General Chat

I think you are right about the next generation down Ginnie. On my side of the family, although there are some stable relationships, they aren’t married. On OH’s side, there are multiple divorces and remarriages, but non of them have lasted.

It is a dismal day here, I did more packing this morning, then we did our last delivery of library books to the housebound. There was one new lady who insisted that I come in because she couldn’t walk very well. I didn’t want to because as soon as she opened the door, the wall of smoke hit me. I had to go in, but within a couple of minutes, I could hardly breathe. When I got back in the car.OH said that I stank. I am glad that I won’t be going back there again.

Hello all and welcome to Sylvia, good to have another person to chat to.

Rainy day here so not venturing out . It was lovely yesterday but back to the dismal weather for most of the week I think.

We have also been married for 54 years (55 in Nov.) and we met 2 years before that. In both our family our siblings have been married for 50+ but the next generation of 21 only 3 have stayed married and the others divorced or never chose to marry. Not so many people now will reach the anniversaries of 40 and 50+ yrs as if they do marry it tends to be after they have lived together for yeas.

Well take care all

Ginnie

Afternoon everyone looking in.

Well a very sleepless night! I went to bed around midnight and at 3am, the rain woke me. It was torrential against my bedroom window. Was awake again at 5am and then got up at 8 so hardly any quality sleep.

Its windy and still raining so an awful day here and glad Im not going anywhere.

Sylvia, you are more than welcome to join this thread. Its always lovely to hear news from afar. You don't have to post everyday, its up to you just whenever you feel like it.

Joan, when my mum died, she lived alone as my parents divorced when I was 2 so after we registered her death and went to the bank with the certificate. I went on that website Turn 2 us and they dealt with all her pensions, PIP and Pension credit. There was an over payment in the interim as all her benefits went into the bank so we paid that back straightaway.

The bank just wanted to see the will naming myself and brother as exors and then got us to fill in forms in order to close her 4 accounts and transfer the money to where we told them. That took around 3 weeks so fairly quick. The Probate came through after 3 months.

The longest part was changing all the utilities into my name.

I'm guessing if you didn't have a joint account, then that would take longer to deal with possibly.

Linda, when i moved in 2021, I think i did 70 letters notifying change of address as well as emails!! I paid for a years redirection to the PO but it was worth the money as it took nearly a year to catch every company etc to change my address.

It's all the things like Drs, dentist, DVLA. I actually forgot to tell DVLA and wasnt until my boss said to me your driving licence still has your old address! If you dont notify them you can get fined quite a lot so I did it online straightaway.

But it was all the mail order companies that send me their catalogues, although not so many these days. They took ages to update their mailing list.

I have moved at least 14/15 times so really i have it down to a fine art and being organised is the key to a smooth move.Im not planning on another move but....never say never lol

I was in the shower when I heard the front door go, it never fails. Jumped out and threw my dressing gown on and a towel round my head only to see the local delivery van speeding away and 2 boxes left on the hall table! Of course daughter had gone to town and wasn't sure if it was someone knocking grrrr.

Well my kitchen needs my attention as the table is cluttered as per with daughters things as she was running late and left bits & bobs all over the place. She left a pile of washing too....very kind of her!

Shall look in later

have a good day all
Florence in the hebrides

Good morning, & welcome to Sylvia.
We do have a nice morning so far, sunny & calm & a tad warmer !

With regards to the "TellUs Once" help, when I registered hubbys death (done over the phone) the registrar dealt with that for me but it was only in regards to any Government things, ie receiving a state pension, getting any benefits, DVLA paperwork, Jacks private pension & other momies has to be done by us via a solicitor !

I am apparently due to receive 1/2 of his private pension but the Post Office Pension department won't deal with us direct without official permission ! mean while his FULL pension is still being paid out, so of course we will have to pay back any over payment.
I would have preferred to get it sorted out before that happened !

Joan.

Good morning, it would be lovely if you joined the thread Sylvia.
I will have been married for fifty four years in July and we met two years before that at a party at Leeds uni. I saw him when I arrived with a group of girls from my hall of residence. I thought he looked very nice, but he was with another girl who I recognised from uni, but I didn’t know. After a short while, they left , but after a while he came back and we started talking and dancing. It turns out, he had just met the other girl at the party and he walked her home when she wanted to leave. She by that time had decided that she didn’t want to see him again, so he came back to the party where his friends still were and presumably to try his luck again :-D. I did agree to another date and the rest is history

I remember the tell me once form from when my parents died, I could do with that now as I have an enormous list of people and organisations to inform about the house move. I would say we are about ninety percent packed now, but the rest can’t be done yet. We have been really ruthless in going through our possessions and getting rid of them if we haven’t used them recently or if they are not going to fit in the new house which is smaller than this one. Yesterday OH suddenly said that he thought we wouldn’t need a modern chest of drawers from the spare bedroom, so I put it on the free Facebook site and a couple of hours later a couple were taking it away for their daughter’s bedroom.

Joan yes it is a sort of 'limbo' time after the death of a partner when everything seems to need to be changed. I too was fortunate in having our daughter to help with contacting various people. But the funeral people were a help woo as they presented us with a form called 'Tell us once'. We had to list banks etc on the form and the funeral service contacted them all. that was we didn't need as many copies of the death certificate. I was very impressed with that. I hope that you can get straight soon

I am sure your snowdrops look lovely as the ones I had from you are spreading well in my garden and looked wonderful in yesterday's sunshine.

Sylvia, welcome, good to see you on the thread. Always great to hear news from abroad. When Tony died we had been together for 64.5 years (4 years 'courting' and 60.5 married)

I keep looking in here, and thought it might be time to see if I can join in?!

Joan ............... I'm so sorry for your loss, but am glad that you are feeling up to posting again.

I was taken with what you posted the other day about being married for 57 years but together for 60. That made me think about us ................. we'll have been married 57 years in August, but we first met 65 years ago! The fact that we didn't fall in love until 10 months before we married means that we did only court for 58 years! I hadn't realised that it had been 65 years of knowing each other!

Linda ............ I hope your move goes smoothly this time. I dread the thought of moving from this house, we've lived here since 1972 and accumulated so much "stuff" I wouldn't know where to start. I do know some of it is heirloom and either our daughter or one or t'other of 2 nieces and 1 nephew might want some if not all of that! How do we divvy it up if they all want the same thing(s)?!!

Florence ............. you did a great job when you started this thread! I love hearing about where you live. I'm sorry to hear about your eye sight problems. Mine both clouded over during the last 2 years, the left one first then the right. I thought that was it, but finally went to my ophthalmologist who sent me to a retina specialist. It turns out that it was on the artificial lenses put in when I had cataract surgery back in 2000! Seemingly some living cells from the original lens may be left behind when it is removed and they can grow up over the inside of the artificial lens, thus causing misting or cloudiness. This is not unusual. A few shots with a laser to each eye broke up that cloudiness, left me with floaters for several days, but clear eyesight now. I have to go see him again at the end of the month, and I should then be able to go back to my ophthalmologist and get a prescription for new glasses.

Amazing what can be done these days!!

We've been having some similar weather to you guys, with very unusual events! We're also facing severe drought conditions again this summer, as well as another severe wild fire season, as we haven't had sufficient rain over the winter months until the last 3 weeks, and snow fall in the mountains is well below normal.

Take care everyone

Afternoon all.

By golly I'm feeling it cold here today and with a biting wind too. I'm beginning to feel I have cabin fever as haven't managed outside for fresh air for ages as the weather has been far too awful what with the gales etc.

I'm seeing the tops of various bulbs in the big planter peeping over the rim. Cant wait for them all to flower. There was about 30 different flower bulbs, so should look pretty once they flower.

Joan, I'm sure your snowdrops look lovely Spring isnt far away and before long, your garden will be full of colour and new life.

Dealing with the bank etc does take a bit of time but hopefully your daughter will get things sorted fairly soon for you. My dad still collects his pension in cash from the PO but I think he was told, it will have to go into his bank now which he didnt want!

Anyway estate agent tel me earlier to say, she had finally got a call from buyers sol to say, paperwork will be on its way this week to our sol. I then tel my sol to pass this on and she said as long as no unwanted surprises we could complete in 2 weeks time so yay for that!

Having a large jacket potato tonight with cheese, beans and some salad. never seen such a huge potato!. I'm noticing my eyesight is fading fast as struggling when I'm typing and making lots of errors so I have to read it all back to make sure its ok.

Heres hoping I hear from the surgeon soon.

Take care and keep warm everyone

Florence in the hebrides

Hello to you all.
Linda you must be feeling excited about your house move, I really hope you will settle quickly into your new home & the area you are moving to & that any alterations you have planned go well, but don't forget to have some me & hubby time from time to time.
I know you enjoy being with your grandaughters etc but from what I have seen from your previous replies on this thread you are kept soo very busy with all your family, you take care.

I have had a busy morning today, I had to go into town to deal with some issues at the bank, then once home again I needed to contact someone about moving my state pension into our current account, thankfully our daughter is such a help when it comes to dealing with the likes of banks, car insurance, cancelling this & starting up that, I would be hopeless if I had to deal with such things on my own.

There are still a couple of things outstanding we need to change but we cannot change them until the courts allow it (Scotland) I will be glad when we get that in place & then I should be able to move on !

It's a lovely sunny day here, nice & calm but still very cold, I am so hoping it will warm up soon as I will be able to go outside & make a start on tidying up some branches that have been blown around.
I am so wanting to check on the plants & see if they have survived the cold & high winds that we have had in recent weeks, especially the 4 new Clematus thta i planted in November.
I just wish that Jack could have seen all our Snowdrops once again, they are everywhere, & the Daffies have put in appearance, no flowers yet of course but it won't be long.

Joan..





.

It is really cold this afternoon. Our buyers came this morning for a last visit before the move. Everything is in place and their solicitor has their money, so it should all go through quickly on the day - famous last words :-)

I have been packing kitchen things this afternoon, but am watching the rugby now. I will do some more kitchen things tomorrow, but the rest will have to wait as we are still using things.

I will have a box with me in the car Florence with the kettle etc. plus our medication, tooth brushes etc and some clean undies :-D. When we moved here, it was in a Friday and the removal van packed our old house and got here just after lunch. The problem was that the money hadn’t transferred along the chain, we were at the top. The removal men were getting twitchy and said that if we hadn’t got the keys by 4pm, they would drive away back to their depot where we had come from. As all their vans were booked out for the following day, they would have to unload all of out stuff into their warehouse. We would then have to wait until the middle of the following week before they could bring everything back because their vans were booked until then. Mercifully the keys were released with fifteen minutes to spare. They emptied the van at lightening speed so they could get away.

Joan, I think the time after the funeral when family and friends have left is the time when you feel your loss keenly. The arrangements keep your mind occupied and then suddenly you only have your thoughts and memories. I remember my mom saying that the evening and nights were the worst as in the day she could keep busy . I hope you will always find someone on here to chat to if you need to.

Good work with all that packing Linda . You certainly seem very organised . We have been in our house since the early 80s so haven't had to do that since then but my OH was just like yours. He may have been worse as he never labelled the boxes with what was in or which room they were to go in . Fun and games when it came to unpacking lol. I said I would never leave it to him again.

Weather hasn't been to bad today but chilly still, have noticed some little daffs poking up in the front garden so spring is on the way .

Take care everyone

Ginnie,

Afternoon all

It is true that after the business of arranging things and dealing with people, it is the quiet time when you are on your own, that it's hard. But if you keep busy with various jobs and also the paperwork will continue to need attention for some time, then the day passes fairly quickly.

Joan, in the evening, make time to watch your fav programmes and do your cross stich and remember to make your fav dinners too. I guess trying to keep normality and a routine is key to helping you cope. Hopefully your daughter will still come and take you out to the shops and garden centre when she can.

I have been thinking about what I'm going to grow this year. I have many flower seeds but just so many to choose from. But I am slowly transferring the roses and other plants into larger pots as they make for a better display and the plants have more room to grow.

Our snow has gone but its still freezing today at 3 degrees brrr so I have put on the heating a bit earlier than usual.

Something light for tea tonight as not overly hungry and also, dont feel in the mood for a big dinner!

Linda, well done on your packing, I remember it well in 2021. I put my clothes still on hangers under a bin bag. I made a hole at the top for the hanger and then when we moved, I just laid them flat on my back seat of the car and then straight into the wardrobes the other end. Think I managed about 10 per bag.

labelling the boxes with rooms is essential in finding things quickly. we left just 2 plates, bowls etc in the weeks before we left and packed away the rest. If I remember, in my car, I had a small box with the kettle 4 cups, coffee, milk & sugar and a packet of biscuits lol essential items in my book.

Well washing machine has finished so need to dry off the load now.

Take care all

Florence in the hebrides

It is a hard time Joan but you will get there. One good thing is that we are moving forward in the year, spring will soon be here and then summer and you will have lots to do to keep your brain occupied. Just ease yourself in gently, go with the flow, eat when you want to it and what you like to eat. Just be gentle with yourself.

I think that the time after a funeral is always a hard time Joan. There has been all the hustle and bustle, making the arrangements and lots of people around, then suddenly everyone goes and it is all quiet. It will take you time to get back into a routine, but you will get there.

We are doing very well with the packing, I would say that it is 80% done. I just have some of my clothes to lift out of the wardrobe and into a box, but they art staying on the hangers, so they will lift easily out at the other end. I have packed a fair bit from the kitchen, but it won’t take long to put the rest into boxes. We still have eleven days left, so plenty of time. I am making sure that I know what is in every box, so know where things are. We do still need to use things, we needed the battery charger yesterday and I knew exactly where it was, OH would just have been randomly turning boxes upside down. He has packed up the garage contents, so if we need anything before we go, we will never find it :-(

Good morning, & thankyou for you most recent replies to my husbands funeral..

The last of our 5 children has now left my home & on her way back to Lanark, a few tears were shed when saying cheerio but she will be back for another visit as soon as she is able to do so, it's a long journey from her home to mine.
The house is very quiet now,.

Not the nicest of days for us today, it's raining & still rather windy, the rain has been non stop since yesterday morning, very heavy through last night, the wind was horrendous last night & still blowing hard today, & so cold.
The power went off twice early on last night, not for too long but long enough !

I am about to have a tidy round & hoover through the downstairs, after having the whole of the family here recently including some young children there are a lot of crumbs & bits & pieces lying around, lol, it will give me something to do.

I'm struggling & feel so lost at the moment, bed time being the worst time, but with the help of everyone around me I will get there.

Joan.

I am glad that your husband had such a lovely send off yesterday Joan and that all of the family came together when it mattered.
I hope that you will feel well enough to come back to the chat soon <3 <3

So pleased for you and your family Joan that the day went as well as it could and you were looked after well.

Be gentle on yourself as you pick up the threads of everyday life <3

So pleased to hear things went well and the weather didn't keep people away.
My eldest brother funeral was a nightmare this time two years agao as storms hit on the day.

Good to hear everything went smoothly Joan and also that the rift you mention did not spoil the day. So glad all of your family came together to support you and were able to be there on the day.

So glad we can be here for you and anyone else that needs a friend at anytime.

Take care now

Florence in the hebrides

I am so pleased that it all went so well for you Joan And lovely that all the family came together. Hopefully something was healed by the dad occasion. <3 <3 <3