General Chat

I know I thump on about it but this poor girl is a classic victim of a narcissistic mother.Please Google her name, it will be better than have me re-hash the details leading up to her wicked murder.

She had been looking for help and was accused by her mother, who was only too aware of the abuse she was suffering, of lying and moved to another school, leaving her in an even more vulnerable position.

This is what narcissists do, and there will be one living very close to you.

The response to this posting so reflects society's response.

Many looked but none intervened.

I’m not sure what response you are expecting Sharron?

I saw a news report about her earlier Sharron but I'm afraid I am physically unable to read much at the moment so can't comment except to say I am appalled by the mothers behaviour.

Any response really, Vera.

Any response really, Vera.

Like Island, I was appalled but had nothing more useful I could say

Such a good reflection. just like life.

People see but nobody knows what they can say or do.

It is an enormous problem.

What the case showed was the crass failure by Social Services.
Teachers involved them - they could see something wasn't right - whether it was the narcissist lodger or Lucy's mother's narcissistic attitude, something wasn't right.
Social Services took her mother's word and ignored the teachers' concerns.

The problem is, as you know, Sharron, narcissists are very good at covering their tracks. My mother was the life and soul of the party. I'm sure, like me, you thought your mother's behaviour was normal when you were young.
I have 3 older siblings, but they're so much older, I thought the way I was treated was how people my age were treated by their mothers. My sister still can't/won't believe some of the things I say about our mother - she has excuses, or blames it on altered memories looking back - and she was there!
It was only a few years ago, my eldest brother, not known for small talk, and very sensitive about people 'slagging' others' off - he got upset when my sister, sister in law and I were saying how much we dislike a particular broadcaster - came up to me and said 'Mother was a bitch to you - there's a name for people like her, but, her attitude towards you - she was just a bitch'.
Not the sort of thing I'd imagine him ever saying, about anyone, let alone mother.

The problem is, children think as I thought, it was 'normal' - they know no different.
Social Services, and teachers, however, need some education in the matter.

There is certainly still a belief that motherhood and sainthood are pretty well interchangeable conditions and it is very easy to make others believe that a child is imagining things.

Given Mr Owl, his relationship with his children and how they ended up there, Yvonne my mothers mother and a difficult experience involving two children, their mothers many boyfriends and the children being in the room while it went on I know different. Motherhood and sainthood are not one and the same and every mother has the ability to fail their children spectacularly as happened in this case.

My mother didn’t want me before she had me. My mother wanted a boy as after being raised by men she had no idea what to do with a girl. My mother gave my siblings and me everything she had to the point of smothering us. Mr Owl is the oldest at 38 and my sister in law is the youngest at 27 and my mother still worries what we’ll do if she doesn’t cut the fat off our bacon in a bacon roll. How lucky am I to have a mother who gives so much to her three children and their partners.

I am lucky to be so loved by my mother that she gives her children her all emotionally without spoiling us. Sadly though there is no test to take before you become a parent and some children like Lucy pay the ultimate price for that failure.

Narcissism is a known Cluster B personality disorder, it's existence is only too well known and documented.

Unfortunately, there is no therapy or hope of a 'cure' available so it is allowed to go on unhindered. My own doctor had no knowingly encountered it because narcissists never seek help because they don't think there is anything wrong with them, they are totally self-absorbed and delusional.

Having had the condition pointed out to him my doctor recognized the behaviour of his own mother-in-law!