General Chat

:-D :-D :-D :-D

I went to the supermarket Monday afternoon on my bicycle, bought bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.

As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.

So I sat and drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.


It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

:-D :-D :-D :-D

DOWN THE DRAIN
(The twelve bottles of whisky)

I had twelve bottles of whisky in my cellar...
and my wife told me to empty the contents
of each and every bottle down the sink...
or else!
So, I said I would... and proceeded with the unpleasant task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and
poured the contents down the sink, with the
exception of one glass... which I drank.

I extracted the cork from the second bottle
and did likewise with the exception of one
glass... which I drank.

I pulled the cork from the third bottle and
poured the whiskey down the sink, with the
exception of one glass... which I drank.

I then withdrew the cork from the fourth sink
and poured the bottle down the glass...
which I drank.

I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next
and drank one sink out of it and threw the
rest down the glass.

I pulled the sink out of the next glass and
poured the cork from the bottle.
Then I corked the sink with the glass, bottled
the drink and drank the pour.

When I had everything emptied I steadied
the house with one hand, counted the bottles,
corks, glasses and sinks with the other, which
were twenty-nine.

To make sure I counted them again... they came to seventy-four.

And as the house came by, I counted them again,
and finally I had all the houses and bottles and
corks and sinks and glasses counted,
except one house and one cork... which l drank.

Slàinte!

:-D :-D :-D Mr M & Dermie ....hic :-D :-D

:-D :-D

old albert was dying, and says to his best friend, when I'm gone, I want you to take the con tents of my whisky collection, and pour them all onto my grave....

Tom his best friend says Aye I will that, the noo, but do ye mind if I filter it all through my kidneys first ????

We all owe the grave many a day. (A Gaelic Proverb).

Not a joke, but drink related. I went to the supermarket for a bottle of gin a couple of days ago. Bombay Sapphire 70cl bottle £17. Litre bottle £16. How does that work then? No prizes for guessing which one I bought.

Just seeing about the house going by leads me to counsel you to NEVER get drunk on liqueurs.

The room goes in and out and your bed swings.

I found,(and many others also) that during N/s in the 60's, in Dortmund, visits to the local bierkeller had the same effect!!

I have tried a number of interesting fluids and have found nothing worse than liqueurs.