General Chat

My sister lost a son at 6 months due to de-george syndrome - he would be 10 now. I lost twins - early stages of pregnancy in between my first and second sons!! I have to say the sight of my nephews tiny coffin is something I never want to see again! Tracy x

Oh jean thats terrible. To lose one child is tragic, to lose two ? the pain would be indescribable

Oh Jean losing two children so young how on earth did your cousin cope with that tragedy! Dx

Jim that is so poignant God bless little Esther Davex

We lost a daughter at three months of age. She was born with a massive heart defect, and various other problems such as a short leg and a hernia. We were fortunate enough to have her at home for some time, but when she caught a chest cold the Hospital decided to take her in and operate, although she was the youngest they had ever tried it on. They fixed her plumbing, but the shock was too much for her little body to take and she died. Her Brothers and sisters have a Pilgrimage to Esther's graveside for a family picnic on her Birthday which is coming up on the 15th of April. She would have been 29 this year. After she died I wrote this:- For Esther We had a child so beautiful that God would not agree To let her stay and suffer in this world like you and me; So He has called her home to be a sunbeam in his town, A flower in His garden, and a jewel in His crown. We were very sad to lose her, but we know that He knows best, And thank Him that our faith stood up to this bitter test. We know that He will call us too to see His town, The flowers in His garden and the jewels in His crown. If we’ve been true and faithful through our allotted span, And served our Master faithfully in every way we can, It’s then He will return to us that rainbow from His town. That flower from His garden, that jewel from His crown. Throughout all eternity we’ll share our life with her With all our children, and our dear and loved ones who’ll be there; To share with Him who made us the beauties of His town, And each one have a garden, and each one wear a crown. From Daddy with love.

Yes, my daughter lost a twin at birth, only one survived. The surviving one will be 22 on 6 April, so extra special day for us. Sylvia xxx

So many sad stories here Devonshire so unfair about the little girl Emma when life is dragged away from an innocent child, and Jenny's sister so sad and all of you who have experienced miscarriages and cot deaths,So very very sad how anybody can deal with that I dont know. Its was really bad for us when my daughter had miscarriage 6 years ago it took us a long time to bring her round after it.! Dave

I'd just like to say that I can empathise with the loss of those that have lost children. We lost our first child through premature birth (21 weeks, officially classed as a miscarriage, but not in my mind), and our situation with regard to our second child is not as it should be. I agree, that there's no loss more painful.

Morning All This thread has really got to my heart in a different way, some of you may have read my thread (please say a prayer) and know of my very good friend Holly's fight for life in I T U this week, her devasted parents kept saying yesterday that it shouln't happen to a child and it should be them lying there now in a hospital bed.......for parents to go such an awful thing is incomprehensible. Holly this morning is continuing to open her eyes but remains on a ventilator we have spent all weekend there playing her favourite music and reading all the latest celeb gossip to her (something she loves!!) We are praying everyday for a little sign our Holly is trying to come back to us. Sarah x

My daughter lost her baby in 2001 at 51/2 months due to a chromosonal disorder...although she wasnt yet born it has had a devastating affect on all the family. Her big sister, now 5, still talks about her baby sister in heaven. She now has a baby brother who she is very protective of. Vickie

My SIL and husband lost a baby to cot death. It was over 35 years ago I believe, she still says she is a mother of 4 children. The way it just trips off her tongue, is in itself heart rending. God Bless all in the situation. What could be worse? Nothing! Deanna X

When I was fifteen, my twelve years old sister died of Kidney disease. It was expected, but still came as a shock to us all. Just dont know how my Mum coped with it all. Especially as she had six other children to look after. I have had six miscarriages. The last two being especially traumatic, as my husband, had never been married before and has no children. We were devasted when I miscarried twice in 12 months, at 12 weeks. Jenny.

My mum was adopted when she was 4, and my gran was forced to give her up because my great-gran, who was widowed, couldn't afford to support both of them. My gran later married and emigrated to Canada. In the meantime, when mum was 21, her adoptive parents put her in touch with her grandmother, but her grandmother kept her and her mum totally apart for the next 30 years. They finally met after my great-gran had died, and my gran flew over here. Mum intended to visit her too, but she became ill and died a couple of years later. My gran was, and still is devastated, 15 years later. She always tells me how sad she feels to have lost her baby twice over, and that the grieving has lasted a life time. Even more poignant is that she married twice, losing her first husband 3 days before the end of world war 2, but couldn't have any more children.

I went though the I.VF. programme and had 2 healthy eggs put into my womb and lost one of the babies- i felt for my daughter because a few weeks ago at school they had a nurse in talking abou the facts of life and having a baby.At the end of the talk the children were asked by the nurse who had a brother or sister-my little girl put her hand up i said she should have had a brother or sister but it died in mummy womb and some of the children called her a liar-she was so upset that i had a word with the nurse, and the out come was that the nurse did go back an explain to the children about different ways of having a baby. MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH EVERYONE WHO HAS LOST A BABY AT NO MATTER WHAT AGE. Lizz xx

Bev that was beautiful, I am sat here in tears!

We lost a much wanted fifth Grandson in 2000. he was 'born asleep' prematurely. had he gone full term he would only have lived a few months, he had Edward's Syndrome, a chromosome imbalance. It was devastating for our son and his wife and for us, his Grandparents and he is never forgotten. I have to praise Milton Keynes hospital here as they were marvellous and we have his photo to keep. Sometimes people forget that grandparents can hurt too. Maybe we get a double dose of hurt. We lose a Grandchild and we can't heal the hurt our children suffer. I feel so much for the raw pain that is expressed here, I am so sorry for all of you who have lost much wanted children, either before or after birth, as children or adults. Ann Glos

hi dave, my sister lost her little girl at the age of 2. this is going back over 40yrs... i dont think my mother ever got over it.... couldnt make any sence of it. i was a kid myself then, i remember the atmosphere for years.we learned never to mention my little neices name,and hedged the subject fearing the pain would return and somehow we would appear callous . our family never could talk openly. i am sure looking back my sister would have prefered us to have carried on appraising her beloved child, and included her in conversation asserting the value of her treasured rememberance. she had more children, but the thing that got me most about all this is when asked people just say i have one child, or three children etc. and dont mention those they lost like it never happened. i think i would want to say- i have three surviving children. and that would leave it open to talk about those who were born, but lost ???? perhaps we are more open about our feelings today ??? sad subject dave..but your right to make us think about these things..it makes it worse to bottle things up ,rather than face it..... xkx

That is lovely Bev Davex

Don't let them say I wasn't born, That something stopped my heart I felt each tender squeeze you gave, I've loved you from start. Although my body you can't hold, It doesn't mean I'm gone, This world was worthy not of me, God chose that I move on. I know the pain that drowns your soul, What you are forced to face. You have my word, I'll fill your arms, Someday we will embrace. You'll hear that it was 'meant to be God doesn't make mistakes,' But that won't soften your worst blow, Or make your heart not ache. I'm watching over all you do, Another child you'll bear, Believe me when I say to you, That I am always there. There will come a time, I promise you When you will hold my hand, Stroke my face and kiss my lips, And you'll understand. Although I've never breathed your air, Or gazed into your eyes That doesn't mean I never 'was' An angel never dies.

Losing a child is something you never forget, also I have never forhotten one I lost before he was born. I worry about these girls that have abortions, I know sometimes there is no alternative, but how will they feel in later life? June xx