General Chat

Lucia, I agreed totally with your opinion until the last word. If you had written right instead of spite I would have concured. Pete

Pete Further to your reply to Lucia: Even criminals have rights but that doesn't make it morally correct for them to use them.

Marie i agree with you, i think she should be giving the goahead to have the baby or babies, they are not eggs anymore but embrios and have a chance of life all beit a small chance but a percentage and after all life is life

a baby is a gift he gave her that gift when he gave his sperm and consent for it to be used with her egg! would a gentleman ask for a gift back from a lady......? NO therefore lucia is right he is being spiteful!!

Marie, I hope that we can agree to disagree. It is a very sad and unfortunate situation. There are no winners in this case, and I have great sympathy for the woman concerned. Good night Pete

Agree to disagree sounds like a fair outcome to me. Thanks for the debate. I don't think my mind would ever have been swayed to be honest but I appreciate your opinions. Nite Nite

What a hard, hard question. I can't help thinking that life was simpler when people just lived with the cards life dealt them instead of having to deal with all these 'rights' and 'decisions'. Science is a wonderful thing but it seems to be creating more heartache than enough. This is horrible for everyone concerned.

Well Patricia I had 3 children and had my tubes tied a few years ago I often wondered what would happen if I wanted more children but I dont think I will be longing for another as much as you were. Glad that worked out for you. I dont know who is right or wrong here but if she wins her appeal then there must be a legalised agreement to say he is not financially responsible for the child But can you imagine doing your tree and finding out you were born 5 years after your parents split up That seems a bit bazaar

OH and I were discussing this yesterday evening and for once are in complete agreement. He gave consent when he gave his sperm. The embryos exist and the woman should be able to have them implanted. They may not develop but at least she has had the chance to bear children. I don't believe his rights override hers. Gwynne

I dont think that there could be a ruling that applied 'across the board'. Every single embryo that is froxen should be considered on its merits or the practice stopped .Full stop. Consideraton should be given as to the circumstances each and every time, so that the whole situation is on the table and clear for all deciding parties to understand and discuss. Maybe the time will come where eggs and sperm are frozen individually - it does happen now, but he results are not so good- embryo are stored for a reason. At the time, relevant Q's ARE asked as to 'what if X/Y/Z senario should occur.... ', and once the decision is made is should be stuck to. THAT IS WHAT IS UNFAIR! prettty pointless asking the Q's in the first place really! Jess

I am totally on the side of the potential child. How would he/she feel if they found out in years to come that they weren't wanted by BOTH their parents ? I would have loved to have children but it just didn't happen. You just have to accept your situation, live your life and find contentment in other ways. I think it'swrong to vilify this man for a decision he obviously thinks is the right one for him.

its a hard one,I can see both sides to this tragic event. Roxanne

''I think it'swrong to vilify this man for a decision he obviously thinks is the right one for him.'' What about her? does she have rights? feelings? Jess x

I do wonder why her eggs were not just frozen, why did they inseminate them into embryos, if they had just been her eggs there would not be this problem. xxhugxx

Lindy - i dont remember the actual statistics but results are better. its something like X % of defrosted Eggs survive, where as (X+20)% of frozen embryo do~ not exact figure, just an example Eggs are frozen straight after harvest, embroy are allowed to grow to a certain cell stage ( 8 I believe) for ordinary straight forward IVF and 16 cell stage for blastocyst- a slightly different procedure, prior to freezing. Although the size is still miniscule, the success rate from blastocyst procudure is greater than straight forward IVF. The results from thawed Egg + thawed sperm is less still. Jess x

In my opinion, I believe the woman should have been allowed to use the embryos to try to create a pregnancy. (In this case not in general) As someone mentioned, both parents gave their consent to create the child in the beginning, no one can be duped into making such a decision on this because of the trauma of what the process entails. The husband said 'The key thing for me was just to be able to decide when, and if, I would start a family.' He has a choice, she doesnt....he can go on to father his genetic child...if he chooses. She has lost that chance to have her own genetic child. What I think is they should let the woman try for a pregnancy with those eggs, if it happens, then the fathers name should be witheld from the birth cert, and a legal clause be drawn up to state that he will not be made to pay any kind of maintenance for the duration of the childs life. He also should also be legally stopped from any contact whatsoever with the child.... he lost that right when he wanted the eggs destroyed. Elaine x Ps {{{HUGS}}} for those who have suffered first hand because of the same rullings

quote from Elaine, that i would like to counter ''He has a choice, she doesnt....he can go on to father his genetic child...if he chooses.'' That is an assumption. This is why i said that each case needs to be considered individually.If the problem was with the man in the first place then maybe the chance to use the embryo should be his, not the womans. jess

As everyone agrees, what a sad, sad case. My first reaction after I'd read the facts was how spiteful the male was. Then, reading some of your replies, I wasn't so sure. In my opinion Elaine made some very valid points. Now, looking back on all the postings on this thread, I think everyone had very good points. What an awful situation for that poor girl. x

Lynda - i think when you get that far down the line, you'd agree to taking the child and living in Outer Mongolia if that was the condition which you ex stipulated. I would have allowed my ex to be named or not on the birth cert, had access or not, which ever he chose. he already had children by one ex wife, and he called all the shots there too. jess

It's hard but lots of people cannot have kids, the problem is that people think that they have the god given right to have kids and they do not, having kids is a privilege, People want every thing these days and are very selfish in their pursuit of what they see as their rights, What people should be thinking about is how would all this affect the child? how would you feel about the fact that one of your parents did not want you to be born. their are enough problem kids today as it is why add to the numbers