General Chat

would love to find him a new school but he is close to his older brother(jordan who`s 14) and was advised it might be worse if they were seperated..but he is now gonna have to go to this specail school so see how things go, sos abt spelling. i personally think too much has happened at school so i don`t think we can start again but jamie is determined to go back there so we have to try whatever we can sharon

hi sharon i would try and work with the school whatever the out come hun i no its hard when your litleones have things going on im sure things will work out ok and if not we are here for u hun hope its sorted soon sendign u positive thoughts stray xxx

Well as I,m first ...let me say (((((((Sharon))))))))) My son was the same, I told this to Sharon in a PM. My second son is gifted! 3rd good as gold and 4 clever. So it not Sharon its US.the adults in this world. Now Sharon is this the right place for your son ..it seems to me the head dont like you lad and is picking on him. Give a red card at the last moment ..then get shot when he(head) finds it tough? Can you get him another school

Sharon hun you sound like me, I am constantly trying to defend myself, my now nearly 17 year old had big problems, everyone was involved, apart form his real dad who shut the door, The school he attended cared more for league tables than helping students who had problems. The people who helped me the most were connections and the education welfare. The school exclude because it makes their job easier, hugs hun, Caz xxx

well i hope everyone has stopped arguing abt this.. i don`t want people fighting abt this, i`m a big girl now so if anyone wants to slag me then let them..i can take it..when jamie was in nursery he had a stutter and needed a speech therapist which we sorted but even now when all the attention is on him he will stutter.. so he has a problem with confrontation because it will make him stutter and will cause frustration and embarassment which i did explain at this meeting and the head said he 'needed to push jamie' to see what would happen so WTF is goin on with the bloody school sharon

I think what has made things slide, is not the abolishment of the cane but society demanding less respect. What do kids see on TV ? Violence swearing and sex. When I was in my middle to late teens there was no swearing on TV at all. anything sexual was normally mild and way after 9pm. Music was the same, exception being Punk with most songs not getting airtime on TV or radio. music videos were tame and non offensive. Who else remembers in the early eighties Frankie Goes to Hollywood being banned on Top of the pops because of their single relax ?....how mild that is today ! Nowadays swearing is the norm on tv, Music often contains bad language, references to gang culture and sex. Videos are mainly all bump and grind,..with crotch shots, which leave nothing to the imagination I'm no prude, but the respect has gone...as said society has let things slide Elaine x

my question was did things go downhill when the cane was banned

The cane was a deterrent to us who behaved ourselves.... those of us who would never have experienced it anyhow were terrified of it. However Whilst it mat have been a deterrent to a few, to some of the real bad 'uns it wasn't. 'Terry' from my primary was the class bully, always in trouble, always disrupting lessons. He got the cane several times, used to come back from the heads office smirking...he always re offended. He went to a different secondary school to me, but he lived nearby. One day, mum & I were walking down the road when I was about 14. He threw stones at us., not rocks but small stones just enough for us to notice. Mum said ignore and we did. Later on I heard he'd been in trouble with the police several times, then as I got older I heard no more. I'm glad the cane has gone and all corporal punishment. It stamps out the minority of teachers who were cane happy, and for those who may have been wrongly accused of misbehaving. E x

but did things go downhill when they banned the cane??

It's much more than any decision to cane or not to cane, Joy. It's called complex 'social change'. Jay

ive just been thinking back to when i was at school[many moons ago]at the time the cane was what ruled the school [in the 11 plus school]if you were in trouble at school god forbid should your parents find out. the headmaster and the 2 deputy heads put the fear of god into me just looking at them. but thinking back there were maybe 2-3 naughty kids,but thats it. [ironically all gone on tomake something of themselves.] why have things changed?surely the cane was a bad thing. but things seemed to have gone downhill from then,[or is it me] sharon this is not intended to be pointed at your son love.its just me thinking.bouncing my thoughts off peeps. hope you get all the help your son needs.hugs joyxxx

I totally agree, Jay, when I was teaching in mainstream I just wouldn't have had the time needed, no matter how much I would have wanted to help. Gwynne

Gwynne, 100% spot on. All too often it is down to numbers and resources. I teacher on their own with 30 children - 2 disruptive children (or even 1) takes up a disproportionate amount of the teacher's time to the detriment of the other 29 or 28. No-one should go to work expecting it's okay for them to be physically or verbally abused - this includes working in a school. Home/school books are great, but someone tell me how you manage to comment reasonably on a child's performance for the afternoon when you are alone with a class of 30, have been actively teaching all afternoon, been on playground duty with no break, then have to read a story to the whole class. The book must be ready for when the child is dismissed. There ARE times when things can't be done as well as teachers would like. (And sod's law - that's the very day when you do need to have a detailed dialogue with the parents, but the child is being collected by someone else!!) Jay

This is a really difficult situation. I used to teach in a school for children with challenging behaviour and not one of them would have escaped major sanction if he/she had called a teacher a whore. If you don't mind me asking did you give him any sanction for this? We worked with the parents as much as we could and the children had a home/school book where we wrote both positive and negative comments on the day for the parents to read and the parents did the same for us to read the next day. If the parents read that the child had behaved unacceptably in school they applied sanctions at home as well - like no TV. If they read that the child had had a really good day then the parents gave the child a small reward. In most cases when the children realised that the school and the parents were acting together there was a marked improvement in their behaviour. We had small classes and extra teachers so we were able to do this. In a mainstream school it would be much more difficult. However, in the long term, children need to learn that negative behaviour has negative consequences for them. If they think their parents will defend them right or wrong then their behaviour is unlikely to improve. It may be that the teachers at the school they are sending him to will have the time to talk through his problems and suggest ways in which he can control his anger. I know from experience that teachers who choose to work with such children are very committed to helping them. We were always thrilled when a child was able to return to mainstream. Sometimes the change was gradual and they went once a week and stayed with us the rest of the week to talk through any difficulties. Then, eventually, they were with us for just one day a week until they felt ready to go back full time. Sharon, I don't know you or your son and I don't know your circumstances but he seems to be a very unhappy young man at the moment. I hope he is helped to overcome his problems. Gwynne

I read 'One Child' on holiday age 17 in 1983. Years later I looked for the book to buy again, but couldnt find it. Then one day I was browsing and came accross it but the cover was different, and I believe Torey has published other books since Here is Toreys website & book reviews. http://www.torey-hayden(.)com/the_books.htm

O M G................IVE JUST FINISHED ONE OF HER BOOKS. its called ONE CHILD. caz its a must have.i could not leave it alone.and it helps so much with kids who have learning difficulties ,big ones. shes amazing.xxxx

caz check out the books by tory hayden they will help in your work we had to study them they deal with kids with serious problems really open your eyes

caz which joy lol.tuts.this is confusinglolxxx

Joy, the job Im in has kids with big problems, I look beyond the abuse for the reasons, Ta for understanding hun, Caz xxxxxxxx

i still think that like teachers you have normal ones good ones and ones with that extra bit that makes kids shine.well its the same as schools.some are brill some ok and some poor. its so easy for the schools to ban,it makes there life easier. all it will do is brand your son a baddie. maybe his school is,nt all that brill.xxx