General Chat

has everyone gone to sleep or did i miss something?

good afternoon umm let's see i think it's warm anough to open the patio door's today now then where are the patio things ar yes in the shed now which key is it, i dont think im going to be able to carry it myself i'll call the handy man yhoo yes you i would like some help please ? oh thank you just over there will do nicely i'll run my bar snack idea passed the boss & see what she think's

****STANDARD BARBEQUE BUFFET LUNCH**** MEAT Pork Kebabs Peppered Sirloin Steaks Beef Shaslicks - skewers of tender beef and vegetables basted with a tangy soy sauce. Tandoori Chicken - skewered and served with a minted yoghurt. Gourmet Sausages - selection includes bratwurst, choriço and portland beef. Lamb Chops - brushed with garlic infused olive oil, oregano and lemon juice. Hamburgers - lean beef mince burgers mixed with finely diced fresh vegetables. VEGETARIAN Vegetable Shaslicks - bite size pieces of skewered asian vegetables with bean curd marinated in a light soy. Vegie Burger - made with fresh organic produce. SEAFOOD Tiger Prawns - whole market fresh prawns smothered with a garlic butter and served with lemon wedges. Calamari - tender strips, marinated in chilli, lemon juice and ginger. Grilled Baby Trout Fillets - topped with lemon and orange zest. Salmon & Lemon Grass Parcels served hot in foil Garlic Bread VEGETABLES Corn Wheels - brushed with butter and chives. Field Mushrooms - brushed with butter and chopped parsley. Mixed Bell Peppers, Eggplant, Zucchini - slow cooked in a chilli herb marinade. Onion Rings - caramelised with fresh garlic. Desiree Potatoes - lightly seasoned and cooked crispy on the char. Jacket Potatoes and Garlic Bread SALADS Caesar Salad - crisp lettuce, bacon, croutons tossed in a creamy anchovy dressing. Mixed Garden Salad - cherry tomatoes, cucumber, baby carrots and corn tossed together with a lemon vinaigrette. Traditional Potato Salad - freshly diced desire potatoes mixed with shallots and a homemade mayonnaise garnished with fresh parsley. Penne Pasta Salad - mushrooms, broccoli, baby spinach and pine nuts mixed through al dente penne pasta. Coleslaw - mixed red & green cabbage with carrot, spring onion and home-made mayonnaise. DESSERTS Strawberries & Cream Selection of Gateau Cheesecake Profiteroles with Toffee Sauce Exotic Fruit Salad German Chocolate Cake smothered in Coconut White Chocolate Cheesecake and Apricot Compote ****All Drinks to be ordered from the Bar**** HEAD CHEF Fat Lady

(Bec heads back to her room after a very satisfying Breakfast...) Must hurry and get back, need to find out EXACTLY what happened last night with the Sheik... if only I'd been in the casino rather than in bed... OMG what is that plant?? It just tried to bite me... and I've dropped all those bagels and crossiants that I'd hidden up me jumper... tut! Preston will not be pleased... Becx (Caisno Manager)

*checks register* Hmmm. Someone seems to have left without paying. Where are the receptionists? Gwynne (ents)

Well! It's better then mine! Black decaf coffee and tomato juice :-))

Is that all there is for brekkie??? B O R I N G, B O R I N G, B O R I N G!!! (lol)

Good Morning All, The sun is just rising on this beautiful Island. The breakfast menu is listed below. I will be off shift very soon, so enjoy your day if I don't see you. Fat Lady Cook - I will do an inventory tomorrow night. I know that there is quite a bit of stock that we need. That plant in reception. When I was walking past tonight it growled at me. I threw it a can of salmon and it ate it, can and all. It then gave out the loudest belch I have ever heard!! The purred - awwwww. I think the plant likes me. It is the only one around at this time of night so we get along great. I will have to name it. Has anyone advertised for the night shift for the various positions? I thought that this was a 24 hour resort? Have a good day, I'm just off to my kip. SASSY *UTOPIA HOTEL BREAKFAST MENU* CHILLED JUICE Orange, Tomato, Prune, Pineapple, Cranberry. Grapefriut, Apple. ********* FRUIT Sliced Bananas with cream Orange Sections Stewed Prunes Grapefruit Halves Assorted Fruit Yogurt ********* COLD CEREALS Bran Flakes Rice Krispies Corn Flakes Shredded Wheat ********* FROM OUR BAKERY Croissants Bagels Assorted Danish Pastries Toast Fruit Muffin Bran Muffin Orange Marmalade, Strawberry Preserves, Apricot Preserves, Honey. ********** UTOPIA SPECIALTIES Eggs Benedict - Poached Eggs, Ham and Hollandaise Sauce, presented on an English Muffin. Banana pancakes, Buttermilk Pancakes, Blueberry Pancakes French Toast. Served with Maple Syrup. OMELETTES Plain, Cheese, Fine Herb, Ham, Smoked Salmon and Onion. *********** EGGS 'SERVED YOUR WAY' Boiled, Basted, Fried, Poached, Scrambled. ************** FISH SELECTION Smoked Salmon and Chream Cheese, Broiled Kippers. ************** SIDE ORDERS Ham, Pork Sausage, Bacon, Hash Brown Potaoes ************** BEVERAGES Coffee- Regular and Decaffinated, Tea, Herb Tea, Hot Chocolate, Milk. SASSY - Assistant Cook.

Wow!!! What a trip!!!!! But where did those camels get to?? And what is the meaning of life?? And how many aliases can I have without having a complete nervous breakdown?? So many questions......think I will look around for a wotsit, husband....Then maybe I wont have to keep cavorting around flaunting my 56 ins chest.. But..brightens up....that Maggie the Gardener looks good...the Botox worked!!!! She reminds me of Nicholas Parsons.....

Sneaks out of the ladies where she has been hiding all day trying to get used to her new look. (had builders in and was babysitting) Runs into the kitchen and grabs handfuls of food which she hastily stuffs into mouth. Takes a couple of camel ribs and tosses them to very large strange red pot shaped plant. Plant savages ribs, and spits out bones.

Mumbling to herself as she counts her animals Two hundred and ninety eight, two hundred and ninety eight...... hang on, I'm short a couple of camels.... that's funny, what was on the menu this evening? Camels' tongues and eyes???? Wait 'til I find that Fat Lady Cook. There'll be something else on the menu for brekkie. I didn't escape that gaol in darkest Africa without learning a few tricks. And a 'Huggus' shark to add to my collection! They look particularly good in a frame with all the pretty butterflies....ha ha ha...I've got my eye on Cora!

Yet again another mouthwatering menu! Think I'll have the salmon... wonder if I could sneak another portion... need to feed Pr... I mean I may be peckish later... Becx (Casino Manager) (WHO DOES NOT HAVE PRESTON THE WATERSPORTS CO-ORDINATOR TIED UP IN HER ROOM!)

Duh duh, duh duh, duh duh, duh duh - Fat Lady Cook - you been masquerading as a Great White????????lol there seems to be a lot of Camel on the Menu tonight!!!

********DINNER MENU******** SOUP Crayfish and Orange Soup Made from fresh crayfish, garlic, parsley, mussels from the West Coast Double Chicken Consommé with Vermicelli Roasted Garlic Bisque with Rosemary Jellied Beef Consomme Madrilene with Celery Julienne Spring Vegetable Soup Made from lean smoked ham, broad beans, fresh peas, garlic, basil and onion served with fresh country health bread STARTERS Oysters wrapped in smoked salmon Garnished with tomato, freshly snipped chives and herbs from the garden. Pancakes with Mangoes Golden brown pancakes filled with large fragrant mangoes and flamed with Grand Marnier Wine Camel Tongue with Caper Sauce Simmered for hours to perfection and served with Jellied Camel eyes. Pastry cases filled with snails in a delicious cheese sauce. Jumbo Shrimp Cocktail with Calypso Sauce SALAD Radicchio, Boston Lettuce and Tomato Thousand island Dressing, or Low-Fat Italian Caeser Salad FISH Salmon Fillets cooked with champagne King Prawns cooked in Roquefort cream and fresh herbs, served with fresh string beans and rice Stir-fried Squid with fresh garden vegetables, served with a rich sauce made of sherry and spring onion Sea Bass in a Parsley-Crumb Coat Sautéed Fish Fillet in a Light Brown Sauce with a variety of Vegetables MEAT Chicken and vegetable kebabs Served with a cold piquant sauce of your choice. Roast Stuffed Duck, Stuffed with golden brown camel livers, garlic, thyme, lean pork, pepper and served with crispy garden vegetables in olive oil Chicken filled with garden vegetables Served with red peppers, herbs,basil rice mushrooms and cream. Prime Rib au Camel with Grilled Tomato, Sugar Snap Peas and Baked Potato British Classic Lamb Chop Served with Mint Green Peas and Balmoral Potatoes VEGETARIAN Artichoke Pie Double-Crust Layered Pizza DESSERTS Frozen Mango yogurt with Strawberry and Pistachios A Duet of White and Dark Chocolate Mousses with Chocolate Curls Lemon Lime Soufflé with Orange Sabayon Vanilla Bavarois with fresh strawberries A delicious sponge cake garnished with halved strawberries and fresh cream Pumpkin Pie, Made from fresh cooked pumpkin, ginger, nutmeg and served with cream Cheesecake, Served with rosettes of cream Apple Crumble with Whipped Cream Hazelnut Cake, Sprinkled with fresh chopped hazelnuts and made from brown sugar Assorted International Cheese and Crackers Monterey Jack, American Goat Cheese, Wisconsin CheddarYellow American Red and White wine of your choice Coffee and Brandy HEAD CHEF Fat Lady

'ere Zoo Lady - I think that shark has got the hump!! get it?? got the hump!!! chorttle chorttle..................... I think I'll just wend me way over the jetty as I think I see a new boat mooring up - let's see if there's anyone interesting about to alight - yer never know, someone might want their sprog dipping, their knots tying or their toes pointing upwards................. George

Waking up from her trance....O Lawdy lawdy its the Huggis Sharticus as I live and breathe!!!!!! Have'nt seen one of those since I was Dymphna the Dolphin trainer in Miami.....Oops there goes one camel.....oops there goes another...Ah well ye win some ye lose some...Where was I in my psychedelic dreaming.... ahhhhhhhhhh

What 'rests' Zoo Lady? Your smelly animals will have to wait in line for Boris and Mr Blue to have first choice. Then there is that Giant Venus Fly Trap in reception that has a hollow stomach, which needs constant feeding, or he nips at the guests. Fat Lady Cook

G'day Zoo Lady!!! George here. I don't know if you are aware,, but one of your camels has just been sucked under by a Great White - Huggus Sharticus, as we call 'em, back home - not interested? oh well, please yourself, but it's coming back for seconds!!!

She is floating...floating....her enormous lungs have kept her afloat....the camels are quietly paddling.....the sun is shining down...all is peaceful.....UNTIL.......

Front of shop is more lucrative than hairdressing. Think I'll hang around till they are all drunk again!! Made quite a likking yesterday. Deanna ;-O)