General Chat

You speak a lot of common sense Daniel Wish more teenagers felt the way you do, then they would ALL enjoy their youthful days, and perhaps not have any regrets about 'casual sex' when they are a lot older!! Mau x

Really? Well if she really doesn't know what's right from wrong, what's decent and what isn't (after so many previous rendezvous that we have been told of, at 14!) then I don't know what to say. I will never defend such people.

I too feel that her Mum should know, but I think that your job is to persuade her to tell her Mum. if you tell her Mum without her consent who will she have to turn to the next time? And will your daughter lose trust in you if you do. difficult one but she need to talk to her Mum herself. Ann Glos

I didn't know any different at that age Dan and I was quite mature! I just wanted someone to love me and anyone would do! Julie xxx

I think her mum needs to be told, but I think she is the one that should tell her, this girl has got a problem and not just about this particular event? She obviously feels that she cannot talk to her mum for what ever reason, and to my mind that is the route cause of her problem, if you, being the one that has got her trust can find a way of getting her to make the first move then I think things can work out for this girl, this girls mum will probably think and feel the same as all the ladies on her about this, so I think that her and her daughter just need bringing together but without upsetting either party anymore than necessary. Roy

I'm sure she does know different. Don't give her that excuse.

Hi, Why not contact the emergency social worker? There will be one on call at your local social services. Gwynne

Thanks guys for all the advice. I know what I need to do, this is not just a one off I have taken this young girl in when she has drank a bottle of vodka before, and other things she has done too. At my age and with my health as it is I dont need the responsibility. I am flattred that she feels she can trust me and we have talked many times. And yes I think some of you are right, I think she does it as a way to get attention/affection as she knows know different. Wish me luck

I totally agree with Honey Rum ! The child's mother should be told. I don't think it is up to another adult (a complete stranger) to make a life changing descision for another woman's child. Sorry but that's how I feel. You have to put yourself in the child's mother's shoes, yes she will be mad but it is up to HER to make what she thinks is the best descision for HER child, no-one else. I know i'd be mad with my child if I had one that had done the same, but then went to a doctor without my agreement, & I'd be extremely mad with the adult that took her !!! Sorry if it sounds hard, but that's how I'd feel. Furious, basically !! :0) Joan

Calamity... being under tha age of consent, then I would, wether her mother is at work or not, make sure she knew of this. She is not your responsibility, her mother is, and therefore , I think by law you should not be taking this as your sole resposibility, just in case something comes up about it later... You may get yourself into a hole about it. I don't think I would welcome someone else taking my child to a doctor to get any sort of medication, however serious they think it could be. The mother must be told, just in case!!! Anne:)))

Be careful where her mum is concerned, remember that the 'fraser competence' rule should be taken into consideration, if she doesn't want her mum to know then realistically no-one else has the right to tell her, sucks I know but I come up against it a lot at work .

Jane knows her daughter best Bec, but even the best of people can be led off track. I'm not saying anything harsh, but with an issue like this I'm not going to mince my words. Jane, thank you ;-)

Not all of us who are misguided as teenagers turn out bad! The girl might be looking for affection in all the wrong places and should be encouraged to talk to her mum herself. Possibly with you there for moral suppport? Julie xxx

I'm afraid her mum should be told I'm afraid she just may notice if her daughter is ill (as a friend of mine was) after taking the morning after pill Not only that if the girl has complications after taking it, help would be needed quickly, but if the mother is unawares, she may delay in getting help. Besides, If it was my daughter, I would be devestated and very angry about being kept in the dark. And if the girl has loose drawers as you say, she will, no doubt fall pregnant at some time (condoms not 100% reliable ) and will need the support of her mum. Elaine x

Thanks all your all your advice. And Daniel, I hope my little boys turn out like you : > ) janey

Daniel - I disagree. I think Jane's daughter is obviously a very mature and responsible girl and the fact that she has helped her friend in such an adult way is an example of a young girl who won't be led astray!

Hi, for what it is worth I dont think you should say anything to her Mum but you should encourage her to talk to her mum about it and why she is doing it, far better for her to have someone to trust that to go to no one at all. I bet she feels that sex and love are all mixed up together and her mother doesnt have time for her since the divorce or she blames her self just call me Dr Phil in a skirt LOL poor love, but well done you!!

I had to take the step a couple of years ago to 'remove' a friend who started to mix in with what I considered to be a bad crowd. Cannabis people and the like. I wasn't going to associate with him any more if he had decided to go down that route, and even possibly try and take me with them.I wasn't waiting to find out. You can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. Keep a close eye on your daughter.

I'd be happy that she wants to talk. Keep her calm, discuss any consequences and if it were me I'd advise that she got the morning after pill just in case. Most areas have centres specifically for teenages who encounter this sort of thing, it may be worth checking one out (drs should know where they are)

Yes Daniel I do understand what you are saying. But you cant choose there friends for them. You just hope you have done a good job as a parent and they know what is wrong and what is right.