General Chat

Another story of a school bully this time told to me by a friend who’s an occupational therapist and visits several different schools. This time it was a young boy who was 7 years old. The class teacher caught the boy yet again bullying a classmate and so pulled him up for it. The result was the boy then throwing a chair and the teacher demanding that the LSA remove him from the classroom. The LSA took the boy to her own office and once he had calmed down asked him what had happened to cause this. It turns out that mum had brought home ‘daddy’ number 4, his older sister was pregnant and his older brother was dealing drugs from the house. His home life was chaotic and he couldn’t cope.

There is always a reason why children choose to bully others and quite often they can be victims too.

There was a young girl who attended an after school club I used to help out at a few years ago. The club was in a very affluent area where the children apparently want for nothing. This girl A was there for about two years from age 8 to age 10. Every time she attended she would act out and try to upset the other children until we would have to speak to her parents. The behaviour would improve for a few weeks and then we’d be back to square one. It was only after speaking to A that you realised why she behaved the way she did. A had everything she wanted except for one thing she needed the most her parents time.

Her parents gave her a bus pass and every weekend A would leave the house on her own and explore the city. A also had her own house key as it turned out that on a week night a parent would pick her up from the club and then she’d take herself home whilst they went back to work. A was acting out and bullying because it was the only time her parents paid real attention to her.

Silence encourages bullies to bully.

They can be taught the error of their ways, Rollo, if anyone is prepared to confront them.
Children normally have a reason for bullying, be it over-indulgent parents, or parents who ignore them, or mistreat them.
In a way, they are as much the 'victim' as those they bully.

The boy my daughter kicked, then had to go on to being 'escorted' to school meetings by her. His twin was 'escorted' by my other (younger) daughter. (nothing to do with me - just a very aware head teacher)
The boys behaved extremely well. They went onto secondary school. Though not the smartest of children, they weren't the worst behaved, either.
When she was about 17, my daughter got herself a GSD/Collie cross dog.
She was at my house (with now large dog) about 2 years later.
The twins (now about 19) were walking past my house, saw the dog in the garden and stopped. I asked why.
Apparently, they thought the dog would do whatever we said, and were worried we'd set her onto them if they walked past.
I asked why they thought we'd do that.
Transpired they thought they deserved it, and it's the sort of thing their 'friends' would do. Which is very sad.
They became very lovely, caring men, unfortunately, due to their mothers death, and their father's fecklessness they, and their sister, became homeless shortly after I saw them.
20 years later, they were still homeless.
I'd see them on the street, have a chat, give them tobacco and a coffee, and sadly walk on. They were now into drugs. One of the boys is now dead. I haven't seen the other brother, or their sister for a while.

Don't tar everyone with the same brush.
Some people are bullies because they're allowed to be - certain schools encourage it, after all, aren't they 'better' than everyone else, and for that matter, the 'Bullingdon Club', is just an exercise in bullying in an apparently 'acceptable' way.

Some people are bullies because they know no better - that's all they know.
Some people are bullies because they're scared.
Some people are bullies because they think they're better than anyone else.
Some people are bullies because they're just sad sacks with no empathy or moral compass.

My thoughts are that bullies are cowards, I’ve been bullied and harassed in the work place but found that when I stood up to them they backed off, one was ordered about by his wife at home so took it out on us, long story but in the end I got the better of him and he shut up.
It must be on my forehead “ go on see how far you can push me before I snap”

My experience is that bullies at school necome bullies at work, in social settings and marriages. They don't reform they just get better at hiding it. Those willing and able to put them down can find it a lifetime battle.

Their parents can present themselves such that butter would not melt on their chin but behind closed doors it is another matter.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2020/feb/22/home-office-immigration-head-quits-row-patel

It seems that it is quite widespread so I don’t know why it can’t be dealt with either by the schools or government.

:-D :-D :-D :-D

When I started as a LSA at secondary school a boy said to me:
"You're safe here, miss, but not at home"
I replied in a jovial voice "Oh, is that a threat? Thanks for the 'heads up'.
If anything happens near my house, I'll know just where to send the police" and started walking off.
He shouted "You don't know where I live!"
"No problem" I shouted back (so everyone could hear) "I'm just off to the office to get your address. The police will know exactly where to go, don't worry"

It transpires he was a nasty piece of stuff - bullied, hit, everything - but was putty in my hands after that :-D

My cousin was a school bus driver and one of the children was being a bully, she stopped the bus asked what as going on and as told that victim was lesbian and needed to be taught a lesson so cousin got up said she is my daughter and so am I ( she is built like a brick s..t house) wasn’t in the least aggressive, just made the statement and continued driving, she said she had never known the bus to be so quiet after that and they left her alone.

You may have seen I have a step grandson with learning difficulties

He went to a local main stream school which had an annex for kiddies with physical and learning difficulties

He is now at college and some of the boys he went to school with go there too

Last year he had problems with one of the boys who made allegations against him and was being nasty and getting him in trouble and then grandson wacked him and the lads parents made a complaint

The college investigated and one of the allegations was something was supposed to have occurred on the school bus but they have a female helper on the bus and she told a different story on how the lad taunted and was aggressive to grandson

Seems for some reason the lad wanted grandson expelled from college but when questioned couldn’t say why he had turned on grandson
He even tried to get other boys to back him up

When grandson was questioned about what had happened he was confused and said he thought it was him!

But the college sorted it and the other lad was warned that bullying wasn’t acceptable and his parents informed

Grandson is a lad in his own world and just doesn’t understand why others may not like him

It’s very sad for kids and indeed adults who get bullied for being a bit different

The college did sort it though

My eldest has always detested bullying of any kind, and used to 'take down' bullies at primary school :-D
I was a LSA at the school, and would never deal with my own children's shortcomings whilst there.
There was one family of bullies. Their parents wouldn't get involved - apparently it was solely the school's problem.
If my eldest saw one them bullying,(usually much younger children) she'd shout at them, and tell them to stop. If this didn't work (I was told by other LSA's) she'd drag them to a LSA.
On one occasion, one of the boys got really nasty and tried to kick her, so the LSA's turned their backs just as her retaliatory kick hit home! He complained to the LSA, who (truthfully) said they hadn't seen anything.
They didn't like getting their own medicine back, and actually had respect for her after that!. :-S
When I say 'had respect' - if they misbehaved, they were asked if they wanted to see my daughter - they didn't. :-D :-D :-D

My son bullied one of his friends, when I told the school head she couldn’t believe that he was doing it but had him watched and dealt with and oh boy he was punished at home too, the school made him apologise to the lad in front of the whole school, he didn’t do it after that.

I am absolutely shocked that the school did nothing about the bullying, if that is what was happening.
Looking from the other side, perhaps the boy just didn't like going to school - but then, it was the schools duty to discuss it with his parents, likewise the parents' duty to discuss it with the school and try to resolve the situation.
Either way, the poor lad was at the end of his tether.

I think that was in Australia wasn't it, poor little lad. It may have raised the profile of the issue I suppose and, being young, a trip to disney might well make him feel a bit better but my guess is it won't cure the problem.

I saw that little lad on Facebook and it was heartbreaking

Just wondered why the school didn’t do anything

Also thought why his mum or parents didn’t keep him home and let the authorities question why he wasn’t going to school

Thought if he was my kiddy I would have made a big stink about his care at school


Don’t think the whole story was told

Do you think it has helped people to realise how much damages are done because of the dwarf being bullied went viral and people rallied round to donate money so he can go to Disney world? I think it is shocking that nothing seems to be done yet.