General Chat

I don't know where this came from but is circulating at the moment:

DEAR NEIGHBOUR:
Hi, Max. This is Richard, next door. I’ve been riddled with guilt for a few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face. When you’re not around, I’ve been sharing your wife, day and night, probably much more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently. I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can’t live with the guilt & hope you’ll accept my sincere apology and forgive me.
Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.
Regards
Richard

Max, feeling enraged and betrayed, grabbed his gun, went next door, shot Richard dead. He returned home, shot his wife, poured himself a very stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. Max then looked at his phone and discovered a second text message from Richard.

SECOND TEXT MESSAGE
Hi, Max. Richard here again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I assume you figured it out and noticed that the darned Spell-Checker had changed “wi-fi” to “wife”. Technology, huh? It’ll be the death of us all.

:-D :-D :-D :-D :-D

Kath. x

:-0 :-D :-D

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Have you noticed that only the females have appreciated the message?
What does that tell us?

That men don't get it? :-D :-D

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Still googling for a lengthy article on wives? :-D :-D :-D

not many men have guns, methinks!

ProbAbly not appreciated as most men have seen it before and remembered it. ;-)

then there was the tale of two women discussing how they died.the first said she was looking for her husbands' mistress,and had looked every where but couldn't find her,knew her husband was cheating, and was so distraught she threw herself out of a window......."and how did YOU die?" she said to the other,

the second woman said "well if you'd looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive.....!"

:-D

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.
WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.
How'd you die?
SYLVIA: I froze to death.
WANDA: How horrible!
SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.
What about you?
WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV.
SYLVIA: So, what happened?
WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking.
I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds.
I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died.
SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer -- we'd both still be alive.