General Chat

When I did something wrong and it upset someone I realised my mistake and apologised, this person won’t even look at me anymore, it was quite a while ago too. I don’t know what more I can do.

I think it is a shame if people can't accept an apology and move on. It must be very hurtful for you. Life is too short to bear grudges but there is probably nothing you can do but put it behind you and move on.

I have witnessed a similar situation which continued to 'simmer' on to include the next generation of the families concerned.

Neither party gained anything from the extended 'dispute'. Both sides are now deceased.

Very sad!

I simply don’t understand, I don’t hold grudges but I firmly believe in karma.

Some people seem not to be able to give up on a perceived "wrong".

OH and I have had some good laughs about my father's family, which I've discovered through my family research seemed to have at least one person in each generation who couldn't let go.

My father had 5 siblings who survived childhood, one of his brothers was always out at odds with at least one of the others. His problem with my father was that we moved house in 1951, and he bore that grudge until Dad died almost 20 years later!

Another of the siblings had grandchildren where one was always mad at one of his/her siblings.

In my generation**, one sister always had a grudge against one or other sibling or against one of her children and wasn't speaking to them. She tried to draw OH and myself into one of those, without success .......... which is when we found it good to be able to laugh about it.

It also looks as though previous generations in that family had similar situations.


I've sometimes wondered if my mother's ancestors had similar situations. She never mentioned any cousins or aunts and uncles, let alone grandparents ......... I've had to discover them through research. It was almost as if they never existed to Mum and her immediate family, even though I've discovered that one grandfather lived with Mum and her parents until Mum was 9 or 10 years of age, and other relations were still alive when I was young.. Why?


Is there something inherited??????


EDIT:- ** clarification ............." In my generation of cousins, one of them always had a grudge against one or other of her siblings.... "

Sorry, I phrased it as though it was my sister, I only had 1 sibling, a brother.

Sees like my family, 2 siblings and a son were looking for a reason to have a split with us well they found one and truth be told that amongst other things it’s because we still live in a council house which we bought several years ago and didn’t move to a private house. :-(

Oh my word, ZZzzz - if that's their attitude, best to not be a part of it!
I really can't understand that attitude.
It's almost as though where you live, is more important than who you and your OH are, as people :-0

Actually, a friend (the driver - who lives in Social housing too) has a sister in law with a similar attitude.
We used to go to his family gatherings, where she (whose father had loads of money) would pass unsubtle comments about 'the poor amongst us'.
It actually embarrassed my friends other family members.
It came to a head when I asked for her definition of 'poor'.
Did she mean 'poor' as in lack of money, 'poor' as in lack of education, or did she mean 'poor' as in the total lack of manners she was showing?
She shut up. :-D :-D

If somebody makes a fat lady joke to me, they are dead until they apologize. Likewise, if they pretend they don't know me at some point, that is the end of it, they don't know me, I don't need to bother with them.

Maggiewinchester that sounds so much my sister in-law, she was having an extension built and i was chatting to one of the builders about the school we went to the girl married etc, well she was was spitting feathers, I can’t possibly know him he is a very rich business man and am the village idiot, then the business partner walked up and I knew him too :-D :-D :-D

ZZzzz ...........


I love it. That would really show her!!!

:-D :-D :-D Brilliant!

As it happens, I am the poorest amongst my siblings.
As children, we didn't necessarily get on. My siblings are 5, 6 and 7 years older than me.
My brothers went to boarding school, and as a result we didn't see each other very much, and when they were home, they had to look after their kid sister.(me)

I live in a Council house. One brother, and my sister both own their own houses.
The other brother lived in Social housing in London for years - whilst becoming a very successful bonsai potter.
He now lives in a very run down flat in Somerset - but owns what was a shell of a building - an old Smithy - which he has spent the past 5 years renovating - well turning into a studio and flat - and is still one of the UK's best respected potters.
Do they look down on me?
No.
Why not? Because wealth is not how you judge a person. Our dad always wanted his children to talk to a beggar the same way they'd talk to a king. (even though mum believed the opposite!). I'm pleased to say, apparently, I did!

To add to that she said our marriage wouldn’t last because we hadn’t known each other for long enough, we met and married within 8 months in 1978, this same woman is hubby’s sister.