General Chat

Hi Gwynne, Deb. 'Sassy, please get back in that kitchen, we need you' Cannot hold the ropes for too long, thats Dorothy's job. I am away Saturday for four days. Will concentrate on getting new passenger list drawn up. Then get my old back bag and start handing out the anti VD Serum amongst other little treats. I hear there is a new strain of 'Bird Flu' about, Women are carriers, but only men can catch it. BRB. Son want me to cut his sausage up. Lol. Jenny.

Jenny, I'm handing over the ropes to you (if you don't mind), time difference and all that. I have just won the lottery, so I will be a pampered guest for this voyage! Deb (aka Sassy - Assistant Cook)

Gwynne, have you got the map?? Here is a list of our old crew. Please let us know asap if you are able to make the voyage. Dorothy G The Boss. Mommylonglegs the Doctor and Purser. Joanne Prior The Cook. Ann Lynda Charles Madam in the Brothel. Gwynneth Teacher and Dir. of Panto. John with the compass points Dr's Locum. Daniel Longman, self appointed King?????? Bryan from Cilfrew Nurse Gladys Emanuel. Terri from London Incognito. David Beard Security Guard. Wendy Wrigley Embroiderer. Judith by the seaside Surfer. Jean Hindmarsh Bouy's Carer. Marion from Merseyside Lazy Buggar. Chrissie Smith Manicurist/Pedicurist. Valley from Yorkshire. Ship's Physic. Angela in Kent Quartermaster. Elaine Farrence Sick bag giver. Gwynneth Teacher. Gillian from Eccles Trolly Dolly. Liz Cornish Reception /Bar work. Jill Price. Divvy Viagra Controller. Elaine in reading Paying Passenger. Strump. Black Widow. Joy Kentish Maid. ??? Ann Lazenby Nurse. Melanie Dunn Pole Dancer. PMPL. Just reading through the copy of the old thread. How i wish we were all still around. David, can you remember putting the rolled up magazine down your underpants, ready for your little prick. Obviously loads of are no longer members. So if you could all let us know if you have changed your name or profession, better still announce you you are going to be. Ship's Purser. Dr. Longlegs MD.ME.

*stomps off.... * 'Just because I drink Power Shandies that doesn't make me a sozzler....'

******Note to Crew and Guests**** Sorry about the absence for the last few hours, but I was commandeering another vessel, the SS Land of Nod. I see that we have some of the old crew and guests back. I’d better ask the purser to stock up on Gin and Vodka, we don’t want to be running out. I will be popping on and off the Uttopia today, as I will be meeting the purser to discuss supplies for the voyage. If Fat Lady Cook is anywhere about, we need you. In my absence Dorothy and Jenny will be in charge. You others are always too sozzled to make any decisions We will set sail at 9pm this evening, on course for Bermuda. The ship will return to port on Christmas Eve, that is, if we have fine sailing and don't run into bad weather. We are in need of more crew and guests. Deb

*Penthouse* (Looking in the mirror, checking her new shoes match her outfit) That's fine. Right now, hope the restaurant is good, with an excellent Menu. And I hope my friends in the bar keep the noise down! (She leaves the Penthouse)

Head of security steps out of the penthouse a little flushed smiling happily and heads off to find the captain, so as to check the passenger list and recieve instuctions, makes a mental note, must keep an eye on that mob of ladies of doutfull stature, and make sure everone has had all there jabs, Mommielonglegs is the one to see me thinks, he he he!!! Head of security David

*Penthouse* Well Hello Security Guard David, how nice to see you - you've obviously been taking the sun this summer, how bronzed you are!! I am just rushing around I'm afraid, as I'm going to dinner with some friends. Have you asked Deb what her plans are? I've just booked for a short Cruise, but I do hope it will be somewhere warm and sunny, don't you? Perhaps Purser Mommylonglegs knows the route? Listen (hands him the earpiece of the Tannoy) I hear that Madam Jean has arrived - Head of Adult Entertainment presumably!

*thinks* gone for some thing to eat....what about me??? Best i follow him then..he must have meant i join him...struts off

WHooooohe sounds forceful sorry strump must go and get something to eat see you all later xxx

*Jumps* Wish people would stop shouting over that thing! Fancy taking this to my cabin Howie?

TANOY Ahoy there you lillie livered lot this is the suntaned muscular well honed head of security David, just to let you know i am here watching you, don't want any bad behavour, no drunken orgies, and definately no creepy creatures such as crocodiles and the like on board, just going up to the penthouse, just to report in to the Admiral semi retired, got to make her comfortable you understand!!!. I will be on patrol later so be afraid and watch your step. Head of security David

Oh yes!! Quite a vintage sir..........

Over here Strump xxx

*Bar* Good god, she's locked me in! Still, shes locked him in as well...........now, wheres the champers bottles?

*Thinks* wonder when he's buying a drink....champers will do*

PMSL Howie - 'tut' *goes off to look for a hunky young DIYer*

*Her again* Grips a heel.....oh so nice of you to join me down here whispers Do that again and ill set your heels in concrete...smiles ...gets up and struts to bar

Becs I am holidays no diy on this ship throw the old one over the side and just to let you know I have had the offer earlier from a rich widow to join her while she is on board so if I vanish eat your heart out Howiexxx

*homes in for the kill on the toy boy*