General Chat

I started out thinking that children put forward for adoption should have a mother and a father to take care of them.....but after reading some of the replies to this thread, realised what a narrow, blinkered opinion I have. I have changed my mind now, and think that having people that love you, that's what is important.....

If I waited for a man to look after me and be the hunter gatherer putting food on my table i#d have died when i left home at 21!! Life evolves and its about time god botherers did too!!

< shakes head > Its a shame that some would rather see thousands of unwanted children in care homes, rather than see them happily settled in a loving stable home with gay parents.... all because of miss informed and very outdated views, that gay parents either sexually abuse their kids or MAKE their kids gay. Gay people have friends of all sexes, mix with people of all sexes. no more or no less than a single parent. In fact I bet my bottom dollar than children of gay parents grow up with more tolerance and respect of people than some heterosexual ones. I'm proud to say both of my children are accepting of gay people, they dont see them as no different to heterosexual people. In my connie's words a convo we had a short time ago (shes 7 ). ME ) Whats gay Connie ? ' CONNIE) 'A gay person is a man who marries a man, and a woman who marries a woman' 'Is there anything wrong with that Connie ?' 'No mum, they love each other' I'm so proud of my kids :o))) Elaine x

And so you should be Elaine xx

Just a small point, Lisa - the ''Gay Ceremonies'' thread disappeared. :-) Joy

My mother told me that I wasn't wanted cos i wasn't a MALE!! All my life i have heard how I spoilt her 'normal' family so if any child has the chance of being 'wanted' its ok by me no matter what sex or sexual orientation they are!! xx

I just want to clarify my earlier comment, as I don't want anyone to misinterpret. I don't think gay couples (or single people for that matter) should be automatically blocked from adopting. There's no reason they can't provide a stable, loving home for a child, and lets remember its the child who is most important here. Every case is different, and every one should be treated on their own merits. My only slight concern, based on comments a friend has made to me in the past, is that children of gay couples can get bullied, can have difficulties because of their homelife.. Then again, its just one of a long list of things that children could be bullied over - so its somewhat irrelevant. I do still think that the 'ideal' is a mum and a dad. That just my opinion, maybe I'm just old fashioned that way. However, I don't think thats the ONLY acceptible family unit.

I say Yes. I know a couple. I also have a feeling of de ja vue with this question so I will add what I did last time. If people can be against gay couples or single parents adopting children then I suppose they would also disapprove of disabled people adopting children. I am disabled and if someone said I couldnt adopt a child simply because I had a disability I would be very angry. Whats more my sister and I were brought up by our mum only and there is nowt wrong with the way we were brought up. Fi I appreciate everyone has their own opinion

Paul, I was just reading this thread, and you wrote what I was thinking. The children of gay parents are open to a lot of bullying/ridicule. That is the only problem I have with it. Gloria

Got a good idea !!!!! Rather than let children be fostered/adopted/looked after by caring loving gay or single folk, we should let stay with there natural heterosexuals parents who neglect, sexually abuse, mentally abuse, torture, or even murder there children, so that your child can never come home and says he/she is going to a gay couple or single parents house for tea with there child, best let your child go to tea with the heterosexual family who beats there kids !!!! I do wonder where some folk get there fluffy ideas from, that if your with a 'normal' Mum and Dad, they treat you well. Come out with me one day I will open your eyes to what REALLY goes on in 'normal homes' Take off your rose tinted glasses. Flabbergasted Lynda

I've just popped on briefly and I can't believe this thread is still on page one. At the risk of everyone saying 'oh, she's agreeing with Lynda again' - YES I AM. She has yet again put my thoughts into words for me. Can someone please tell me why some people feel so threatened by people who are just members of society like the rest of us. I have friends who prefer to live with people of the same sex and they are all lovely, normal people, who I have fun with and enjoy their company. I don't spend my time with them thinking about the fact that they live with someone of the same sex, only that I like them and enjoy their company. As many others have said, why deprive a child of a happy life with nice people. Chrissie x

I was raised by my Dad as he and my mum split up when I was a baby. I never had a female role model and I do not feel that has in anyway affected me. So why would it be different to be raised by two men. Twice the amount of love and affection! I see no problem at all with it! I earlier mentioned that I did not see being raised by a gay couple affecting the sexuality of the child. I did not mean this as an offensive remark. I just think that people that have a problem with a gay couple adopting often think that it may affect the child in that way, I do not agree with that. I most certainly do not see being Gay as an afflictions as mentioned earlier.

I don't see bullying as an issue. I've known a lot of children brought up by gay couples and they are no more bullied than any other child. Bullies pick on the vulnerable so it's depends more on the child than the situation. Louise Just want to disagree with a couple of things you say. Gay people can and do have children naturally. Sheesh (on this thread) and my partner, for example, both have children from former heterosexual relationships. In my experience, it's not children who find these things confusing - it's the adults. The children in my family don't have any confusion with my partner and I because they've grown up with it and their parents are raising them to understand and accept different things. It's the same as the bullying issue - children learn attitudes from parents.

David I think you're splitting the proverbial hair ! It was obvious that Louise was referring to the fact that people who are gay cannot, as a couple, produce children. Louise's views may not be shared by everyone but she has an equal right to express them.

Hi Jayvee I wasn't disputing Louise's right to express an opinion - I was just disagreeing :) Of course gay couples can't 'naturally' have children - nor can some heterosexual couples. Doesn't make them any less valid.

Hi Just adding my two bob. I know of two girls whos father lives with his gay partner, and their mother is in a relationship with another male. The girls spend 3 days a week with their Dad and his partner and 4 days with their mum and her partner. Now at their Dads place they have a happy, quiet time, and plenty of family time is given from both Dad and partner, they are taken on outings and even been to Queensland on holiday. Then at their Mums they have to content with Mum and boyfriend drinking regulary, Mum gets violent at times on the drink, they also spend all their time watching horse racing on Tv and betting on horses, all their money goes on drink and gambling and the girls have to amuse theirself when at their Mums. Now I think I also know what place I would rather.

Hi everyone, ive just come back in and been reading through the threads and i have to say im quite saddened by some of the comments that have been made. While i think everyone is entitled to their opinion i cant help be amazed by the narrow mindedness of some of the things said. I feel in no way that i need to explain my sexuality or the way i am bringing my children up - who by the way have both a mum and dad who love them dearly. Actually i find it a bit sad that some folk would rather see kids living in a situation where they are unhappy or at risk rather than with 2 people of the same sex who can offer them a loving, stable home. My kids arent exposed to anything they wouldnt be if they were living with both parents and i like to think that ive brought them up to have tolerance and compassion for others who are 'different' in some way. Just my opinion

Id like to address the comment that a gay couple cant have a child of their own Take one egg from one female partner and place this into the other female partner...use donor sperm then one partner is carrying the genetic child of the other.... Male couples can use a surrogate mother Where there is a will, there is a way, and good luck to them all. Elaine x

You could hardly call that method natural though, Elaine, which was the point being made.

I personally believe as long as a child is loved thats all that matters!! My young son lives with me at my parents home his dad lives over 400miles away but travels down to see him once a month & has him for 3-4nights. My son speaks to his dad twice a week on the phone, even though he is only 2 years old. Both his dad & I get on extremly well & are adamant we are a family though not a traditional one. For my sons birthday we went for the day just the 3 of us, we will be having a birthday tea for his dad on Saturday at my parents. My son knows he is very loved by us, he knows he lives with mummy but he spends special time with daddy.... he is a well adjusted happy intelligent little boy........... who can say our family is wrong? therefore if 2 people of the same sex can raise a child in a loving homewho can disagree?