General Chat

3 friends have lost children over the years. 1 at 6 weeks to SIDS. One on Dec 28th a few days after his 2nd birthday as a result of choking and the 3rd was at 22 months as a result of choking. I still think of them so I don't know how the parents get by. Judy, best wishes for your neice and hope you soon hear some good news about her. Jacky :-) PS SIDS - Sudden Infant Death Sydrome - or Cot Death.

My S I L lost 2 of her children a boy of 29 been in a hospice 7 years with a brain tumour and a girl of 34 with a brain hearmouridge(spelling) she left hubby and 2 little boys the youngest one was only 4 Linda

My brother lost his 10 year old some years back in a horrific accident. They never recovered from this. I think you continue living but part of you dies too.

Before I was born my Mum had a baby girl my elder sister Linda she would have been eldest.She lived 3 months and died of what they would say now a cot death! In my research on here I have the birth certificate and the death certificate. It upsets me so when I look at my dear Dad's name to witness both events, I think about my Dad being so proud getting the birth certificate of his first born and then a short time later going for a death certificate it is so unfair isn't it. Davex

Hi Gwyn and Dave, Almost the same story as you Gwyn. Our God daughter died at 6 months on Dec 28th 18 years ago. The family lived 3 doors down from us and I will never forget the screams of grief or that dreadful day as we sat waiting for the doctor. Gwynne

Dave I agree that no matter what the age, it hurts so much to lose a child. Mum was devastated to lose my older brother 12 years ago and asked why it couldn't have been her that was taken instead. My sister and her husband lost their first baby at 10 weeks old, -unexplained infant death syndrome.It was just days after Christmas so that is always a bitter sweet time in our family. I feel for all who lose a child, but feel that sometimes the menfolk don't receive the same support and concern that is extended to the ladies. The hurt can be very real for them too.

Oh Judy how very very sad,for your niece your family and you,how often that sort of thing as happened here too!Police responding to incidents! So sorry for the loss of your niece's baby but I pray that she recovers. Davexx

I come from a VERY large family....and over the years have we have been fortunate, however this past week we lost an much loved, and anticipated baby girl......the story follows as the newpapers reported it this past Thursday......Sarah, my niece, does not yet know we have lost our angel as she is still in a coma as I write: Woman loses fetus in crash Thursday, March 31, 2005 Deptford police cruiser broadsides her vehicle By JASON NARK Courier-Post Staff DEPTFORD A Pitman woman lost her unborn child and was seriously injured after her vehicle collided Wednesday morning with a township patrol car responding to a call, authorities said. Sarah Donovan, 24, who was eight months pregnant, remained in critical condition Wednesday night at Cooper University Hospital in Camden, Deptford Police Chief John Marolt said. She was undergoing exploratory surgery to identify the source of internal bleeding, Marolt said. Patrolman Michael Taylor, a 12-year veteran, was treated for his injuries and released from Cooper. Donovan was driving north on Delsea Drive and was making a left into the Brunswick Zone bowling alley when Taylor's northbound cruiser hit the driver's side of her Mazda 626 around 10:30 a.m., Marolt said. Taylor's cruiser drove the Mazda through a utility pole, snapping it, and an additional 30 yards onto a grassy area, Capt. Dan Murphy said. Barry Marchetti, who was at the United Auto Land used-car dealership across the street, said he ran over to help the woman. 'I was trying to talk to her and keep her calm. Nothing heavy . . . simple stuff,' said the 62-year-old minister and retired tractor-trailer driver. 'I was also praying for her.' When he reached Donovan's car, Marchetti said she was unconscious but still buckled into her seat belt. He said Donovan had blood on her face from her smashed eyeglasses and both legs pinned inside the crumpled wreckage. She was in and out of consciousness, he said. Marchetti's eyes welled up when he learned Donovan had lost her unborn child. He said he comforted her for at least 10 minutes before paramedics arrived.

We lost our first grandchild, he only lived 6 hours, and it was the most painful time of our lives, there is not a day goes by without my thinking of him, and the look of absolute hurt in my sons eyes will haunt me all my days, and it's been over 7 years now. Belle.

Thank you Joseanne! I guess we are lucky in the fact that we know we can have children together as we have Kian who is 6months old. Guess it just wasn`t mean to be right now!!!

Kimberley - don't put your son in a glass case - let him be like his friends, and play out where it is safe to do so, just teach him to be sensible, safety conscious and responsible. You will be doing him an injustice by holding him to your apron strings, one day he will have to do things by himself and it is better for him to know the pitfalls than be totally naive. He is far more likely to come to harm if you don't let him learn for himself. I lived in fear when my son was born, after losing Zoe, I couldn't believe I finally had a live baby at home. I used always to be checking he was breathing etc but as he grew I realised he was entitled to live a normal life and he was not responsble for my happiness or peace of mind so I had to let him go free. I taught him how to cross the road safely and what was o.k. and what was not, and he survived it all and had a great time. He went to Beavers,and Cubs etc, and I can remember once going to a meeting at the Cub campsite, where he had been for the weekend, and he pointed to a tall wooden structure and told me he'd abseiled down it the day before!! I was just glad I knew afterwards and not before. Let your boy be a boy and cross your fingers my love - he'll thank you for it later.

Kerry if you read this, I know how you feel, I miscarried into double figures, so could say I'm an expert, but that makes my daughter all the more special, she survived, and our son so special by the way he came to us. Don't give up hope. Josie

cant reply all this is heartbraking .... bringing back my past and my future with cancer.. God I hope if the worst ever came My Husband will look after him... I hate all this talk I am not replying no more Sorry Kim

Kimberley my daughter had a miscarriage 6 years ago and it took her a long time to get over,She has a lovely little girl now Neve who is 4. Davex

My Heart goes OUT to all... I have had 4 miscarriages 3 at the early stage and 1 at 7 months.... I have a son now who is 10 and I still wont let him play out. Am i being fair or over protecting... I am getting a lump in my throat as I wish all my love to those who have suffered or who are Suffering now

Yes, I should have a grown up daughter now. Thirtyone years ago my Zoe was born when I was only 30 weeks pregnant and she weighed just 1 lb 10 oz. and lived for only 3 days. Things were not like today, where so much more can be done for little scraps like her, and I was so shellshocked I didn't even think of taking a photograph so have nothing to remember her by, except a tiny grave to visit. Nowadays at least, the nurses take photos, footprints, and such which must help a little. It was so hard to tell anyone when they saw my bump had gone. I was in a daze for at least a year or more but gradually life goes on and you think of them a little less than constantly. Time truly does ease the pain a little. I do have my lovely son now, but still envy mums who have daughters to share the girly things with. Harder still must be the loss of children whatever age when the death is needless, as in stupid accidents and so on. I know several people who have lost older sons or daughters and I never know what to say to comfort them. Treasure your kids, however much they drive you up the wall, just always remember to tell them you love them when you part.

thank god,it has'nt happened to me. but i see young children die,in my job,and its something you never really get over,your thoughts are always with the parents...sooo sad. bryan.

My aunty lost her daughter aged 6months this was about 35 yrsago she had the main chamber of her heart missing and had a heart attack everyday for 6months only mild ones till the final massive one which killed her she then got pregnant 2 more times and they died inside her she finally had a son who is 30 now and she is very protective of him if not to over ,but to her he is the most prescious thng on earth like everybodys child my grandmother remembers Amandas death like it was yesterday how my aunty kept her at home and knitted for her and dressed her in her coffin telling my nan look she is so warm but it was her hand that my aunt had held the whole week she was lieing at home

I cant get my head round how people must feel when burying a child it is so unfair isnt it?people should be born grow up get married have children and grandchildren if they are lucky. Not bury a child before they die themself, their children should bury them that is the proper order of things isnt it?

my god daughter and my friends only grandaughter had her life taken away at 18 monthes old.the loss of a child is something you can never fully get over. luv deb.x