General Chat

I feel very uncomfortable helping, especially, a male find a missing living female, and refuse to do it.

My uncomfortable feeling comes from some event I read about years ago that happened, I believe in England, where a man used either GR or its then parent site Friends Reunited (so early 2000s) to find what turned out to be his ex-girlfriend who had discontinued contact for a reason.

He stalked her and then badly injured her in an attack.

My brother and I have settled into a great relationship after 50 yrs, thank you namelessone.....more as extremely supportive good friends than siblings, which is lovely.

.........and it’s awful your friend had a “difficult experience” so of course that will affect your thoughts....

As for your original question, as Kath said.....once it’s in the public domain etc.
I find once/if it gets as far as pm’s, usually the reasons for the inquiry are revealed readily so I choose to continue or not as the case may be.

Misty

Thanks Mistycat. I expect some, but it all, my views are affected by the very difficult situation that a friend experienced some years ago.

I am glad that you found your brother - it shows that sometimes these things work w ell.

Good question namelessone, it always great to hear feedback along with others opinions/views....

Of course, we’re not all going to agree as our opinions differ, just as our personalities do.....I’m comfortable with the information I give, any queries I’m not happy with, I simply ignore. I see no point in adding unhelpful posts, stating only my own opinion and risk “putting people off” posting and missing the opportunity of a positive outcome all round...again I’m fully aware not all outcomes will be positive/happy, however we are all adults able to make our own choices with information that’s “out there” anyway (just my opinion)

I will never “help” where I know there are minors involved and always send sensitive info eg addresses etc by pm.

My “eagerness to be helpful” comes from finding my lovely brother (against the odds and unhelpful remarks) some years ago now, with the assistance of some fantastic people on here.

Misty

As this is a genealogy site should it used to find an unrelated person just because you want to get back in contact.?

Ido find the current query uncomfortable - a man looking for ( presumably) an old girlfriend. If, say, it was for a school reunion then the poster should have said so.

I have quite often been told that I shouldn't post certain information (birth, marriage, electoral registers etc.) because of data protection issues.

Any information that is already in the public domain is already exempt from "data protection" laws.

If anyone is unsure about what they can post it is easy enough to send the information to a poster by private message.

These message boards are already dying a slow death and if you can't share information with each other then I don't see any point in having the community boards at all.

Kath. x

what is the point of the board if public info is available and cant be posted
As long as the rules are abided by and current info id the person can be sent by private message that should be ok
how the poster uses it is for them to decide
perhaps it may be better if posters were ot state their reason for a request

It does say on the 'Find Living Relatives' page, that "Town or area where you think the person might be and name are acceptable."

But then, it also says "We reserve the right to edit any post that breaches our terms & conditions or reveals any information we deem too personal." - but is there anyone around?

In reality, if we can find the information - so can they!

There is often a disagreement on the finding boards over whetherit is right or wrong to help someone find another person.

The current disagreement is over helping a man to find a married woman where the maiden name and married name are given also the town where the woman went to school.

If help was given and this caused problems within the marriage could we be sued for providing the information? This would be the same question for finding birth parents.