General Chat

It is upsetting and frustrating but ultimately ZZZZ you have to, as people have said, just leave the door open. The only similar experience we have had is that when OH's brother left his wife and 3 children and got divorced, even though we had known nothing about what he was doing. Hid first wife cut off all connection between us and them (her and the children). We were very fond of the children and the girl was our bridesmaid so it was very upsetting. (she also cut contact with their grandad(. We tried to find the children in adult life without success then many years later (about 10 years ago) the middle child a man by then, traced us on face book and about 6 years ago now we met up with all three children and the Mother then in her 80s, she died four years ago. We remained in touch with the one who found us but the others were not really bothered. Sadly, Pete died early this year. But at least we did have contact. So there is always hope.

Mr Owls children don’t want to see or speak to him and it is difficult. He still sends them birthday cards and Christmas cards every year and our door is always open if they ever decide they want a relationship with their dad. Sending hugs <3

Today is the 71st birthday of my middle brother. He has cut himself off from me and our younger brother for some time, no idea why but he's declined invites from us by him and his son. We get Christmas cards from him sent by his wife and from his son (sent by his wife). His neighbours say he's an unsocial bloke and he's never had friends. It's sad but his choice!

Lizx

Hope you are feeling better today Z live each day as it comes life.s to short to worry about what might be .we al have problems .if you can try & rise above them otherwise you will make yourself ill best wishes Barbara <3

They are the ones who lose out, ultimately. I agree with Vera about leaving a chink in the door. My Mum's sister had 4 children, 2 boys and 2 girls. The eldest boy gradually lost touch with the rest although he did turn up at his Dad's funeral. He died last year after a painful last few months and, even then, he didn't contact his siblings. His brother saw him right at the end and was devastated, as much for the 'lost' years as for his untimely death. He could have had so much love and support in his last months.

Since I separated 3 years ago, my daughter came to live with me but my son decided to stay with his father. he has only visited me twice in 3 years and even when I was having my heart surgery, not once did he tel me to see how I was.

This hurts me after all I did for him but at 25 he is a grown man and I cant force him to come and see or tel me.
One day he may realise how much he has hurt me but until then I have my daughter here and family down south.

So my advice to you ZZzzzz is stay close to the family you have. The ones that don't speak to you will one day come round.

In my experience if you leave them be then like lambs they will eventually come back to their mum.

Sending you big hugs <3


Florence in the hebrides

I’ve never experienced any close family breakdown myself so I can only imagine how you must feel. The only thing I would say is always leave the door open a chink so your son, at least, can find his way back to you. At some later date he may regret this and have a change of heart. Sending you love and hugs <3

I just don’t understand what they think they achieve by being this way.

Think you all for thoughts and love and hugs, it helps a lot.

You actually have one more than i do. I just have OH but I really don't mind. Probably, because I was brought up in the isolate and destroy school of parenting with some very difficult extended family I am comfortable this way.

It is quite surprising just how many families are disjointed.

Our family is the same in lots of ways.
It hurts so much but it is their choice.
If you have done all you can then you just have to accept it.
Families eh.
Sending you love and hugs. <3

Its a shame these things happen our Eldest Son won't speak to us carry on with your Hubby & Your Brother. Thinking of you x Barbara

Sorry that you are in such a horrible situation. Is there no way of changing things especially with your son. I can only begin to imagine how hurt you are. You know we are always here for you to rant at.

<3 I have the same with my 2 eldest kids and I also had it from my so called mother and sister so I do know how you feel. OH has no contact with 2 of his kids either

But I can no longer communicate in any way what so ever with two of my siblings and my son, they have cut off all forms of communication, I know why but it still hurts, so now apart from my husband and brother there is no one else, thanks for reading this, it has helped a bit to put it in writing.