General Chat

Morning Lesley and Christine! Thanks for voicing your opinions on here. I can now see that by going on about 'new' members how you may have felt that posts on this thread were aimed at people such as yourselves. Well, as Gwynne and Elaine have expalined so very well, it most certainly was not! Lesley, I have spoken to you on several occassions (unless you've changed your name recently! lol) and I have always found you to be pleasant and good fun. You're exactly the kind of member we should be encouraging, and I'm truly sorry if you have been made to feel otherwise. I hope you will carry on posting Jeanette x

I wasn't around for most of the fun yesterday. I had a weird PM though in the morning, and Saturday night's nasties, and others recently, have rather put me off posting much.

So good to see people on here (new and old) who we don't see very often. Pleased especially to see a posting from Brian and Oleander (Jackie, how are you? still reading?) (Brian, hope your health is improving). And nice to see Paul back with his old recognisable name. I am one of those who gets Sooo confused at the name changes, especially when they have been changed when I haven't been around (was away last week), then I can't catch up with who they were in a previous life. I have taken to not responding to any that I don't recognise. I am sure if we don't rise to the bait and ignore any contentious postings/threads we can keep the board as it was meant to be, a general discussion board of both genealogical and general subjects both serious and light hearted. As I said in another thread, there are more goodies than baddies on here, maybe the latter will join the former if they find they are otherwise left out. Ann Glos

Hi Elaine and indeed everyone, new or old it sounds like you/we have one thing in common (apart from raking up the past of course), so let's hope good sense and reason will become the norm even if only for a short time. Have a good day all of you - I'm off to the PC doctor. Christine

Morning to all the 'good' newbies on this thread and on this site. The behavior of the new people aforementioned should not give the genuinely good nice newbies a bad name. We were all new once, and finding our way, but most of us learned within days or a few weeks what was acceptable and what was not. Many of the people aforementioned (and some before them) often join, then post for the 'First time' then proclaim that they have been watching the boards 'for months' before plucking up the ultimate courage to post....and then go on in the same breath to argue and slag members off....often then backed up by less than new members who seem to gel very quickly with the 'new ' trouble maker. It then rings warning bells to other members that maybe conversations are going on behind the scenes, via email, or msn. Many times it seems to be a set up. So sorry to all the Good newbies on here, and those who are about to join., I hope you are not put off from posting, newbies are welcomed on a regular basis to this site, there is good and bad in all, and if you are not a troublemaker, you mustn't put yourself into the group we are talking about Elaine x

Thanks Gwynne, Christine expressed my feelings more eloquently than me by saying she felt labelled as a new poster when I had read though some of these posts. However your comments have addressed this point well. Thank you. I think I've probably been more reluctant lately to post some opinions in case it unintentionally stirs up a hornets nest. Thanks again. x Lesley

Hi Gwynne, Many thanks for that - I'm chuffed! I've just read your reply to Lesley and you are spot on with your ref to likening it to a new job. We've got an established staff that I wouldn't be without, all are friends as well and that includes ones who have left to go elsewhere. We need the new staff to help run the place, and also because some of us are gettin too darn old! Most of them bring in new ideas and we're happy to learn, then every so often you get someone who thinks they know better. They flout the rules or say hurtful comments and they don't last long. Bad apples need removing, they will turn the whole box bad. Have a good day everyone, Christine (whose PC suffered major breakdown on Saturday and has probably lost her tree)

Hi Christine, Good to see you posting, you don't come across as a trouble maker at all. There aren't many of them but they can certainly stir up a hornets' nest when they try. Welcome to the boards, Gwynne

Lesley, I agree so much with what you have said. I'm new as well - okay I joined last May but didn't even know this existed until February - and feel 'labelled'. I'm not a troublemaker and hope I don't come across that way. I stop and think before I write - hence by the time I've worked out what I want to say the theme has moved on so then I do feel invisible! Now having reread this it sounds like I'm against all the established members - so apologies, please, that's not the way I intended it to sound, I'm just hopeless at putting thoughts in print. I like reading all your posts and kind of have an idea who you refer to as trouble THEN they change name and I am totally confused. In fact maybe I'll change mine to Bamboozled!

Hi Lesley, There's no need to bite your tongue it's fine to you say what you think. Most people here are welcoming of newcomers, but the sad fact is that a lot of trouble has been caused by people new to the boards, that's not the same as saying all newcomers are trouble makers. Unfortunately, there is a history of people saying they are leaving and they then rejoin with a fake ID and stir up trouble, so we oldies are wary, having seen it happen before. Netiquette suggest that people new to a forum such as this should lurk for a while before posting to see what is considered generally acceptable. Sadly not all newcomers do this, although most do. It's common sense really. When you start a new job or join a new club you lurk on the outskirts for a while to suss people out and see who you will get along with. You don't get to work and on your first day there tell them they are doing it all wrong or shout opinions that you know are going to upset the people already there. Well, not if you have any manners. We do all pay our fees and we are all entitled to post. However, if I buy a ticket for a film it does not entitle me to to stand up and throw popcorn at others in the cinema or abuse other audience members. I hope you see what I mean. I'm really sorry if you have been put off by what was said and done yesterday, but please don't be. You make a perfectly valid point. I hope genuine newcomers are not put off from posting. Actually, I hope they will feel encouraged to after the good humour and atmosphere of yesterday. It's just that some of us have felt the atmosphere on here had become hostile and unwelcoming and we wanted to restore good humour. Gwynne

Yes you should say it if that is how you feel..... As I have always said..... we should none of us be frightened to post how we feel. If we do not agree with a post.... say so. If you don't like a post ignore it. DO NOT abuse the poster. We all have our own opinions on things and we are all entitled to our opinion, that is all it is; an opinion. We come here for a laugh or a serious discussion, a discussion is just that; we can try and win people over to our view on a subject or agree to disagree. An argument on a personal level is uncalled for and not necessary. I have missed any nastiness as I have been on here so little of late but I have seen it in the past. Let's just get over it and move on. Jeanette, well done for voicing your opinion. Jacquie xxxx

maybe it's me. I've been biting my tongue all day but feel I have to say it. I'm not out to cause trouble but just express an opinion. Although I agree generally with what you all seem to say ie that you want the board to be a nice place to be; I don't feel comfortable with what a lot of you are insinuating about new members. I've been a member of GC/GR for a few years now but only came to the boards late. I read the tips/records boards first. I'm relatively new to the General board. I don't treat anyone differently as I don't know who is new or who is an old member. It shouldn't really matter. I expect people to have established friends. I try to make my own friends. I try to respect everyone here and on the whole try to avoid the controvercial threads although it can be hard sometimes. I respect a lot of the names that I see on this thread and what you are trying to do. However, I think that if you single out a group of people ie new people and make generalisations about them, it is going to put a few new folk off posting messages. They've paid their £7.50/£9.50 along with everyone else so why shouldn't they post threads that they are interested in as long as they are respectful of others. I think the key is respect which has already been mentioned on the threads today. We may have different interests and may not be interested in the same threads but I'm sure we can co-exist. I'm pretty sure that you didn't intend to 'single out' all new people but is the way that it is coming across (at least to me - maybe it's just me - I don't know) x lesley PS I'm off to bed shortly.(not ignoring anyone)

Night Lems and Debs Just read the thread and I put what has already been said. So fed up of being accused of being part of a clique because I tend to agree/enjoy communicating with a lot of people who I've either met or communicate with privately. If you don't like it.... Get friends of your own! xx

I agree Bec ***big hug for Bec** I'd bet the farm on the fact that 'new' members are old ones recycled. Deb

Well I am glad its not just me who was fed up, I nearly started doing my Scottish side in depth, but I feel Lemon again....night Bec XX

Totally agree. I also think (not read the whole thread, just off to bed) there are a few people about who are others 'reincarnated' so to speak.... xx

n

Cuddly being the operative word Vivienne!!!! Daisy *ducking*

lol Chrissie :-) Juliexx *who on occasion is charmed, angelic and for triv the ghost of lol

thank you all, although... its only a name really isn't it