General Chat

Hiya Gals I dunno Mabe - I gets back from Canterbury Tales (I'm pickin it up ya see) and find you've gone orf to gay paree. I realise that your just tryin to go one better but I bet that 'eyefull tower' aint as 'igh as mount Snowdon, what I went up. I'm orf again on Saturday fur the weekend to see 2 plays at the theatre. Me ole mans treatin me wiv the money e got doin a job. 'E won't say what the job was though but it must ave been somefink pretty important 'cause 'E says its ush ush and tapped is nose. Catch yer when I gets back. Luv as alas - Clara x

Oh gawd blimey, guess what gals? I'm orf on sunday to French France. Me bruvvers boy is only gettin married there, bloomin strange that eh, wots wrong wiv the register office at the bottom of the road then? Kids of terday don't know 'ow ter do fings do they, I seys to 'im, why bloomin go over there, and 'e seys arnty Mabe I am gettin wed in a chato whatever that bloomin well is, and he seys, it is a bewtiful place, but boy I says is there brown ale, and he looked at me all perculiar like, and said there is wine!!! I told 'im if theres no brown ale I'll take sum in me 'oldall, carn't 'ave knees up wiv no brown ale can ya? Then 'e tells me I am flyin there, now then I seys how does them fings stay up, so 'e only tells me don't 'e, when I woke up he'd gawn!!! Wasn't gonna go but, me bruv tells me there a French men there, so I finks to meself, now then Mabe, you've never dallied wiv a French 'un, well uvver than a sailor 'o course, so I am gonna go. You lot behave yerselves and I'll tell ya all abowt it when I cum 'ome on fursday. Keep up the elocution lessons Jewel & Jenny woncha gals, and tell them hubbys I won't be about, to give them there lessons. Orrivaw, thats French fer ta-la that is, me nefew told me, 'e aint alf clever he is. See ya later gals. Mabe x x x

aksherly 'ah 'ave bin ter scotland an it wos luvverly. Bleedin cold but luvverly. Nar then Mabe ah could do wiv one o them Philarmonic's cos ah jest bin ironing all ma Bert's Dicky Dirts and 'ahm right Pat & Mick of it. Elsie

Gor blimey Charley's Pat and Mick. 'E says e's fair wore out. I mite haveta get a job 'cos e's only on commission and 'e says the bottom is falling out of the underwear market. I wonder if any of me neighbours knows where I can get a nice little office job, not too strenyouuss cos I don't want ter ruin me nail varnish. Jewel

Ol cor blimey, Maybell - bin sayin' that fer days noo..... what's it mean hen? Not quite sure when tae use it ya know, is it rude? If that Daisy had goane a wee bit mare tae the North, she may hev got tae Scotland - they're a fine lot there, thass fer sure. Ma Jimmy seems awfa tired these days - hope yer no wearing 'im out, Maybell!! He said yer told 'im, he always hed to take off his whistle and flute - I'm awfa confused, cos I've never heerd 'im play a note in me life!! Still thats awright, as long as ye didnae ask him to take of his Dickie Dirt - then I would be rrreally confused. See, am learning fast with this Cockney speak - p'raps I'll get the hang of it better than Jools.

Er Jewel luv, don't you bleedin trot anywhere. those slippers are too nice to go out in they are, I'll pop over your 'ouse in a bit, 'ave a drop a gin wiv ya, I'm just sorting out Charley boy, 'es got a problem, he can't find sumfink and I'm 'elpin 'im out :) Got sun new ryming stuff for ya Learn these and you'll be fine fort the first one would be intersetin to ya :) Canterbury tales = Wales cat & cages = wages Joe Blake = steak Pat & Mick = sick Philharmonic = Gin and Tonic (fort this would be useful) Dickie Dirt = shirt More termorrow gals, and I'd like a sentance wiv at least 2 of these cockney words in please. Mabel x x

This book is confusin' me now. Plates of meat ... equals ... feet Why ain't it Apples and Meat? *Reaches for the gin* They say you shouldn't drink alone. Praps I should go round that nice Mabel's house and see whether she fancies sharing some with me. Pore ole Charley's out researching again, 'e said not to wait up for him. *Sigh* I'll put me best slippers on and trot over to bang on Mabel's door.

Elsie, you'd best not know how yout Bert knows about me drawers, it's very personable me dear. Just you keeep sendin 'im rownd 'ere after 'is dinner, I'll give 'im 'is afters ;) Mabe x x

Knickers. So 'ow does ma Bert know you've got lots of em? Ah fink ah'm missin sumfink 'ere. Elsie

A fong, Daisy, is one of them things you don't ask about, best ya don't know, now I ain't being nasty 'ere, cos I ain't like that, just straight talkin, as yer know, but it's wot us skinny gals wear, you larger ladies need yer lucy lastic tilly drop drawers nickers, the ones that cover and 'old it all in, us skinny minnies, wear summit different, won't go into detail as the men maybe lookin in. You stick wiv yer drawers luv and we'll say no more abowt it. glad berts got a smile on 'is gob:) Mabe x x x

aksherly Mabe 'ah fink ah've polished it too much an it's gorn all bendy in the middle. Yorkshire is up norf only they say oop and uvver strange stuff an they're really difficult ter unnerstand. They doan arf know 'ow ter bake tho. I had a Yorkshire Fat Rascal - it wos all 'ot an fruity! Ta everso fer lookin after ma Bert. 'e does like 'is 'ome comforts an yer must've looked after im real good cos e's got a rite silly grin on 'is face! One fing tho. Wot's a fong? Only 'e wants ter know why I haven't got one. Sarnds like some kinda cooking tool ah reckon. 'e says you've got lots so praps yer can tell me where ah get one. Elsie

'ello gals, cor I am tired I am, had loadsa visitors today I have, funny ain't it they are all men!! Sorry abowt yer name Flo, yer look so much like yer muvver Shirl I 'ad a senior moment I did. Jenny yer English is comin on a treat it is, todays lesson is to say 6 times out loud 'ol cor blimey, we'll 'ave yer speakin proper in no tiime we will. Your Jimmy was rownd earlier, 'e was 'elpin me wiv excersising 'e was, good an all 'e is!!!! Daisy girl, you are a good 'un you are always cleaning the silver, shame you've ony got the one spoon, but it's bloomin shiny ! Bert ws fine, you may find 'im a bit tired tho luv, he done a lot of work fer me 'e did, and where the bloomin 'eck is Yorkshire, is that where the puds come from? you ain't turnin all forrin on us Daisy girl are ya? Mabe x x x

'ello gels 'ahm back. Wos ma Bert all rite wivart me Mabe? 'ah see you've 'ad a few visitors so 'ah 'ope 'e wos no trubble. Yorkshire wos luvverly. They've got 'ills an evryfink. Real pretty but bleedin cold rarnd the nevver regions! Bin cleanin me silver this mornin - felt a bit like that Bree off them Desprit 'owswives! Elsie

Hello Maybell Hev you seen ma Jimmy? He's nae cum hame yet and it's gettin near tae dinner time. I been aw round the pubs - and that Jacko lad - dunno whose man he is - sed he last saw Jimmy goin' into a hoose near you - who wud that be d'ya reckin?

Yeah Mabe , i know the one ya mean, spit it out gal,spill the beans and me name is Florrie, Shirl was me old mas name,bless er cotten socks.

Shirl gal, 'ave you seen Mildreds, 'ol man, I 'ave got principle ya know Luv! Mildred that tougue of yers will get you in trouble it will, but get kettle on luv, got summit to tell ya, you know that bloke who is married to 'er who 'angs out the big drawers, well........ Mabe

eer Mildred i saw yer old man comin outa ers this mornin,e looked a bit flushed gal.

Blinky 'ell mabe, That's the third visitor iv'e seen come owt of yer 'ouse this mornin. It's like ruddy Piccalilli Circus it is. Bleedin' wear owt yer carpet if yer not carefull. Still, yer must make a real good cup of tea, 'cos they all 'ad a smile on their mush as they left. Mildred x

Jenny dear, can you tell Jimmy not to come over 'ere til later in the morning, I am expecting a visitor in the mornin, ta luv Mabe

Hello me mates, cor blimey I am bloomin tired i am, been owt all afternoon wiv sum nice boys and gals, went fer dinner in a reserant we did, bloomin posh it was, only had a bloomin tableclowth it did, aint seen on of them in years i ain't. Jenny luv, yer chattin is comin on a treat it is, and don't worry abot Jimmy, he is doin o.k those english lessons I am givin 'im are workin!!! Well I 'ave no complaints. Jewel your Charley is a darlin 'e is, 'elpin me wiv all sorts, he is maybe a bit tired when 'e gets in, let 'im ave an hour in the chair, he'll be as good as new then. Sorry to tell ya about yer 'ol man Glady, but you know I don't like to gossip don't cha, but fort you should know, she's a scruffy mare an all ain't she, perhaps thats where yer kids got the nits from eh? Mild luv, bung me down for the clicky club, must be like bingo or summat eh, you know clickety click 66 an all that malarky, If theres free tea and cakes, I'll give it a go, love summit fer nuffink I do. Orf ta bed now, Charley maybe late 'ome tonight Jewel, he's elpin me owt wiv sumfink, thats o.k ain't it luvvie? Mabe