General Chat

Julia, It sounds like you have had a great deal to worry about with the birth of each child. It was not my intention to upset people when i posted this message and i do hope that i havent. It sounds to me like you did everything you could for your babies and in the end medical needs dictated feeding habits.

I wanted to breast feed my first son but I was not asked when he was born and the midwife took him an gave him his first feed without asking me she even decided what he should be feed on. I was very disappointed but to naive to say anything so I did as I was told. My second was born at 31 weeks so for the first 4 weeks I expressed and then as soon as he was able (with a gr8 deal of support) I feed him till he was 13 months old and then he drank from a cup. My third was born at 28 weeks and again I expressed until he was able to breast feed but he was very ill and spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals on and off ventilators and my milk started to dry up (although I was told that stress can stop the flow of milk it did not really help with the guilt). by the time he was 6 months old he only weighed 3lb 10 and was put on special feeds as he could only take 1/2 oz of milk hourly. (so really even if my milk had not dried up I still would not of been able to feed him myself) My fourth was born at 26 weeks and again I expressed till he was able to feed himself. He was on oxygen for 18months and at 6 months we found he had brittle bone disease again I blamed myself for not providing 'good' milk but this time my feelings were totally brushed aside and was told he had to have formula milk and a whole load of other meds to go with it. No one ever told me it was my fault but then again I was never reassured that it was not my fault. (he has just turned 3) On the plus side most mums in the scbu tryed thier best to express milk even if they then whent on to bottles later. The was always a breast feeding nurse on all shifts if u needed them, but once your baby left scbu and was in other the care of other hospitals thats were problems began. Julia ps sorry its so long

I breast fed my daughter for about 6 months. I have to say though the first week was hell! But after that it was a doddle. When I went back to work and had to give her bottles through the day (of breast milk) she started to prefer the bottle. After 6 months I gave up and started buying Farleys. I hated messing about with breast pads at work but loved breast feeding. If I hadn't of had to go back to work I would have carried on for longer. Jack x

My brother and I were breast fed. I did it with both of my children and my daughter did it with her first and is now doing it with her second. It's so much easier as well. No sterilizing, no making up bottles and no carrying them around. I'm very glad we all did it but everyone has to to do what they are happy with. Linda

Please dont think im anti bottle.........im not anti anything.....my work involves breast feeding thats why im asking these questions. There is a great deal of info out there about bottle feeding and bottle fed babies do very well. I would never condemn anyone who wants to bottle feed. My question was about support....if and when and how it was recieved. Ann congratulations on your new arrival.......as i said in a previous message the benefits of one day of breast feeding are huge......you are doing really well.......i always think its a brave move to try something a second time that you have found so hard the first time. I wish you every success with your feeding( either breast or bottle) The most important thing is that you enjoy your new baby!

Well said Ann - please don't feel guilty. I remember only too well the early days, when it hurts and you're exhausted and the baby's crying - it's rotten and you feel very lonely! Take care and remember that what ever happens you are your baby's mother, you love her and that's all that matters :-) Helen xx

Hello everyone, I breastfed both of my daughters for 12 months, my mum breastfed me and my brother and sister so I felt it was normal to do so. I found it really painful for the first few weeks but didn't really consider any other options. I never would have fed them in public though. Louisex

Before I had a baby I niavely thought all you did was put the baby to your boob and hey presto- they would feed and everything would be wonderful!!! I was brought down to earth with my first daughter, was miserable for 4 days (and very long nights) as I could not get her to latch on, despite the excellent support of all the health workers in the hospital & community- but they could not be there to assist every feed, and it was starting to become such a barrier between us as I was dreading every feed, so I put her on the bottle- she is 3 now and bright & healthy. My second child was born just five days ago, I am feeding her myself, I felt it was important to give it another chance, but with each difficult feed I remembering why I gave up the first time round. I am still having problems getting her to latch on, it often takes ages, with lots of stopping and starting, my nipples are so sore and it is very painful to feed. I don't experience that feeling of closeness that alot of women feel as I can't wait for the feed to be over, I really hate it and I am doing it purely because I am told it is better for the baby and I want what's best for her- and to absolve some of my guilt about my failure the first time round. Last night I fell off the wagon and gave her a bottle- but it was breast milk which I had expressed- I am sure there are purists out there who would say a breast fed baby should never have a bottle- but could they then come round to my house and help with the 3 am feed when I am exhausted and desperate for sleep? As for support, I have found that in my area breast feeding is so well supported that I feel you are made to feel very guilty if you bottle feed, for whatever reason. There are posters all over the hospital saying 'breast feeding mothers welcome here'- how does that make bottle feeders feel? As for me I will perservere, mainly because I do not like to feel I was beaten by something, but I would never critisise anyone for bottle feeding, I know what it feels like and noone can make you feel more guilty than you do yourself!!!

I BREAST FED MY FIRST SON FOR 6 MONTHS HES NOW FIVE AND MY SECOND SON IS 15 MONTHS AND IM STILL BREAST FEEDING NOW

Heather....Thank the Lord for Surestart!!! Programs like this are beginning to pop up all over the place and are really worth while. I work with UNICEF and Surestart and we are trying to mainstream the services that both organisations provide so everyone will be able to access good advice and support

To all of you who stopped for any reason other than that you wanted to......please dont think you failed......you did not fail,,,,it was the health care system that failed you. We are told thet breastfeeding is natural.........its is but in no book have i ever read that its easy! We need to address the issues with our health care proffesionals and hospitals. depending on where you live in the country you can get excellent advice from some hospitals who have gain 'baby friendly' status from UNICEF. If you are interested in finding out if your local hospital is 'baby friendly' take a look at this site. www(.)babyfriendly(.)org(.)uk/tables remove commas It tells you which hospitals are baby friendly in the UK

hi my brother and i were bottle fed but i fed my eldest for six weeks had a health visitor who said i should only feed him every four hours and not having been around babies before did as i was told but then had to start giving him a bottle and he then didnt want to know with my youngest two ignored the healt visitor and breast fed on demand and i breast fed both of them until they were 13 months old my daughter breast fed her first child for 14 months and is now expecting to breast feed her second when born sometime in september, she joined our local sure start and is a qualified bosom buddy and this encourages new mums to breast feed and offer them support both at the meeting and at home Hevi

Well Done Lou..........so many babies who have specific medical needs when they are born are never breast fed. Although i know that medical staff are doing the best thay can for our babies they sometimes fail to take onboard that mother want to do it!.......it is possible to breast feed special care babies......even by cup feeding them breast milk until they are able to go to the breast. sadly a lot of these babies are given dummies which can cause nipple confusion for them......thus making it much more complicated to get them onto the breast.

i dont think i was breast fed i breast fed both of mine but only for a while my son was in intensive care and he had it via a tube

Its true that in other countries there is a lot more consistant advice given......and the numbers of breast feeding mother is a great deal higher than in the UK. in Sweden only 2% of mother DONT breastfeed.........we in the UK have one of the lowest rates in europe.

It's deffinitely true that advice varies from midwife to doctor to health care professional! Here in France there's an association of breast feeding mothers who opperate a helpline that really helped me when I was breast feeding my second and had one a two minor problems. Helenxx Ps Lol Neeta!

PMSL Neeta. Seriously though, did you get any help with drying up milk afterwards, I had to sleep with a towel round my chest when I stopped feeding my daughter but two years before that when I stopped feeding my son my doctor gave me tablets to dry up the milk. Flipping embarrassing leaking all the time.LOL Julie xxx

do you all think you recieved enough advice prior to the births? Was the advice consistant? i have found that people say they are given one thing from midwife and another set of info from the health visitor and yet another from the doctor and are not sure who to believe.........has this been your experience to?

LOL neeta.......i have a picture in my mind of that couch being stuffed!!!

Well i definately think its needed up here..my two sisters in law succsesfully breast fed there children but only through luck and no help from Healthcare workers...i remember having a visit from the midwife to my house 2 days after i left hospital and i told her that i wanted to try and breast feed him again, it was really important to me to do this and I was soo dissapointed that i failed...she said ..Oh i think youve left it too late now..you'll confuse him and you wont have the proper milk ......i knew I had milk ..they were like barrage balloons LOL...soo i didnt try and kept him on the bottle... I have to say he never suffered for it though hes perfect in everyway, in my eyes. ...its like stuffing a couch trying to feed him....