General Chat

Funny that Steve, did notice your threads went off at a tangent.....love the humour....

Michael the Dragon Master was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts. But he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, who was the King's chief physician. Horatio said, 'I can arrange it, but I will need 1,000 gold coins to pay bribes'. Michael the Dragon Master readily agreed. The next day Horatio made up a batch of itching lotion and poured a little of it into the Queens brassiere while she was taking a bath. Soon after she dressed the itching commenced and grew in intensity. Upon being called to the royal chambers, Horatio told the King that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown such a saliva was only to be found in Michael the Dragon Master's mouth. King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master. Michael the Dragon Master slipped the antidote to the itching lotion, which Horatio had given him, into his mouth and for the next four hours worked passionately on the Queen's magnificent breasts. Satisfied, he returned to his chamber and found Horatio demanding payment. However, with his obsession now satisfied, he refused to pay Horatio anything and shooed him away, knowing that Horatio could never report this matter to the King. The next day, Horatio slipped a massive dose of the same itching lotion onto King Arthur's loincloth. King Arthur summoned Michael the Dragon Master..... Moral of the story: Pay your bills.

PREFER JABAWOKY??

Sally hun You will learn that my threads take on a likf of their own lol Thats part of the fun Carol PMSL Gwen so was i lolol

PMSL.......

CAROL MORE MY KIND

Ohhhh Bunny.....didn't see that one coming.....double lol...

You're all pluddy mad.

LOL Sorry i dont like monty python.......

King Arthur was getting ready to go on a Quest. He was worried to leave Queen Guinevere alone with all those horny knights of the Round Table. So he went to Merlin for some advice. After explaining his predicament to Merlin, the wizard looked thoughtful and said, come back in a week. A week later King Arthur was back at Merlin's lab where the wizard was showing him his latest invention. It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place. The King pointed at the rather large opening, 'this is supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?' 'Ah, Sire, just observe!' the wizard answered. He found in the woodbin a twig an inch in diameter and as he inserted such into the gaping aperture of the chastity a small guillotine blade cut right through the wood, neatly and smooth. 'You are a genius!' said the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave knowing that the Queen will be fully protected. And after locking Guinevere in the device, King Arthur set out on his Quest. Several years past till he returned to Camelot. Immediately upon his return he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection. Sure each and every one was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad. 'Sir Galahad', exclaimed the King 'Only you among all the nobles has been true to me. What is it in my powers to grant you? Name it and it's yours.' Sir Galahad looked at the King, tongue-less he was unable to answer.

NEEDS VISUAL PMSL AND I HATE TO ADMIT THIS I WAS AROUND FOR FIRST EVER M/P

Sorry Dragonfly and Bunny.....just two Monty Python fans talking...... Thanks Steve for putting up the script.....the humour was in the Black Knight downplaying his limb losses.....great stuff.... now back to the thread...

Monty Python And The Holy Grail pmsl Come on girls get with the plan lolol

PMSL......

Me thinks his had one to many Gwen...lol.... But im still playing with his cocanuts.....lol

Part 2 pmsl Right! The BLACK KNIGHT kicks him again and ARTHUR chops his leg off. The BLACK KNIGHT keeps his balance with difficulty. BLACK KNIGHT I'll do you for that. ARTHUR You'll what ... ? BLACK KNIGHT Come Here. ARTHUR What are you going to do. bleed on me? BLACK KNIGHT I'm invincible! ARTHUR You're a looney. BLACK KNIGHT The Black Knight always triumphs. Have at you! ARTHUR takes his last leg off. The BLACK KNIGHT's body lands upright. BLACK KNIGHT All right, we'll call it a draw. ARTHUR Come, Patsy. ARTHUR and PATSY start to cross the bridge. BLACK KNIGHT Running away eh? You yellow b*stard, Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

EERRRRRRRRRRRRRR UMMMMMMMMMMMM THINK I'LL TRY GOING OUT AN COMING BACK NOPE GIVE UP WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING PMSL

ARTHUR You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight. | BLACK KNIGHT | Who dares to challenge the Black Knight? | | ARTHUR | I do not challenge you. The BLACK KNIGHT stares impassively and says nothing. ARTHUR I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Hint of a pause as he waits for a reaction which dosn't come. ARTHUR is only slightly thrown. ... I seek the bravest and the finest knights in all the world to join me in my court at Camelot ... The BLACK KNIGHT remains silent ARTHUR You have proved yourself worthy. ... Will you join me? Silence. | ARTHUR | A man of your strength and skill would be the chief of all | my knights ... | | BLACK KNIGHT | Never. | ARTHUR You make me sad. But so be it. Come Patsy. As he moves, the BLACK KNIGHT bars the way. BLACK KNIGHT None shall pass. ARTHUR What? BLACK KNIGHT None shall pass. ARTHUR I have no quarrel with you, brave Sir knight, but I must cross this bridge. BLACK KNIGHT Then you shall die. ARTHUR I command you, as King of the Britons to stand aside. BLACK KNIGHT I move for no man. ARTHUR So be it! ARTHUR draws his sword and approaches the BLACK KNIGHT. A furious fight now starts lasting about fifteen seconds at which point ARTHUR delivers a mighty blow which completely severs the BLACK KNIGHT's left arm at the shoulder. ARTHUR steps back triumphantly. ARTHUR Now stand aside worthy adversary. BLACK KNIGHT (Glancing at his shoulder) 'Tis but a scratch. ARTHUR A scratch? Your arm's off. BLACK KNIGHT No, it isn't. ARTHUR (Pointing to the arm on ground) Well, what's that then? BLACK KNIGHT I've had worse. ARTHUR You're a liar. BLACK KNIGHT Come on you pansy! Another ten seconds furious fighting till ARTHUR chops the BLACK KNIGHTS's other arm off, also at the shoulder. The arm plus sword, lies on the ground. ARTHUR Victory is mine. (sinking to his knees) I thank thee O Lord that in thy ... BLACK KNIGHT Come on then. ARTHUR What? He kicks ARTHUR hard on the side of the helmet. ARTHUR gets up still holding his sword. The BLACK KNIGHT comes after him kicking. ARTHUR You are indeed brave Sir knight, but the fight is mine. BLACK KNIGHT Had enough? ARTHUR You stupid b*stard. You havn't got any arms left. BLACK KNIGHT Course I have. ARTHUR Look! BLACK KNIGHT What! Just a flesh wound. (kicks ARTHUR) ARTHUR Stop that. BLACK KNIGHT (kicking him) Had enough ... ? ARTHUR I'll have your leg. He is kicked.

Ello Pat I'm good Ta Hows Cassie now ?

Yes, and the one where the Knight is trying to cross the bridge and the other one challenges him.... first Knight chops off the challengers arm.....I'm OK, got another. Chops off challengers leg...now....can I cross....No....I have an arm and a leg.... chops off another leg....challenger still bobbing about on torso....I have my arm........and I can't remember how it finishes....