General Chat

whats then Bec? You met? xx lol

oh thanks for that mike ! why so stressed over people you have not met >? does it matter ? i do not understand you either ! sue.

Sue, Just concerned that others don't get hurt -- no more than that-- some are young and believe anything?? Ok as someone just mailed me -- not my problem why care?? but I do..... Take care all of you xxxxxxxxxxxx

I've never met Becx and I'd put up bail for her. The first GR member I met was in a record office and she is every bit as friendly and helpful as she appears to be on the boards. I met two others in a pub in Coventry and they were really nice, genuine people. I met another (and her beautiful daughter) at my GB handover and she was exactly as she appears to be on the boards. My OH and I recently had dinner with CB and her OH and we all got on really well. CB is a real friend, although she began as a cyber friend. Genuine friendships can be found on the web. My OH was a bit concerned when I travelled to Somerset RO 3 years ago, knowing that I would be meeting a cyber contact there but he certainly wouldn't have told me I couldn't go. I'm an adult and I run my own life and make my own decisions. Are there GR members I don't trust? Yes. Am I going to name them? No. Because I could be wrong. You can only be guided by your instincts based on observation and experience and instincts can be wrong. Perhaps I've been lucky but no one I have viewed as a cyber friend (not just a mate) has ever let me down. If ever they do then the fault lies with them not with me. I'm not going to change who I am because of the behaviour of others. Gwynne

id put up bail for bec too i hav met her and she is a lovley person :-) in fact most of the cyber people iv met for real r lovely my very best friends r originally cyber friends and i dont know wat id hav done without them in the last year i hav been let down by more people who i didnt meet via the internet !!!!

I've got to say that I can see Mike's point. I have met a few members at meet's and they have been lovely. However, some have not been at all like I expected. I had to meet them before I really knew if I liked them. Pat

My son has just married someone he met on the internet!

Hi Karen The very first lady I ever chatted to 8 years ago wanted to meet me and she was coming over from Melbourne to Perth for a holiday. Becuase we were all involved in a chat room situation, we organised a Meet with lot's of people attending so that was pretty safe for her and myself. We eventually met at the meet and hit it off straight away. We have been friends ever since, and have had holidays at each others houses since also, that included our husbands. I think if for the first time at least there is safety in numbers then at least it gives you a chance to get to know them on a more personal level. My friend and I didn't meet until we had known each other 4 years. Beware though and don't jump into online friendships straight away. I have seen some people that have been truly hurt by it. Regards Jackie

I think some of you are being a wee bit paranoid:) The internet is just another medium for getting to know people. You can only get ideas of people from chatting to them on the boards really but private conversations develop and in time you can begin to know people well. In a way, you're getting to know people at their essence without the way they dress, speak or look and can be a lot less shallow than talking to people you meet in a pub for example. Just as in life face to face, you have to use common sense - if people claim to be what-you-see-is-what-you-get sort of people don't believe them. Everyone has levels of their personality and everyone has a past - sometimes time and circumstances reveal parts of them, sometimes they don't. And if people appear to be perfect there's a pretty good chance you're not seeing their whole personality:) I don't see the problem with meeting people at all. It would be stupid to meet anyone for the first time one to one in their house or at an isolated beauty spot lol. But meeting a group of people at a family history fair or a pub is fine. I've met a lot of people from GR at meets. Some I've had no knowledge of from the boards before I met them and some I've had a lot of contact with. It's like meeting people at a wedding or a party - you chat generally, click with some and some just aren't your cup of tea or don't interest you. Of the ones I've had contact with on or off the boards online, most still seem to be what I expected them to be. A couple of times I've met up with someone I've clicked with again and there are a handful of people I've met through GR that I would consider mates (whether they would say the same is a different thing lol) One of my closest GR mates I haven't yet met but we chat sometimes a few times a day online or on the phone and there are a few others I feel I've connected with and that I think I understand a bit - you get to know how they will react to things, what & who their likes and dislikes are and what their sense of humour is and so on. It's still life whether you're using the internet or not and life is more interesting if you take chances on things and people and you can do that without sacrificing personal safety.

Well i only hope Frances from Norwich don't turn out to be a mad axe weilding maniac when i meet her at the Bury meet.lol

I am one of the lucky ones I have several friends I have met through internet and also my hubbie lots of peps who don't have net said oohhh I wouldn't go on dating sites but when I tell then never been on one they were most surprised told them you get to make friends other ways. First meeting have always been carefull and always will be. Josieanne

David , no disrespect - but it is different for a bloke! sad fact but a true one. I have met 3 people from these boards - i think its only 3 - CB - who is as lovely as she comes across and as sensible Dawn - piglets mother - who is as batty as she comes across and Jelly - who lurks on the the boards, (she was Ellie then Changed to Jenny and i am easily confused!) I think it gives you a 'little more' in terms of , when a person posts that you can relate to then , kind of changes your footing as you have an accurate picture of them in your mind. ....and when Dawn posts about her daughter Dotty being a wild child - i believe her - cos i have personally chased her 3 times round a pub, (and failed to catch her!!) Jess x

Mike, i wouldve put bail up for bec before i met her in person!!!! she was there for me when i really needed someone last year after my relationship ended, shes a real good friend before and after meeting her!!! and yes i met her on my own, but so many people knew where i was who with ect...and even though we rarely talk now due to me never really being on here much anymore and never having any credit i know that she would be here for me at the drop of a hat if i needed her....she has done it before!!!

*Wonders what crime she should commit as bail is sorted!* lol

...a small spot of pilfering maybe, Bec? Nothing too drastic as my pension wont stretch that far....lol Grandma BC XX

This has been a really valuable discussion, Trust me to but in on page 5 and will subsequently kill it! I have never met any cyber aquaintances, yet. I know I will have to with the GB relay. When it comes to it I am beginning to realise my husband will have real issues with it. I Will have to meet with a man who lives about 3 miles away, haven't seen him on here for ages though! I will need to find someone to go with, but my family all feel this is a little 'sad' to say the least. There are a few members I would love to meet, but there are some, who when you read their postings, you have to wonder 'are they for real' I really understand Karens comments about real life, there is no point rocking the boat at home, some things are too precious. Suex

BC - Pick pocketing? Sue- There you go, you haven't killed the thread! :-)

Thanks Bec, that's a first! Suex

Jess Many things are different for a man and a woman but what difference does your gender make when meeting a group of people in a pre-arranged public place?

I am lucky, I have a supportive husband who, while not being that interested in Family History or this site, will go with me to meets. I have met some really nice people and wouldn't hesitate to met them again. I also met two on our own but in very public places, and Jude and Sally were OK so i was safe Lol!! The internet is not a lot different to any other form of communication. Before the internet I belonged to several correspondence magazines and had many pen friends. We met up and you could say we didn't know each other, only what we wrote about ourselves and, same as on here, you can write anything you like. This goes back to the 60s. There is a fine line between being totally untrusting and paranoid and being stupid. You have to be careful and you have to follow your instincts. Like someone else said if Tony told me not to go it would have the opposite effect. I am an adult and not a child. Ann Glos