General Chat

Thank you Madam Baroness Etches yes I was returned I beat off the threat of the Loony Party and their leader has resigned this afternoon well done all of you I had a majoroty of 120,000 easy really. DB PM

Well done PM - we have won again (not that there was any doubt). I personally returned a record number of votes, with my usual landslide majority (the free fags works a treat, as I told you) I was surprised that my nearest opponent had one more vote than normal (3 instead of 2) but on enquiring it appeared that some daft old codger wandered into the polling station, grabbed an election slip, marked his cross and buggered off - he actually thought he was placing a bet on the 3.30 at Cheltenham and was in the bookies! The champagne flowed like water, a good time was had by all and we must now look to the future - but first, a few well earned weeks on the fact finding mission to the Maldives (apparently their level of crime is miniscule, and their health service second to none)..................................see you later. Jacqui Chancellor and Baroness of Provonce

hurrah for D BENNETT PM :-) BARONESS JOY OF THE PURBECKS

Your honour, Am I the Sally that has been made baroness? If so I am very honoured. If not congratulations. Drinks are on me!!!

Hic, Gwynne

Morning Ministers just snatched a few hours we are returned Bennett&Bear&Babes are returned Thank you all the hard work on the Hustings have been worth while.! Deputy get the high heels out (white) lets celebrate.! DB PM! x

XXXXXXX D BENNETT :-) BARONESS JOY OF THE 'PURBECKS

Thank you Joy I have been to vote for myself of course! Dave PM

Vote D BENNETT Vote D BENNETT Vote D BENNETT :-) BARONESS JOY OF THE 'PURBECKS

Vote early, vote marsupial. Skippy

Go back to your constituencies and prepare for government. Gwynne

Morning Ministers todays the day Im sure we will returned to power of courseToday we will all be busy in our contituencies,There has recently been a threat to us from the Fraggle Rock party but I am sure we will see off that menace like we did the Kangaroo's and the Leprechauns.The exit polls say we are sure be returned but in my own particular case I am not very popular in the south for some reason.Rupert I hope Lady Bear is well and able to help you be returned as the Member for Nuttwood today and also my deputy Gwynne is returned in the Midlands,as I hope all the rest of my ministers are.Just one last thing watch out for the Fraggles! David Bennett PM.

So glad you are all hard at work on the hustings I myself think I will be returned handsomely Im so popular on here especially the 'southern vote' and I have people actively campaigning for me as we speak.We seem to have overcome our problems with the little people and the kangaroo's as well. So ministers and members go for it 2 days to go only. Dave PM

fellow right hons i am off tomorrow for a fact finding tour of Cyprus & Egypt only to see how the health sevice there works you understand i assume i will be able to charge this trip to expenses??????? oh and a few extras the St Tropez/manicure? Bev minister for health

Prime Minister, Rupe and all!!! I have been at the hustings until quite late every night for the past two weeks, and I can tell you I am really tired! I have had no sleep and am thoroughly fed up with kissing pensioners, patting housewives on the head and reading the riot act to toddlers!! I think I have secured my position in my constituency - Big Brenda has promised a full turn out of her mates and each one has been warned (err.... I mean advised) that the X has to be against my name. My only serious opponent, Robinson Smythe-Wychenshawe III (the local Communist party) has seen fit to campaign in a rather dirty manner - calling into question my past involvement with the rhubarb-forcing debacle (anyone can make a mistake - I didnt realise that too much rhubarb in the community has the effect of closing down the local sewerage plant effectively!!) A means to a end, after all! However, there is no contest and he is well aware of this and will no doubt concede once his gran and girlfriend have cast the only votes he's likely to get! Fear not PM, if one seat is safe it's mine - 40 fags works a treat with Big Brenda - have you tried this method? I dont bother with posters and flyers any more - hand out the fags and larger No doubt the rest of the party are hard at work and will report in as and when they get time. The Chancellor - Jacqui of Provonce

Yes the babies dont like me kissing them Rupert think it is the booze lol! Dave

Rupert, Won't Beaky be with the rest of them? He hasn't left and joined the Raving Loonies or Ukip has he? Gwynne

Prime Minister, Have we got a group joining us for the big day nameley Dave Dee Dosey Mick and Titch. Am I with you the only ones running our campaign which ends tomorrow. I have not seen much of the rest of the cabinet but no doubt they will join us for the big celebrations. Off to do a bit more kissing of mothers they like itv the babies dont. Rupert.

Good morning Dave and Dee, My previous post proves I'm a very able politician, I believe. Gwynne

Very Apt indeed Dee Dx