General Chat

*wonders if that woman walks like that because she's trollied or whether it's the heels...*

'I'll have a Power Shandy please!' lol

*Thinks* Me toy boy!!!!!!!!!

'Ah a man.... Howie... are you any good with DIY? Whoever put up me trapeeze didn't do it properly... I sprained me bloomin' ankle...'

I wish you ladies would quieten down a bit I came on this cruise for a rest and to get suntanned the pool is nice and warm why dont you take your drinks go on the lilo'sand float away xxx

*Bar* Flippin ek...made me spill my drink.....such a loud voice that woman! Yes please, another drink...such a day ive had

*wanders into bar...limping* 'WHO IS IN CHARGE OF HEALTH AND SAFETY AROUND HERE?!?!?!'

Chatting to herself as she pours a large G & T I can only assume that the Admiral of this Cruise must be our Colonial friend Deb from Vancouver - with Mommylonglegs as Purser as well, we won't go far wrong then ...... humming to herself ''Red Sails in the Sunset .....'' Well, here's to us all, should be great fun! raises her glass.

TANNOY!!! Now here this - this is the Admiral of last year's Cruise speaking!! Although I am of course, now semi-retired, I needed a well-earned rest after that Cruise to Cape Verde last year! I heard you all making such a racket all the way up here in the Penthouse! And I recognise some of those faces - well, just about - who's been to the London Clinic then during the summer - eh? ...... and red shoes again!!! They're old hat my dear - perhaps I should show you my new red suede boots with stilleto heels that Jimmy Choo made up for me - after all it is Winter now! Well, friends, it is nice to see familiar faces again - sadly I have a Dinner engagement at 7pm this evening, so unless you can say a quick ''hello'' soon I regret our meeting must wait until tomorrow - by the way has anybody seen the Fat Cook Lindy from the Algarve, it would be nice to think she's in charge of the Menus again - and what about that big chap, Security Guard David - he'll go ballistic if that croc is here, now what was it's name? Oh, good the same Purser is aboard, that's good! But hang on, is that the Black Widow around again - not got married again my dear? Who else now? Same bar staff - yes. What about that terrible woman who had all the female staff working for her....hmmm?

*Bar* No, im large G&T, lots of ice.....her with the red shoes is Vodka.....

Black Widow *Bar* Oh pour me a large drink bar tender....oh its you from last year isnt it?

:) Is just going to get out when realises that a most devastingly handsome lifeguard is preparing a rescue mission. Obligingly sinks to bottom of pool and is rescued. A bit embarrassed at all the fuss and escapes to cabin. Wonders again what the strange noises are from the cabin next door.

Pool Area Oh for heavens sake.....only just changed as well, im soaked! Fancy doing a belly flop from a spring board anyway! tuts Right! Ill go and change again! *thinks* hope that lady can swim, dont want to ruin my hair trying to drag her out*

Wanders away from bar leaving lone occupant (wearing BRIGHT RED shoes) deeply immersed in her 'cups'. Wanders onto deck and stops by one of the swimming pools.

*Bar* Oh how cheap do those goggles look *smiles* there you go, not too much ice *got enough of that herself* hands a LARGE vodka over. I best retire to my cabin....freshen up (off for my healing session) Struts out of bar, fluffs up hair

*Bar* God it is her....sure she's drunk! No change there then. Look at how she admires me...well, who wouldnt 'Noooo my dear, simply helping ones self today.....large one for you this fine morning'?

*Bar* Hmmm, thought she might be here hitting the vodka *thinks* sure its her from last year........oh yes, still the same red shoes....no class her! What, no bar staff? Oh well, help me self then!

hears strange sounds from the cabin next door. Decides not to be curious! Goes to find the bar and orders a lemon, lime and bitters. A taste acquired when meeting certain friends from a special interest group in Sydney recently.

Johnny Depp? Not sure......now did i hear a toy boy has boarded......oh my!

*wrings hands in distress.....Oh dear oh dear one of the best looking boys has joined the Cruise and I shall be away....sobs......