? George ambles into Reception, nochalantly smoking a ciggie (rather loosley packed roll up) By golly that plant looks lovely, that one there with the red bits - oooops, silly me that's the gardiner - has she had too much sun?

~ Daisy breezes in smoothing her hair, clutching her file, taking in a number of rather drunk people propping up the bar ~ Elaine I see the Crazy Daisies are going well. Any ideas for the new cocktail menu. How about 'Utopia'? Signature cocktail for the Hotel. Daisy

Nooooo not at all, Im just a bit distracted, Ive spent the past couple of hours tying up a mad plant, and it almost got the better of me. ( Babbles on a bit more about man eating plants, and making no sense at all ) Feminine... well if you think you can, go ahead, not done any of this female stuff before always been to busy digging and planting. Hmm might make me look nice. Well better than I do. Oh go on then give me the full works. Im in your hands. Maggie

Just thought you might like something...well...feminine???? I mean you are rather hot and sweaty from your labours... and well you're looking a bit.....rough, shall we say??? (Where is that Joanne, I'm not up to this grovelly stuff...) oh dear I think I have offended Miss Handsinmuck...tee hee

A what.... wax... what wax. Maggie

Eyes up Maggie's legs which appear to be rather.... hirsute.....Fancy a wax and polish ducky? she asks winningly.....

Maggie dashes into the bar looking very hot and sweaty. I need a very large drink NOW.... Maggie

George (rather indignantly) Well, strike me with a roo's wickeroo - what a tarty old tart that was - strikes me she could do with a taste of old Boris - or Boris could do with a taste of 'er more like! chortle, chortle. I see they still have them stinking lilies on the desk - cat's pee they smell of - sooner have Boris's wee wee - I swear it's making that Cannabis grow - thinking of which, might go and harvest a few leaves - that Surfer chap looks like he might be a likely punter!! Off trundles George into the garden, in search of the weed!

Where is that receptionist and why does she not answer the phone.? How am I suppose to know if Mrs D. is in.? Oh Well! I shall make up a tray and leave it on the trolley. *Fat lady slams down the phone in anger *